To accuse nanny of being a thief?

[inanannypickle]

Nanny started with us 9 months ago. DD and DS absolutely adore her and will be devastated if we have to let her go. She is very good with them and helpful around the house etc. She is live in.

About six weeks after her starting we also got a new cleaner. About 3 weeks after the cleaner starting (so about 7 months ago) some money went missing out of my nightstand- £200 to be precise. DD and DS are too young to take it, DH wouldn't so after searching high and low for it for 2 days both DH and I had a sit down with our nanny and cleaner and explained we weren't angry and we were both willing to giving them another chance if the money was returned there and then. Both protested their innocence but cleaner texted me the next day saying she was quitting so we put it down to a guilty conscience and let it go.

Nanny has also been babysitting for a friend of ours once a week. Last week she contacted me to say £50 had gone missing out of her handbag while nanny was there and that she needed to have a word with her about it. So I sent Nanny round who protested her innocence to her and while friend said she would be unable to offer her anymore work decided to let it go. I didn't mention about the £200.

Anyway- I went in my bag this morning to look for our household bank card. I hardly ever use it. Bank details are stored online for our grocery shopping and bills come out by direct debit. I think I last used it myself just before Christmas. Then remembered I gave Nanny the PIN number a few months ago when she was going out to do some last minute shopping before holiday.

Anyway I have contacted the bank who have said that there have been numerous cash withdrawals over the past few months- I have asked them to send me details to access my online banking but it sounds like over £1000 has been taken out of the account since November.

Have of course spoken to DP who hasn't done it.

AIBU to confront her?

You are very irresponsible though to give your PIN to anyone. You are unlikely to get much help from police or bank because technically you have given her permission to use your account freely.

awful for you! And awful for the cleaner, I can see why she quit now...

I would not confront (what good would that do? She'd deny, cover her tracks and would just be more careful about what she steals)

Contact police and ask them for advice. And contact the agency after that.

I think I would have sacked her after the £50 from your friend. That would have confirmed to me that the cleaner was probably telling the truth.

If money means to little to you then yes, YABU

Ridiculous.

Afraid from personal experience with Ex if you gave out your pin then you are fully liable. He used my credit cards to spend £30k without my knowledge before breaking off our engagement - even paid for flights to USA to see his OW on them. I took him to court and judge ruled the money was a 'gift' as he knew my pin i was giving him permission to access funds.

So awful as it is im afraid you may not get much joy recovering the money.

When you wrote that the cleaner quit after the conversation, I kinda thought its your nanny. Don't know why. But any way this is a police case obviously. What a shame

junosmum...the Nanny has been with them for under 2 years, so they can just fire her without reason.

If money means to little to you then yes, YABU - wait, so if someone is not constantly checking their bank accounts, then nanny is totally justified in helping herself to some of it?

call the police.

Also be aware that under employment law you can't just fire her- make sure you let her go legally and properly, so she can't sue you or anything.

Good advice but as she has been employed for under a year, sacking her is relatively straightforward. Hopefully, also, the OP has a contract that allows for immediate dismissal in the event of gross misconduct.

Yes you will be liable for the theft but really now it's about damage limitation and stopping it from happening again. It's theft even if you did give her the PIN on a previous occasion as you did not give permission for subsequent occasions.

the Nanny has been with them for under 2 years, so they can just fire her without reason. Say 9 months in the OP.

Also, you gave your Nanny the PIN to your account after 6 months in your employ? That is very very avoiding saying stupid naive.

You gave her the pin number, you wont have a leg to stand on.

Before you do anything else, I would get an exact statement of the withdrawls - where and when, and examine them carefully.

Police, as others have said.

Incredibly reckless to give our your PIN to her though. You've potentially shot yourself in the foot there. I'm not sure if it'll even be treated as a crime so to speak as you gave her your PIN through your own free will.

It's basically her word against yours.

Bloody hell shoe that's awful. Gobsmacked at the flights to OW. What a scumbag. I once bought a boyfriend a new suitcase so he could go on holiday with his mum. He met someone on said holiday and dumped me. I thought that was bad enough! (The waste of money on the suitcase. I was glad to get shot of the boyfriend.)

Is it possible that the card was copied? I dont know how easy that is to do but it might explain the multiple withdrawals. It just seems like such a dumb thing for the nanny to do. That said people can be remarkably silly.

Make sure your DP absolutely hasnt used the card before you speak with her because if have a modicum of concern that he might have used it then it will undermine you when you speak with her.

You won't get your money back because you gave her the pin.

You can still contact the police as you didn't give her permission.

Change your PIN number obviously.

Police

Don't let the fact that you gave her the PIN deter you from calling the police. You have independent witnesses of other thefts - your friend and the cleaner (who can at least confirm that you missed the money and asked them about it). The police need to know -otherwise her next job might be with a vulnerable elderly person or a child with SN and a personal care budget.

Struggling to get past the fact you have her your card and PIN tbh.

Yes you can contact the police but there is nothing they will be able to do.

In your case I'd get the card voided by the bank as a priority.

Then I'd fire the nanny without a reference and tell her any shit from her and you'll go to the police.

Next job is to ring the cleaner and apologise.

Then have a long think about how daft you have been tbh

call the police!!

Wasn't this the basis of the Nigella Lawson court case debacle: that she had in the past given her assistants permission to treat themselves at her expense so how were they to know they should ask first before buying designer shoes etc using her cards? The police may investigate but I don't think they would prosecute.

They absolutely do have CCTV at cash points, I had money taken from city centre cashpoint, the bank told me to call the police, they had the CCTV within an hour, turned out it was youngest brother, who thought I wouldn't notice, as soon as he heard I had CCTV of the cashpoint he came round immediately and confessed! And that was only 1 time for £50. Call the police!

It is naive to give your pin number to someone, yes, because there are always going to be the odd thief out there, but employers have done the same to me on numerous occasions. It doesn't take long at all in this type of situation to be treated like "part of the family" and trusted with all sorts of personal and sensitive stuff, including credit cards and pin numbers. I'm sure the OP has learnt her lesson on this by now. With experience - but thankfully not having had any suspicions or accusations directed at me - I've become less naive about the difficulty of being a member of staff and accepting pin numbers, not holding onto receipts despite never being asked for them etc.

toomuch tbh with what came out after the split he was that much of a shit it was worth the £30k debt in the end to be rid!! He married her in the end, sure they are very happy together! shes welcome to him!