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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks im stingy re kids gifts. im hurt.

140 replies

SeasonalVag · 22/12/2015 08:47

I excitedly showed my husband what I've bought our kids last night and he called me stingy. I was really annoyed and hurt as I think I've got enough, and they're nice presents too! I genuinely think he's being an arse.

My five year old is getting a Child's tablet, which I reluctantly bought but know will help with literacy etc. I think this is a massive present?

Roald dahl boxed collection which I KNOW he'll love, plus the usual Lego, annuals, dvds, stationery set, and a chocolate coin maker which he's been nagging me for ages. (Plus a ck jumper from tkmaxx which I love).

DH reckons he got sacks of stuff, but we didn't gets loads although my parents had the money, they just were sensible. I asked for a pair of trainers and more perfume, I don't need or want anything more.

I've told him I'm not buying any more and if he wants to go racing around toysrus or whatever, that's his problem.

So...am I a tightarse?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 22/12/2015 08:50

Not at all! Your DH is being unreasonable and a twat

AuntieStella · 22/12/2015 08:51
  1. your DH should have taken an active role in planning the presents from much earlier on
  2. it's unfair to do nothing, but then criticise someone else for not being a deep-pocketed mind-reader
  3. tell him he had 2 days to sort out any additional presents and to wrap them
  4. tell him (nicely, as solution not flounce) that it'll be his to sort out in future years
Pobspits · 22/12/2015 08:51

Sounds like a good amount. He could always have bought more, and still cohld, if he's that bloody bothered.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 22/12/2015 08:51

That sounds fine! One of those is a tablet fgs!

You will seriously regret the chocolate coin maker though.

If your DH thinks your DS should have more then he can go out, buy them AND wrap them. And then watch as it all gets ignored 'cause he's got a tablet and Lego.

charlestonchaplin · 22/12/2015 08:52

What has he bought them?

pictish · 22/12/2015 08:53

No you're not! That sounds about right to me!

pictish · 22/12/2015 08:53

Plus...a tablet! That's a biggie!

UterusUterusGhali · 22/12/2015 08:53

YADNBU.

That is plenty. They get overwhelmed with too much.

I've seen a thing on arsebook that suggests buying "something they want, something they need, something to wear & something to read" which, despite being twee as fuck, seems a good rule of thumb.

TheJiminyConjecture · 22/12/2015 08:53

I never understand this. Every year there's threads like this where someone gets their feelings hurt over Christmas prep by someone who has made no effort at all.

Tell him if he's so bothered he can organise everything next year!

Only1scoop · 22/12/2015 08:55

Why isn't he involved in buying their gifts?

I've also bought my 5 yo a kindle fire first kids tablet and RD box set and a scooby doo Lego set....So hopefully great minds think alike Op Wink

I think it sounds lovely. DC will probably have gifts from relatives also I'm guessing.

merrymouse · 22/12/2015 08:55

No you are not a tightarse and that sounds plenty.

Nobody needs sacks of stuff.

More importantly, why on earth is he commenting on what you have bought on 21st December? He might think you are a tightarse, but apparently he hasn't bothered to buy anything and is, without question, acting like a complete arse.

Original poster
SeasonalVag · 22/12/2015 08:55

Thank you. I was really upset last night. This morning, I'm feeling more of a "Fuck you" vibe.

He's got them nothing. I've done every thing but I dint mind as I love preparing for Xmas and I dont work, whereas he has v little spare time.

OP posts:
hesterton · 22/12/2015 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IJustLostTheGame · 22/12/2015 08:56

Yanbu.
Sounds like a good haul to me.

pictish · 22/12/2015 08:56

If your DH thinks your DS should have more then he can go out, buy them AND wrap them. And then watch as it all gets ignored 'cause he's got a tablet and Lego.

And this! Toys for the sake of it are a waste of money in my experience. They don't get played with.

Your dh is being very infantile actually.

Original poster
SeasonalVag · 22/12/2015 08:58

Oh no husband is off into town to augment my poor selection . I'll be at home watching a movie in the warmth.

OP posts:
VintageDresses · 22/12/2015 08:59

Apart from the fact that dh is an idiot with no right to an opinion if he hasnt made any effort himself, every single year I've worried that I havn't bought enough and every year, on the day, I realise I should have done less. There's only so many things they can open before they're bored.

BiddyPop · 22/12/2015 08:59

YANBU

That sounds like a nice pile without going overboard, having to get into debt, and deal with clutter over the next few months.

Nice book set, things to play with, something he has been looking for....

A perfect mix!!

Orda1 · 22/12/2015 08:59

Sounds amazing to me!

I do al, our shopping (no children) and I'd be really upset if he passed comment like that.

Speederman · 22/12/2015 09:00

So he's got them nothing because he works?

So do millions of other parents. They all manage.

If he wants Christmas done a particular way then he needs to pull his finger out and do it.

I tend to drive Christmas because I'm thinking about presents from September but I always talk ideas over with DH and whoever is nearest the shop or available at whatever time goes and gets it.

RebootYourEngine · 22/12/2015 09:00

So your dh wants to waste money on things that your ds doesnt really want or need for what?

What you have bought is enough. And i agree with Milk everything will get ignored apart from the tablet and lego.

If your dh is just looking to spend money for the sake of it i will have a new car Grin

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 22/12/2015 09:01

YANBU....

What is the value in just spending... Unless you are mega rich...likes as not you have to pay to ff a huge credit card balance in Jan... which is a five week month. Do the children actually "need" anything?

Is DH trying to spend his way round not spending time with the children?

Orda1 · 22/12/2015 09:01

Maybe your husband is talking about gifts from other family members too. They tend to make it look loads more.

MrsJayy · 22/12/2015 09:03

Let him get on with it he is being an arse though. My dds have 4/5 presents but there is mobile phones and an expensive torch for dds work it looks nowt but cost ££s

VintageDresses · 22/12/2015 09:04

Yes Orda, when I look at the pile of presents I've got them, I always forget they will pick up extras from various friends and relatives, so by the day the pile is ridiculous