Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fucking furious at this useless lump

196 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2015 22:17

I'm nearly 39 weeks pregnant and in loads of pain with my pelvis back bottom even fairy. I went up to bed at about 6 had a bath and a relax.
I've come downstairs and the kids (11 and nearly 9) are still awake. My daughter hasn't had a bath. He's done nothing. She also hasn't had any tea. He tries to blame her lack of bath on her 'I told her she needed one' and her lack of tea also. 'Well I asked her what she wanted and she didn't reply'
The living room which was immaculate is now an utter shithole. Is it my hormones or is he a bloody useless neglectful father who can't be relied upon?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/12/2015 22:20

You were upstairs relaxing from 6-10?! Hmm
Did you tell him you wanted him to feed the kids and get them to bed?

AnyFucker · 01/12/2015 22:21

Wolfie...do you think a father needs be told those things ? Confused

I don't fancy yours...

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2015 22:22

Yes how dare I relax from 6-10 whilst feeling like my entire body has been smashed to pieces with a hammer HmmHmm
Did I TELL him the kids needed food or baths? Like he needs to TELL me if he is ill or working away?

OP posts:
hesterton · 01/12/2015 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/12/2015 22:23

No Wolfie, she was upstairs in pain from 6-10.

Should a grown man really need to be told that his children need to be fed and put to bed at a decent time?

noeffingidea · 01/12/2015 22:23

wolfie why would he need to be told that his children needed feeding ?
OP, I would be a bit pissed off here, at least about not giving them their tea.

hiddenhome2 · 01/12/2015 22:24

What you have to do is take your mobile phone up to bed and ring the home phone with regular instructions. Issue whatever threats are necessary in order to make sure the work is completed.

AnyFucker · 01/12/2015 22:24

they are also up far too late on a school night

is he always such a waste of space ?

SouthWesterlyWinds · 01/12/2015 22:24

39 weeks pregnant with associated pains? Too right she was relaxing for a couple of hours.

YANBU - anyone with any sense would have sorted the kids out. Beans on toast, cheeses pasta, chips and frozen fish fingers - it isn't much. I take it he didn't miss out on supper?

HackerFucker22 · 01/12/2015 22:25

Well obviously this man does need to be told!!!

Senpai · 01/12/2015 22:25

Did you tell him you wanted him to feed the kids and get them to bed?

Does he need to tell her that he wants her to feed the kids or get them to bed when he relaxes?

He's their father. It doesn't take too many brain cells to figure out that maybe a child should be fed dinner.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 01/12/2015 22:25

It does sound like he is a bloody useless neglectful father who can't be relied upon

Is this unusual behaviour from him?

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2015 22:26

I'm not precious either by any means. Today has been spent putting away laundry which has been left all weekend. Doing the Christmas shopping and birthday shopping for my sons birthday. Making sure the house is tidy. Picking the kids up from school including DSs friend as a favour for a friend and taking DS for his haircut.
I'm a fucking dead weight me

OP posts:
Blarblarblar · 01/12/2015 22:26

Id be raging OP. YANBU

TimeToMuskUp · 01/12/2015 22:28

My DH is like a useless asshat at times. However, I've never had to explain that the DCs require regular feeding, bathing and firm bedtimes; surely that knowledge is just instinct unless you're a selfish, ignorant turd?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 01/12/2015 22:28

Well let's hope OP can pop this baby out after taking the other dc to school. And be back in time to organise dinner and bed times for everyone then Hmm
Yanbu.

Namechanger2015 · 01/12/2015 22:28

Did you tell him you wanted him to feed the kids and get them to bed?

Wtf?!

Yes, he is a useless lump you are most definitely not being unreasonable!

CFSsucks · 01/12/2015 22:29

Ffs "Did you tell him you wanted him to feed the kids and get them to bed"

He is a father with a brain, he should be capable of thinking that his children need food and putting (or telling to go ) to bed. It happens everyday and presumably he is there.

YANBU OP, it reminds me of weekends. I'm not very well and lie in. I get up and the DCs are never ever dressed, had teeth or hair brushed. In fact my DH doesn't even think DDs hair need brushing! It's down the middle of her back. It's bloody infuriating so I feel your pain. (He is a great husband and dad in general but I literally have to do all the thinking and telling what to do, he would have fed them and put them to bed though, not sure he'd bother with showers unless I reminded him).

Senpai · 01/12/2015 22:29

Dude. You're 39 weeks pregnant. You shouldn't even be doing that much. DH should be picking up 90% of the work at this point for you, so you can relax.

You shouldn't be having to do any of the running around unless it's actually necessary (ie: DH is at work).

BastardGoDarkly · 01/12/2015 22:30

Sharon of course you're not being unreasonable, take no notice.

Have you unleashed a bollocking had a chat with him about it?

AnyFucker · 01/12/2015 22:32

the thing is, shazza, I presume he has some good points since you are having your 3rd child with him

So....other than venting here, what are you going to do about this ?

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2015 22:33

I've no idea what to do. I'm lost. I'm so angry

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/12/2015 22:33

If I told DP I was off for a bath he wouldn't assume I would be out of commission for 4hours!
My DP is great and does loads for the kids but I normally cook. If I didn't make it clear that I needed him to do it then he probably wouldn't. He might assume they had eaten already or I'd be back shortly.
And OP I was in no way suggesting you are a dead weight. Not at all. Just did he think you were popping off for a bit or did he realise you expected him to take over.
And thanks AnyFucker. I do fancy mine!

Darvany · 01/12/2015 22:34

I'm a generous soul so I'm going to assume that the first response was ironic / sarcastic.

YANBU and your partner is a twat.

Original poster
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/12/2015 22:34

Lol no I didn't just say I was 'off for a bath' then bugger off into a coma.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread