Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU unreasonable to just want a simple and inexpensive engagement ring

133 replies

OnADarkDesertHighway · 15/01/2016 15:17

DP and I have just got engaged. I'm beyond thrilled and we are going to choose my engagement ring tomorrow.

I do not wear rings and like subtle rather than bling jewellery. I just want a simple ring with a small stone that does not cost a fucking fortune.

When I have said this I have had a couple of comments from work colleagues and others insinuating I should expect a great big rock costing thousands. One suggested if I get a simple inexpensive ring it sends out a statement and I should want some flash rock I can show off.

Why? I do not get it. My ring, my choice. I would not fucking dream of telling anyone the sort of ring they should have. Is this normal?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
MrsRobot · 15/01/2016 15:21

YANBU, your ring, your relationship, your choice.
Tell to mind their own business!

LadyLuck81 · 15/01/2016 15:22

Get what makes you happy and would mean the most to you and your DFiance. Did everyone else. And congratulations.

MamaLazarou · 15/01/2016 15:23

Get whatever you like! I didn't (and don't) have an engagement ring - it doesn't mean my DH doesn't love me!

Congratulations Flowers

Runningupthathill82 · 15/01/2016 15:25

YANBU. I didn't even have an engagement ring, and didn't give a toss what anyone else thought. Just didn't see the point!
Do exactly what you want, whether that's a simple and subtle ring, a massive blingy rock, or indeed no ring at all.

Smartiepants79 · 15/01/2016 15:25

Have what makes you happy, if you love it that's all that is important. Anyone suggesting otherwise if vulgar and rude.
If you'd just turned up with it on your finger they'd all have been cooing over how pretty it was! No one else's opinion matters.

Sukkii25 · 15/01/2016 15:29

Get what you want, small and understated is very classy. Congratulations Flowers

chelle792 · 15/01/2016 15:35

You should definitely get what you want. Big diamonds are just a marketing ploy.
This is my engagement ring and I love it. Only problem is I couldn't find a wedding ring to fit it so its on my right hand now

AIBU unreasonable to just want a simple and inexpensive engagement ring
MotherKat · 15/01/2016 15:36

Congratulations.
We weren't going to do rings, but I got so much stick we went and got the biggest rock we could afford, it's beautiful but drives me mental half the time.and we only just had our second wedding anniversary.

WeAllHaveWings · 15/01/2016 15:39

You are going to be wearing this ring every day for the rest of your life, at work, doing the housework, changing nappies, cooking, DIY, doing hobbies, wiping snotty noses, dressing dc, etc etc

Simple and classy is the way to go. Once the wow factor wears off the flash rock it becomes a pain in the arse to wear.

liz70 · 15/01/2016 15:44

My engagement ring is a 9 carat gold cubic zirconia job costing a tenner from Elizabeth Duke! Grin So I'd definitely say you're not being U! Smile

originalmavis · 15/01/2016 15:46

I got an emerald one. I love emeralds. Mums hid it well 'oooh, its a..... Emerald'.

NeedsAMousekatool · 15/01/2016 15:47

My engagement ring cost $25 from a jewellery stand in Miami airport. My mother yapped and yapped for ages about me getting a 'proper' ring. In the end I had to warn her we would be falling out if she didn't drop the subject.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/01/2016 15:49

It's a 'trend' to have huge rings .. Not great for every day wear!! Try some on and see what you like. Some people talk too much!!

flowery · 15/01/2016 15:49

"One suggested if I get a simple inexpensive ring it sends out a statement"

I'm intrigued. What statement does he/she think you'd be sending out? Confused

MaxPepsi · 15/01/2016 15:49

Congratulations Smile

I do not have a classic engagement ring, I wanted a different stone to a diamond and I also wanted it in Silver, not white gold or platinum etc.

I had mine made for me in the end. But I got some comments from a couple of people about how 'wrong' it was. I just smiled sweetly and told them my taste was better different to theirs and I was more than happy with it.

Several years later, it's me who gets the continuing compliments on my frankly gorgeous ring. My friends get no comments at all, as they have either a very generic ring, or stopped wearing theirs because the stone is to big/gets in the way/doesn't fit etc etc

Chelle You should be able to get a ring made to fit in with your lovely ring

randomsabreuse · 15/01/2016 15:51

I gave my DH a max size when we chose the ring. 0.33 carat princess cut. Bugger would have looked wrong on my fingers and not been to my taste. Far better a ring you love to wear than a rock that annoys you.

Lots of my friends went down the antique route - several non diamonds as well - it's all about what you and your partner want - the rest of tthe world are irrelevant!

PedantPending · 15/01/2016 15:54

Do you have to have a ring?

SirChenjin · 15/01/2016 15:55

YANBU.

My engagement ring is my great grandmother's that we had redesigned for about £200. The stones are small but it's unique and I love it Smile. DH bought me a big rock for Christmas which I also love, but my engagement ring is very, very special - and certainly isn't/wasn't a mark of how much DH loves/loved me. Far too much emphasis on 'things' imo - big ring, big wedding, big honeymoon.

Katiepoes · 15/01/2016 15:55

Mine is teeny tiny, I love it. One rude witch at work said 'oh I guess he shows his love in other ways I suppose' - yes love by not buying rocks that men die for and pay for the likes of Charles Taylor.

Everyone that knows me well knows it's exactly my own taste, made even better by the fact that he picked it himself.

Pick the one you want - it's you that has to wear it.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/01/2016 15:57

Hahaha, I had this. Wanted a flush ring that didn't get caught in my pocket, didn't want to spend a fortune. Got a gorgeous palladium one from an independent jewellers in London, tiny diamond, lightweight, perfect. Showed it to colleagues in office... Long silence. After 30 seconds I said "I wanted a small diamond" and they said it was lovely, but I will never forget their first reaction (but I knew they were jerks already).

clippityclop · 15/01/2016 15:57

Smile and ignore these rude people and have what makes you happy! Real friends would be pleased whatever you decide.

Dolly80 · 15/01/2016 16:00

Congratulations. I'd ignore what other people say, just buy the ring you like whatever your budget. This is mine and it cost me £89.99 from H Samuel 3yrs ago. It's now on sale for £44.99 if anyone's after a bargain Grin

We're getting married in September and I have no plans to spend a fortune on a wedding ring either, just pick something reasonably priced that of like to look at every day (and prob wear engagement ring on other hand)

AIBU unreasonable to just want a simple and inexpensive engagement ring
OneEpisode · 15/01/2016 16:00

I've not worn my engagement ring for 24 years. I only wore it a few times. I do wear a plain wedding band and so does dh. I don't need a price tag on my hand.

thebestfurchinchilla · 15/01/2016 16:02

How refreshing. Congratulations. I have heard those comments from other women, who in a later breath complain that they're not treated equally Hmm I love antique rings. The mark up on new jewellery is huge so you get much better value for an old ring.

Krampus · 15/01/2016 16:02

Congrats and yanbu Smile

Mine was a relatively cheap half eternity ring, it only cost a few hundred, this has turned out to be a practical every day ring.

Get what ring you want, I wish I'd gone for saphire or emerald in retrospect. After the wedding no one cares about the ring on your finger.