To accuse nanny of being a thief?

[inanannypickle]

Nanny started with us 9 months ago. DD and DS absolutely adore her and will be devastated if we have to let her go. She is very good with them and helpful around the house etc. She is live in.

About six weeks after her starting we also got a new cleaner. About 3 weeks after the cleaner starting (so about 7 months ago) some money went missing out of my nightstand- £200 to be precise. DD and DS are too young to take it, DH wouldn't so after searching high and low for it for 2 days both DH and I had a sit down with our nanny and cleaner and explained we weren't angry and we were both willing to giving them another chance if the money was returned there and then. Both protested their innocence but cleaner texted me the next day saying she was quitting so we put it down to a guilty conscience and let it go.

Nanny has also been babysitting for a friend of ours once a week. Last week she contacted me to say £50 had gone missing out of her handbag while nanny was there and that she needed to have a word with her about it. So I sent Nanny round who protested her innocence to her and while friend said she would be unable to offer her anymore work decided to let it go. I didn't mention about the £200.

Anyway- I went in my bag this morning to look for our household bank card. I hardly ever use it. Bank details are stored online for our grocery shopping and bills come out by direct debit. I think I last used it myself just before Christmas. Then remembered I gave Nanny the PIN number a few months ago when she was going out to do some last minute shopping before holiday.

Anyway I have contacted the bank who have said that there have been numerous cash withdrawals over the past few months- I have asked them to send me details to access my online banking but it sounds like over £1000 has been taken out of the account since November.

Have of course spoken to DP who hasn't done it.

AIBU to confront her?

One of the nicer features of contactless, is you can allow use of your card for small purchases, without revealing the PIN. Where shops take contactless, obviously.

Oh, and advice to anyone reading this who lets other people have sight of their card. Memorise, then obliterate (I used a soldering iron) the last 3 digits on the signature strip. They are only ever needed for Cardholder Not Present transactions (i.e phone/internet). It's quite possible (not saying it has actually happened) that the nanny could have copied those details and ordered herself goodness knows what online. Particularly if the OP didn't spot the odd transaction going through.

I am sure that the OP knows she won't get her money back, so whether she ought to have given her PIN out is largely irrelevant.

However, she has had a crime committed against her, regardless of anything else. Which isn't her fault. Full stop.

As I said above, I was stupid to leave my bag in my car, albeit hidden, but it didn't give someone the right to smash the window and take it.

Igobackyears not that I don't believe everything the OP is saying, but since you have brought it up and this is the internet, are you really being wise by asking for a name?

What if there isn't a shread of truth to the thread, someone gives a name and some poor girl/woman's work is effected forever more?

It makes no sense.

Because you gave her your pin the bank will not reimburse the withdrawals.
Cut your losses , sack her and be more careful !

Yikes! I hope the police prosecute.

August... Gabilan sums it up nicely with this -

it's not a question of how much you trust the person you're giving the number to, it's that you invalidate the conditions of the card. Banks are quite explicit - you do not give the PIN to anyone

I don't think Police, the Bank or whoever will look upon giving out the PIN at all as sensible use of an account. I've never heard of it being acceptable practice to give out a PIN for a stipulated amount of time or for a particular purpose for the very reason as to why this thread is in existence!

Of course it isn't sensible to give out your PIN, and it breaches the banks terms and conditions to give it out even just for one transaction. Nevertheless, I bet many people do it - I've certainly given mine to my DH to draw money out for me when I couldn't get to a cash machine, and it was clear to all concerned that I intended him to use it for that one occasion only.

However, the consequence of breaching the bank's terms, as previously stated, is that the bank doesn't have to refund the account holder. It still doesn't change the fact that unauthorised use of the PIN to take money out of someone's account without permission is a criminal offence.

just seen this and yes ive rtft and sorry to find it was the nanny :(

ive been a nanny for 25yrs and in every job i have been given either a credit card or the employers pin to get money if i need it for childrens activities/entrances etc

if you employ someone to trust them to look after your children, you also trust them to look after your home/cars and if need be money

in the end you can replace cars/homes etc - you cant replace your child

so dont feel bad you gave her the details and pin, it happens alot - even tho mn think you were insane, those with nannies or who are a nanny dont :)

the nanny was stupid

you should take it further if nothing else to stop her from doing this again and it will show up on her dbs so will find it hard to get another job

if you hot her through an agency tell them, if through the childcare site then tell richard.

regards your children, they are resilient and will adapt to having a new nanny :)

good luck with your search and most nannies are honest

The nanny has admitted to the police that she has stolen over a thousand pounds (from two different people) and the police are willing to let her walk away from the situation, scot-free, on your say so?!?!

I find that really difficult to understand or even believe, inanannypickle.

eh?

which thread are you reading ADish? Last i saw the police were coming to take statements.

oh, nm, i saw it now,

i have adblock jumpy screen and missed that one!

Surely the police cannot do anything unless the OP presses charges anyway?

I think it's a bit shitty of you to let her get away with this because you can't deal with the stress. She will do this to someone else, she isn't going to just stop!

Won't she just do this to her next family if you don't press charges?

"Surely the police cannot do anything unless the OP presses charges anyway?"

If that were the case the police could never make an arrest unless the victim of the crime pressed charges! Imagine ... there could be no such thing as murder.

The police do not need OP's consent to press charges. They simply need to know a crime has been allegedly committed, and to have evidence that the alleged perpetrator of the crime committed it.

In this case they not only know the theft took place, but the thief has admitted committing the offense(s). Nor are we talking about a tee-shirt lifted from a shop ... we are talking about well over a thousand pounds, stolen from two different people.

So OP reported the crime, the thief has admitted to it, but the police have decided to turn a blind eye to the crime, on OP's say-so.

I find that really hard to believe. If the nanny was 16 years old and had taken a tenner from her boss' purse ... perhaps ... but as OP describes it. No.

This isn't the USA.

Police put a case together and pass it to the CPS who will then decide whether or not to take it forward to prosecution. Many factors come in to play at this point, whether it's in the public's interest; evidence available; type of crime; victims' statement etc.

If I had a quid for every time I've said this on MN. TV has a lot to answer for!!