DH thinks im stingy re kids gifts. im hurt.

[SeasonalVag]

I excitedly showed my husband what I've bought our kids last night and he called me stingy. I was really annoyed and hurt as I think I've got enough, and they're nice presents too! I genuinely think he's being an arse.

My five year old is getting a Child's tablet, which I reluctantly bought but know will help with literacy etc. I think this is a massive present?

Roald dahl boxed collection which I KNOW he'll love, plus the usual Lego, annuals, dvds, stationery set, and a chocolate coin maker which he's been nagging me for ages. (Plus a ck jumper from tkmaxx which I love).

DH reckons he got sacks of stuff, but we didn't gets loads although my parents had the money, they just were sensible. I asked for a pair of trainers and more perfume, I don't need or want anything more.

I've told him I'm not buying any more and if he wants to go racing around toysrus or whatever, that's his problem.

So...am I a tightarse?

What you've got sounds more than enough. He needs to bear in mind that they will presumably be getting presents from other relatives.

But, as he's gone to buy more, make sure that you make him do all the wrapping of the new stuff.

YADNBU! My two have got seven pressies each, which includes an annual, a book, a medium-sized box of lego, one x box 360 and one Ipod Touch. They've got a stocking each with wee things in it. My friend last year got her two an x box and an ipad mini - they didn't get anything else, apart from stockings, as she said the main things cost a lot. She wasn't being tight - she can afford to spend more - just sensible.
I hate the fall-outs about Xmas traditions, my DH's family never put gifts from family under three until Xmas Eve as Santa brought them all, and always wrapped Santa presents. I've compromised on the last one.
Maybe next year you should plan what you're going to get together.

We don't do stockings so it may sometimes seem that Dd has more actual items than some of her friends. However, in reality it's not always the case - bit if you add up how much is in some stockings. We just simply wrap them and have them under the tree instead.

Mine have santa sacks mil made them so they just get presents in that no stockings

Bet he comes home with the toys he wants to play with

My 4 yr old is getting

• A playmobil police car (main present)
• An annual
• a onesie
• A board game
• a book
• some socks

Plus a stocking with chocolates in and one or two little gifts.

My 6 year old is getting

• A nice box with art materials in and nice drawing pads (main present)
• an annual
• two books
• a onesie
• some tights

Plus stocking as above.

I think that this plenty, esp as they have lots of relatives and godparents who buy them things too.

My two get five pressies each, one main Lego set and then 4 pressies of small things they wanted, ie books, a jumper, art stuff etc. they get quite a fun stocking (not just tat), but everything is planned out and I won't go over budget. We could afford to spend lots more, but I feel really uncomfortable with that. I want them to understand Christmas is not just about what they get. When my dd was really little she could not cope with lots of presents and would often cry as she found it so overwhelming! (She is over that now however.)

I think your son will be thrilled with the presents you've described.

Mine always had 5 presents and a stocking (with a mix of nice bits and useful bits) And then presents from relatives and friends too, so with four children it looked a LOT especially when they were small and the toys were big.

I do all the shopping as I enjoy planning what they need/like but DH does the food shop as I hate it, so we are both happy.

Your gifts sound spot on!

Sounds like a lot to me (but only because of the tablet on top of everything else). But my dh thinks I'm stingy every year - and then in January gets stressed about the state of the bank account. At 5 my dc would have been overwhelmed by too much stuff, though appreciate not all kids are like that.

YANBU not at all, that sounds like a lovely set of gifts right there. In fact my own 5 year old is getting about the same, tablet, couple of board games, book collection, Lego set and Lego storage box, that pie face game and a few Charlie items like pencils, colouring books etc, that's all they need at this age surely.

Cheapie items that meant to say not Charlie lol.

Gosh I'd say that sounds like a lot for a five year old and really nice things that he'll use and enjoy. Lucky boy! Your dh IDBVU and I would be upset too. You have done well - ignore him (and do post back about what he saw fit to augment it with)

I don't quite understand how you have a five year old child together and have got this far, including the relationship prior to the child arriving, without sorting this out? Or even realising there is an issue.

It's hard to say yabu or yanbu without a bit more context iyswim

But OTW I think your presents sound like plenty.

Your gift choices sound just right and I bet your son will be thrilled. I've often made the mistake of buying extras to increase the quantity and they barely get looked at.
My husband also does fuck all and then turns his nose up at what I've got. Actually he doesn't any more after several exchanges like this:
"Is that all you bought him? "
"It's better than the stuff you got him."
"But I didn't get anything. "
"Yes"

I don't quite understand how you have a five year old child together and have got this far, including the relationship prior to the child arriving, without sorting this out? Or even realising there is an issue.

This is what I was thinking too. Don't you discuss a budget? Does he know how much it all adds up to? He may have had lots of presents as a child and if you can afford it, you can agree to go overboard at Christmas if that's what you both want.

But you really just need to discuss this and agree how much to spend per child.

12 months ago, I had a major wobble that my dc werent going to have enough presents and I went and bought more stuff. The extra stuff that I bought to bulk out the piles, the dc went bothered about at all. I look back and am a bit embarrassed that I wasted money on stuff they didn't need just so they had more presents. This year, I have thought about it all and have resisted buying extra crap. They have a similar amount of stuff to what you describe and I know they will be happy with it.

Those presents are absolutely fine.

The chocolate coin maker is crap, though, I fell for it too

You DH is stingy......with his appreciation of YOU!

The things you bought sound lovely and he should be pleased at your work to chose and buy and wrap them.

If he'd like to also buy some things then that's lovely as well but I don't see why it has to come with a criticism of your efforts!

the presents you've bought sound lovely - and plenty!

You have a tablet, Roald Dahl books & Lego - IMHO you've gone for a smaller number of really nice good quality gifts (and quite expensive too!) over a huge amount of cheap tat which will be played with once & forgotten forever more.

The things you have bought will still be being enjoyed next Christmas. That, for me, is the sign of a well chosen present.

Your DH is wasting money for the sake of it. And I am not one of the "I have lots of money but only but my child a Satsuma & a lump of coal" brigade either .

This thread is making me feel a little guilty for buying DNephew a Chocolate Coin Maker last year .

Nah, it's never come up before, but then this is the first year we've had any nagging or expectations from our son who by nature is not greed at all.