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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset at my DS 4's school

315 replies

MrsBB1982 · 21/01/2016 21:16

So please bear with me. I think some background is useful.

DS is 4 and started reception in September. He's not a natural 'concentrator'. Academically he's above average but just struggles to sit down for any length of time. His school already expect him to sit down for classes the whole day...double maths then double english then double geography for example.

We've been told his behaviour an issue. He got sent to the headmaster on Thursday and Friday. His form teacher wasn't with him so it was just him and the head.

Since then he keeps saying 'I might have to leave the school and me er see my friends again'. He's now becoming g withdrawn and doesn't want to go to school

He's a loving, kind and sweet natured lad. He's born at the end of August so very young in his class. DH and I know he's not perfect. Like I said concentration has always been an issue although he can finish tasks. He's a fidgety energetic lad. He can be hot headed and we describe him as a 'reactor' in that he tends to react to a situation before thinking through.

If you're still with me! My question is AIBU in thinking going to the headmaster two days in a row for poor concentration/fidgeting/talking (confirmed as the reason by his teacher ) on his own an being threatened with having to leave the school is heavy handed. He's not been lashing out or anything physical.

We haven't been consulted about this. We only know because DS mentioned it. Or does he really have a problem?

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 23/04/2016 20:07

Brilliant news! So glad for him. I took DS out of his first school, HEd him for a few months then started him at another ... that was a long day, waiting to see how it worked out.... but he has never looked back

allegretto · 23/04/2016 20:09

My six year olds don't have "proper" lessons, just learning through play. I certainly wouldn't be paying for this type of approach that sounds really heavy-handed and counterproductive.

Original poster
MrsBB1982 · 23/04/2016 20:14

teacherwith2kids I know what you mean. Waiting to hear how his day went felt like a lifetime!

OP posts:
AugustaFinkNottle · 23/04/2016 20:26

Good grief, what a crap school. Aren't the parents of the children who are still there worried that the same could happen to their children? So glad your child has escaped successfully.

sleeponeday · 23/04/2016 21:28

Oh OP. Flowers your poor DS, and poor you.

There is a stack of evidence a mile high that children this age learn best through play, anyway. What a horrible, and deeply misguided place it sounds.

MeDownSouth · 23/04/2016 21:34

Glad it all worked out MrsBB. Did you contact SadWidow about her talking to Ofsted? (just being nosey but would be happy to hear the HT didn't get away with being mean to LOs)

amarmai · 23/04/2016 22:01

poor child. As you may be moving this is your opportunity to find a child based learning school. He sounds depressed and scared. cd he go to his old nursery until you find him a humane school?

Primaryteach87 · 23/04/2016 22:12

Gosh! I don't know many reception children who could cope with that sort of timetable. It's very poor practice, they aren't exempt from the EYFS so I would be really questioning how they are fulfilling that.

When you move, look for somewhere state or private that has more active learning and more outdoors/EYFS style.

Primaryteach87 · 23/04/2016 22:15

Just seen he is now in a new school and much happier. Great news! Feel for the children 'left behind' in that crazy regime though.

JerryFerry · 23/04/2016 22:16

PHEW I could barely breathe reading the first part of the thread, just horrifying. If a 4yo is being sent to the head for "being naughty", being expectd to sit still for long periods of time, coming home sad and his parents are sad, something is massively wrong - and it's not the child. What an absolutely awful school.

Thank goodness your little boy has such lovely parents. Well done for getting him out of there so quickly and for handling it so sensitively. With parents like you he is going to do very well.

GraysAnalogy · 23/04/2016 23:05

When I was 5 at school I was playing with stickle bricks, having story time, doing numbers for a bit, doing words for a bit, playing in the sand, more number time..

That timetable just Shock me.

GraysAnalogy · 23/04/2016 23:06

Amazing update. Very pleased for you

OptimisticSix · 24/04/2016 01:23

He's four! I feel so sorry for him, specially because he's an August baby, one of mine is right at the end of August and she still seems quite immature compared to friends, luckily academically she's not behind... Anyway I would rethink the schooling, yes big schools can be intimidating but I went to a tiny school and got a horrid shock at Senior level, so put my children in the largest local primary I could find. There are three full reception classes at ours and the children can go and play in whichever class they want during most of the day and as long as they complete the "star" activity can do any of the other activities available. My children have loved it and done so well with this system which has given them freedom and confidence... Of course I detest the manic crazy busy school runs but that's me :)

OptimisticSix · 24/04/2016 01:24

Oops just read the whole thread, sorry, so pleased for you and your little one :)

conkerpods · 24/04/2016 01:45

Glad to read your boy is thriving once more OP.

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