To accuse nanny of being a thief?

[inanannypickle]

Nanny started with us 9 months ago. DD and DS absolutely adore her and will be devastated if we have to let her go. She is very good with them and helpful around the house etc. She is live in.

About six weeks after her starting we also got a new cleaner. About 3 weeks after the cleaner starting (so about 7 months ago) some money went missing out of my nightstand- £200 to be precise. DD and DS are too young to take it, DH wouldn't so after searching high and low for it for 2 days both DH and I had a sit down with our nanny and cleaner and explained we weren't angry and we were both willing to giving them another chance if the money was returned there and then. Both protested their innocence but cleaner texted me the next day saying she was quitting so we put it down to a guilty conscience and let it go.

Nanny has also been babysitting for a friend of ours once a week. Last week she contacted me to say £50 had gone missing out of her handbag while nanny was there and that she needed to have a word with her about it. So I sent Nanny round who protested her innocence to her and while friend said she would be unable to offer her anymore work decided to let it go. I didn't mention about the £200.

Anyway- I went in my bag this morning to look for our household bank card. I hardly ever use it. Bank details are stored online for our grocery shopping and bills come out by direct debit. I think I last used it myself just before Christmas. Then remembered I gave Nanny the PIN number a few months ago when she was going out to do some last minute shopping before holiday.

Anyway I have contacted the bank who have said that there have been numerous cash withdrawals over the past few months- I have asked them to send me details to access my online banking but it sounds like over £1000 has been taken out of the account since November.

Have of course spoken to DP who hasn't done it.

AIBU to confront her?

Nightstand is the archaic term for a bedside table. The question remains, why would you put £200 in a bedside table?

And I also stand by my view that you shouldn't dismiss a member of staff without going through a proper procedure as it may lay you open to expensive claims of unfair dismissal further down the line. Though I do take the point that as she has been employed for less than two years, the rules may be more relaxed. (Note to self: must check this out at some point!).

You appear to have very strong views on what the OP should do, for someone who - by her own admission - isn't aware of the basic rules around employment

Nightstand is the archaic term for a bedside table. The question remains, why would you put £200 in a bedside table

IT's not archaic, its a perfectly normal term. And she can put her 200 quid wherever she likes in her own house, and not expect it to be stolen.

Pretty sure the remark about the husband was lighthearted (for those who can't see a joke without a sign)

I would want to set up a camera and trap her in the act.

Well, I for one, would love to see the terms and conditions of the employment of both nanny and cleaner.

Don't see why it's so weird to have some spare cash in the house for emergencies, and to keep it in a place that you'd assume wouldn't be accessible by general through traffic - ie, nightstand, rather than kitchen cupboard.

Elendon you are blatantly trying to pick the op apart and not doing a very good job of it. Plenty of people say nightstand. As for keeping £200 in it, I've done so when I had a large amount of money for paying the plasterer doing my kitchen and study. Honestly, just because you don't do something doesn't make it weird!

I sometimes keep cash in the house, and if had someone else living in the house I would keep it in my bedroom. How you manage to speak to the police without the nanny being aware.

I'd be calling the police if it was me

Sorry but why on earth did you give her the PIN? All banks tell you not to do this. And especially after the £200 went missing.

Perchance I mistook. It does behove one to examine all the nooks and crannies.

Of course people can leave money around in their own home, either in a flagrant manner or not.

I've often observed, whilst purchasing groceries, people with large amounts of money in their wallets. And, despite being impoverished at said time, I've never had the inclination to follow said person and robb them in a Dickensian manner.

www.gov.uk/dismiss-staff/eligibility-to-claim-unfair-dismissal

Does this help you out a bit, Elendon? Not really sure why you are taking the OP apart.

Yes she shouldn't have given out her PIN number, but that doesn't give anyone the right to steal from her. I doubt it's a mistake she'll make again.

I don't think you should sack her before the police have checked cctv.
All signs point to her but what if it isn't? In the meantime check jewellery etc. I guess you will see her reaction when the police arrive.

In any case, there is no way I could live in the same house as someone who was stealing. There is no excuse for what she has done but please be more careful in the future.

Presumably, though, with regard to the bank account, the nanny will just say that all were purchases for the children: £1000 over 4 months is what? About £80 a week, which she could easily say she spent on a couple of big 'last minute pre-xmas shopping' purchases, plus weekly coffee/cakes, entrance fees, over the past four months etc. Which may or may not be true, but isn't outside the bounds of probability if you didn't ask her for receipts. As far as that goes, I think all you can do is ask for all receipts in the future and see if it changes the pattern of withdrawals.

The £200 missing from the house is a different kettle of fish, though.

Surely if there is cctv of the nanny steeling from their bank account that would be gross misconduct, I'm sure the only legal procedure when someone has stolen from you is to get proof then dismiss immediately.

I actually have a safe, a cheap one that I keep in my bedside table. The PIN number to it is in my head, and on my phone, which is encrypted - along with everything else.

This thread is so weird, I feel I've crossed a timeline.

Hey ho, carry on folks!

Why is it weird, Elendon? You don't seem to understand quite simple things, such as why a person might want to put money in their bedside table. You want to see the terms and conditions of the job, but there isn't a job in the world that you can insist on keeping if you're found to be stealing from your employer. You seem hostile to the OP - why? She's had her money stolen from her by someone she trusted. Surely sympathy is more appropriate?

Has the employer been charged with stealing and found guilty?

Employee.

If I had a need for a largeish stash of cash, I'd keep it in my nightstand. Have done before and doubtless shall again.

Did the op actually say "I sat nanny and cleaner down together ...."? or did she just say that she had spoken to each of them?

I keep £100 in my knicker drawer. For the unexpected times you need cash.

Presumably (if it is the nanny) she was aware that the OP dropped her investigation of the missing money when the cleaner left and assumed she was off the hook. She probably then made a withdrawal to see if the OP spotted it and as the OP doesn't monitor the account closely decided that it was safe to dip into it - and must be aware that as the OP gave her the pin number she could claim that the OP had given her permission to use it.

I've got Euro 175 ish in my knicker drawer, left over from our last holiday a couple of years ago. Another £180 cash in my bedside drawer (DM gives me money for birthdays and I've not spent it yet - plus bits I've added myself) and on top of my bedside drawer is around £350 that I need to put into our business account - that's been there a week.

Doesn't mean I don't care about it or need it. It just means I don't expect it to go missing by persons trusted to be in my home!!

What a dreadful situation. Have the police been yet? I would feel so violated.