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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not get why strangers can't leave my child alone

267 replies

sellisx · 14/01/2016 16:11

In the supermarket today, my little boy was having a tantrum, I usually laugh and walk off but at least four people tried to coax him back to me. Two people picked him up then complained they got hurt because he threw himself backwards.
WHY don't they leave him be!!!
In a cafe one time,I left him at the table while I went to get napkins, by the time I came back somebody was feeding him chips "because he was making noise" what if he had an allergy? Angry

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 16:13

Two people picked him up then complained they got hurt

by the time I came back somebody was feeding him chips

WTAF? What is wrong with people?

Janeymoo50 · 14/01/2016 16:14

I think the answer is because you laugh and walk off!!!!!

Nabootique · 14/01/2016 16:15

I was expecting to come in hear and see griping about hair ruffling or cheek pinching, but this is ridiculous! Totally not acceptable.

Nabootique · 14/01/2016 16:15

I've walked off when DD has had tantrums Confused I thought everyone had at some point. Not gone very far away, of course.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 14/01/2016 16:16

If you keep on walking away from your child in public, especially in the likes of supermarkets, then people will get involved.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 16:16

I think the answer is because you laugh and walk off!!!!!

I wouldn't interfere in someone trying to parent. I certainly wouldn't pick up their child - do they really think being picked up by a total stranger is going to calm them down?!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 16:17

I doubt OP is fucking off 4 aisles down. I'd wager she's always in sight of said child.

Original poster
sellisx · 14/01/2016 16:17

Oh yeah he is always in sight when I walk off. It's easier than going bright red and trying to wrestle him to the checkouts.
Obviously if he was in people's way but he wasn't. I'd never try and pick somebody else's child up when they are mid tantrum, you just don't Confused

OP posts:
Sunnybitch · 14/01/2016 16:18

I'd just say 'can you leave him be please! We all have to learn we can't get our own way all the time, thanks'

MrsRaegan · 14/01/2016 16:18

Well to be fair they may not have seen you walk off. Maybe they just see a child without an adult, who is upset?

PastaLaFeasta · 14/01/2016 16:18

People always think they know better. But you know your child best so it's foolish of them to think otherwise. Although occasionally I've found a stranger talking to my DD would embarrass her and make her quiet or stop what she was doing. Picking up a child is stepping well over the mark however.

TheCatsMeow · 14/01/2016 16:19

Obviously because you walk off

Chillyegg · 14/01/2016 16:21

What did you say to the person feeding your child chips?
I personally would also be wary about picking up another persons child unless of course injured or in danger.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 16:21

Well to be fair they may not have seen you walk off. Maybe they just see a child without an adult, who is upset?

You don't PICK THEM UP. You try talking to them, you flag down a member of staff to make a tannoy announcement, you look around and ask if this is anybody's little boy.

Common sense, people!

lostInTheWash · 14/01/2016 16:22

YANBU.

I found this annoying as well - as I found walking off a bit and waiting with them in full view worked to get them moving as they decided they wanted to. I did try other things before trying this.

A few times helpful people interfered - making it all a longer process.

Never had anyone pick up my child - I don't think mine would have let them.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/01/2016 16:22

Honestly, even a CALM child might flip out at being picked up by a total stranger, who would risk that?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 14/01/2016 16:23

Laughing and walking off is fine imo. Best way to calm a child that is testing boundaries.
What do they want you to do? Anxiously handhold your child while waiting out a simple tantrum? Fantastic lesson....

ifgrandmahadawilly · 14/01/2016 16:25

Yanbu. That's bizarre.

PastaLaFeasta · 14/01/2016 16:25

Are you or do you appear young? I suspect people are more likely to make comments or get involved if you seem young. I just can't imagine people do this to grandparents for example. Unless they really didn't see the adult in charge.

abbsismyhero · 14/01/2016 16:25

mine runs away from strangers shouting nonononono or holds up his arms to be be picked up

hellsbellsmelons · 14/01/2016 16:26

I walked off and left my DD when she had a tantrum.
She didn't do it often.

My poor DSis was out shopping with her when she was little so she tried it on with her.
She had to call me to ask what to do.
I told her to walk away.
Worked for my DD, no doubt!

Original poster
sellisx · 14/01/2016 16:27

I guess I'm just so shocked, I've never had anybody try and pick him up before them I felt bad when they got hurt. Because mid tantrum he will throw himself about so even I know not to pick him up.
I didn't say anything to the lady feeding him chips, I was just horrified. She looked at me as if it was a perfectly normal thing to be doing.
I walked off to the checkout, pushing the pram and checking back every so often, it should have been clear I was his mother, infact it must have been because one person was saying go back to mummy mum is over there

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 14/01/2016 16:28

How old is he?

Original poster
sellisx · 14/01/2016 16:29

Yeah I get told I look 12-14 years old so maybe that's why, but I didn't have my embarrassed face on like I usually do Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
sellisx · 14/01/2016 16:30

19 months tomorrow

OP posts:
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