Real dilemma about Christmas - WWYD

[notamum3210]

My fiancé and I have been a couple for just over 6 years and we're getting married next year.
I'm at a loss at what to do about Christmas. My family are from a religious background where we don't celebrate Christmas although we still give friends and neighbours Christmas cards.
My fiancé's family do Christmas in a BIG way. This year is set to be their biggest yet - there'll be about 10 family members there including my fiancé's sister's baby and his brother's 10 year old. It's really special to have them together as some family live abroad.
Anyway- since I've been with my fiancé I have spent Christmas Day with his family. As I never had Christmas growing up its really wonderful - very special.
A couple of years ago my parents went away on holiday and I looked after my brother for a week or so. He was 9 at the time and as it coincided with Christmas my future mother in law kindly invited him along- he LOVED it and it was very very special. They even got him some pressies and I did too just so he wouldn't feel left out when all was being opened under the tree.

Fast forward to this year and I've been invited for Christmas again and I don't know whether I should go. My brother is now 11 and I know he would be heartbroken if I got to have a Christmas and he didn't. I've asked my fiancé if he could come along (he really isn't any trouble) but he's said that it probably would be too much of a full house. I imagine my mil would say yes but I don't want to put her under more pressure as she's cooking for a lot of people and it's the biggest Christmas yet.
I know his family have bought presents for me and are assuming I'm coming. I just don't know what to do. I want to go but I hate the idea of my younger brother sitting at home with no company while I'm out enjoying myself.

Advice?

We really do not need more emojis.

As you were.

You go and celebrate Xmas with you fiance's family.

You then 'bring home' Xmas for your brother ie a portion of dinner, a cracker and some presents.

You ask your MIL if it's OK for you to plate up a portion for your brother because he enjoyed it last year.

MIL will probably ask you to bring him, but if she doesn't he still gets some special food and a couple of presents.

You do know that there is more than one Xmas don't you?

Could you and your brother celebrate Orthodox Xmas the week after?

Why is this all such a big deal? MIL is happy to have him - he is a well behaved child. She may just not have thought to invite him.

All this tosh about bringing a bit of dinner home is ridiculous

Everyone I know - friends and family would not blink at this - OPs fiancee may have been reluctant to ask but the OP can speak to MIL later directly/ bring a present/thank her in person. The family dynamics will change over the years but it is never good to be mean spirited.

Do Xmas on Boxing Day for him. Really though, you could have thought of your brother a bit earlier and planned for this. Next year, eh?

I suspect OP's MIL is afraid of treading of the toes of the child's parents and this is why she has not invited him initially.

What is going on on this thread?
People are fighting over nothing.
The OP said the problem was solved on page 2 and we are now on page 5 and people are fighting over nothing.
TBH it was a nothing problem to start with.
Christmasitis

I think it's nice of your future inlaws to invite your brother but think it's odd you wouldn't have gone if he wasn't invited. You're an adult now, he's your brother not your child. He shouldn't be being heartbroken at not having the same experiences as his much older sister. I presume you had a nonreligious Christmas with your parents aged 11 and survived. It soulds as though your parents would have been there looking after him and doing other stuff with him, just not Christmas stuff because like many families they don't celebrate Christmas.
I think asking if he could tag along was quite cheeky, and unnecessary.
I never dragged my younger sibs along to my boyfriend's families events.