To accuse nanny of being a thief?

[inanannypickle]

Nanny started with us 9 months ago. DD and DS absolutely adore her and will be devastated if we have to let her go. She is very good with them and helpful around the house etc. She is live in.

About six weeks after her starting we also got a new cleaner. About 3 weeks after the cleaner starting (so about 7 months ago) some money went missing out of my nightstand- £200 to be precise. DD and DS are too young to take it, DH wouldn't so after searching high and low for it for 2 days both DH and I had a sit down with our nanny and cleaner and explained we weren't angry and we were both willing to giving them another chance if the money was returned there and then. Both protested their innocence but cleaner texted me the next day saying she was quitting so we put it down to a guilty conscience and let it go.

Nanny has also been babysitting for a friend of ours once a week. Last week she contacted me to say £50 had gone missing out of her handbag while nanny was there and that she needed to have a word with her about it. So I sent Nanny round who protested her innocence to her and while friend said she would be unable to offer her anymore work decided to let it go. I didn't mention about the £200.

Anyway- I went in my bag this morning to look for our household bank card. I hardly ever use it. Bank details are stored online for our grocery shopping and bills come out by direct debit. I think I last used it myself just before Christmas. Then remembered I gave Nanny the PIN number a few months ago when she was going out to do some last minute shopping before holiday.

Anyway I have contacted the bank who have said that there have been numerous cash withdrawals over the past few months- I have asked them to send me details to access my online banking but it sounds like over £1000 has been taken out of the account since November.

Have of course spoken to DP who hasn't done it.

AIBU to confront her?

[ChristmasEvePJs]

Hope you have called the police already.

[Trufflethewuffle]

Get the cctv first. Then if that shows it is her, deduct the "salary advances" from her final wages.

[Abed]

The bank will not just hand over CCTV.

[Trufflethewuffle]

Report to police is what I meant, sorry, skipped a step!

[LifeofI]

as everyone else has said police first so they can check cctv ect and tell them you dont know who it is and dont want to accuse anyone then they wont arrest anyone until there is proof.
Im sorry for your cleaner she must of thought everyone thought it was her due to the nanny being there so long and sorry for you op i know its hard when you trust someone with your home and they abuse it.
Hope everything works out.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

FFS call the police woman!!!!

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

TwitterQueen I missed your post until others highlighted it. You can't be for real? Bitterness isn't nice.

[LoveBoursin]

You gave her the PIN for your card so I suspect that there isn't a lot you can do about it.

You also didn't realise for a very long time that withdrawals have been made wo your knowledge. I'm not surprised she carried on.

Tbh I think you have been very naive.
Yes it looks like she is a thief and yes you should replace her, even if she is that good with the dcs.

[Trufflethewuffle]

Did she repeatedly take the card from where you keep it or did she not return it after the initial use which you authorised?

[Groovee]

I'd call the police.

[ImperialBlether]

LifeOfI, the nanny only started there 9 weeks before the first theft was discovered.

[inanannypickle]

Thank you all for the advice so far. Called 101 and someone will be coming round this evening to take a statement from me and DP.

Does anyone know how things will work out with her living in? I don't want her damaging my property/causing an atmosphere. Luckily with me being self employed I can look after DC from tomorrow.

[Mumofsophie]

I don't know if your nanny is a thief or not. It is horrible that someone seems to have been stealing from you and I definitely think you should report the matter to the police and let them catch the culprit.

But, tbh (and not saying you deserved to be stolen from in any way), I think you were totally daft to give anyone else the PIN to your debit card and you generally sound like a nightmare employer. ("Had a sit down with nanny and cleaner"... (the idea of you sitting down with them both together to find out which one was the thief is quite astonishing); "So I sent Nanny round ..." (smacks of "Upstairs, Downstairs" with no idea of how actually to deal with staff) etc.

If you are in the UK, I think you had better mug up on employment law on dismissal to make sure you handle the next stage of this saga better than the previous stages!

[laurierf]

Nanny trusted to be with the most precious thing of all - the kids - every day for a couple of months. Cleaner had 3 weeks there (so maybe 6 one-off visits to the house) before being sat down and told it was either her or the nanny who'd taken the money... of course the cleaner would have felt that the weight of suspicion was on her shoulders.

[Fifi10]

If you contact the bank they can tell you when and where (which cashpoint) the withdrawals were made from, if this isn't displayed on your bank statements. Might be handy to have these before the police come round so that they can begin to identify who (nanny!) may have been able to go to the cashpoint at these times.

I wouldn't say anything to the nanny just yet, she'll only start covering her tracks if she's guilty as the way you describe her makes her sound like a compulsive liar.

[ImperialBlether]

Mumofsophie, I don't think you need much knowledge of employment law to know that if someone's only been with you 9 months and works in your house and steals from you, then you don't have to worry about sacking them!

[firesidechat]

If she has indeed stolen your money and you know this for a fact then you can ask her to leave immediately. No way would anyone expect you to house someone who has stolen from you.

You have invalidated any protection from the bank by giving her your pin number. Don't expect to get any money back.

[squoosh]

'you generally sound like a nightmare employer'

What bullshit.

A sit down with the nanny and the cleaner when it was noticed that money had been stolen doesn't sound at all nightmarish. Or maybe the nightmarish part was where they said they'd say no more about if the money was returned?

[firesidechat]

You can give someone the sack within 2 years of them starting their employment. You don't even have to have a reason.

[KERALA1]

Twitterqueen comment hilarious - by that daft logic theft is fine as long as its from a rich person. Riiiight

[gonegrey56]

What else might have gone missing ? Do you keep all your jewellery locked away ? What about bank statements etc, other credit cards? Sorry, but you have to assume this may not be limited to cash or card withdrawals from one account . You need to swing into damage limitation mode ....

[Twitterqueen]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear... my obviously rather weak attempt at sarcastic humour has clearly failed miserably.

I have little sympathy with the fact that you can apparently afford to 'lose' £1,000 out of your bank without actually noticing, and that £200 is also easily dismissable. If money means to little to you..

Lighten up people - take a moment to reflect before sticking the knife in.... Not everything on here is gospel you know - really.

[ActLikeYouKnow]

I think it was incredibly thoughtless to give your PIN to your Nanny - purely because if she took money out (which she most likely has), you haven't got a leg to stand on.

For a repetitive thief, it seems rather silly to keep taking money from a family and someone the family is close to. Very odd indeed.

You need to be 100% sure before you confront her though. I say that becasue if there is the slightest possibility that she didn't do it and she's a good Nanny like you claim, she mightn't take kindly to being accused wrongly twice.


If I were you, I would look into it a bit more before contacting the police. You don't seem to have much hard evidence, or reason, apart from the only person you think could have done it. Look at the statements, see where the money is being paid to. What is it for? What date and at what time?

All of these questions can be answered by some simple research.

[Abed]

How was your comment sarcastic Twitter? You have previos for making goady and uninformed posts.

[BertrandRussell]

"When you wrote that the cleaner quit after the conversation, I kinda thought its your nanny. Don't know why."

Some people are just so intuitive......