To expect an 11 year old to be able to eat off the adults menu

[Icklepickle101]

Me & DP have been invited out to dinner by the in laws, text from MIL said 'you choose where we go, we aren't fussy'.

I text MIL I've booked a table at a local pub type and a copy of the menu. I then get a reply asking if we could go somewhere see as there is no children's menu for SIL age 11.

I could understand if the menu was fairly out there but there are things like a chicken Kiev or pie and mash but apparently these aren't suitable as she won't eat it all anyway.

I suggested she could eat something from the starters menu with a side but apparently this wouldn't be a balanced meal?

AIBU to expect and 11 year old (secondary school age!!!) to be able to choose something from the adults menu and not to want to change where we are going to accommodate her?

YANBU

I had a fussy eater but if push came to shove he'd just have chips on a meal out. Children's meals are rarely very healthy anyway

Well surely it should be an enjoyable meal out for your SiL too, so it makes sense to go somewhere where there is food that she will enjoy.

Is it maybe to do with price? If she's not a big eater they maybe resent paying adult prices. Plenty of places have kids menus though, I'm sure you could find somewhere nice

YANBU

Who is paying? Is it because your IL's don't want to pay for an additional 'full price' meal?

FWIW, I regularly take my niece and nephew out. They are 6 & 9. They have never eaten off a kids menu. That's why I love taking them out!

My 11 yo would happily eat from the adult menu and frequently does. But he is a boy with a huge appetite. My daughter, although admittedly younger, often struggles to finish even a child's meal and is overfazed if you put too much food on the plate. That said, any decent restaurant should be able to do a smaller portion of some dishes.

Where are they normally going that the meals on the kid's menus are super nutritious balanced meals? A starter and a side would be fine for one meal. Or she could get a main course and not eat it all, and the world wouldn't end.

This would annoy me largely because they told you to choose where to go because they aren't fussy, but now they are being fussy!

Can she not have a small portion of the adult meal choice?

YANBU to wonder why she can't have something from the adult menu.

YABU to refuse to change the booking just because of your own views about what you think an 11-year-old "should" do.

Yanbu at all, I would go somewhere without a kids menu with a 2 year old and just work something out eg starter and/or side as you suggested! At 11 why not order off the regular menu.

Kids menus are crap. My dc get a side of chips
/mash and a side of veg if we eat somewhere like that.

My 9 year old eats off the adult menu!

Yanbu at all.
Life is too childcentric these days , it's ridiculous imo.

My 9 yo rarely eats of the kids menu and often chooses an adult meal or has a jacket potato with cheese and beans. Most places are quite accommodating. He also sometimes makes something up from starters/sides (in fact so do I)! No idea why that wouldn't count as a balanced meal, surely that depends what is ordered, not which bit of the menu it comes off. Either way it's just one meal so so long as she likes it does it matter! Most kids meals are crap anyway.

YANBU.

I see this is going to turn into a stealth-boasting thread about how everyone's DC have been eating off the adult menu since they were 6 months old.

So, OP, are you going to refuse to change the booking and make an 11-year-old feel uncomfortable or are you going to be the bigger person and find somewhere everyone can eat what they want?

Yanbu.

But I'd bounce it back to MIL "ok, you choose where we're going and we'll see you there".

just to add, do you know they don't do a kids menu? Sometimes they are just not online.

It was meant to be a treat for me & DP after a difficult year and us expecting DC1 in January. SIL hasn't made things easy between us and has form for throwing her toys out of the pram to get her own way so it's the principle that something meant as a treat for me and DP is being affected by her throwing a strop again.

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Couldn't you call the restaurant and ask if they'd do a child's portion of something she'd like? They are normally quite accommodating especially if they are faced with losing a booking for 4 adult mains.

I'd actually avoid somewhere with a beige childen's menu (you know the type), hate them with a passion. I'd much rather my child had an adult meal and left some than have to endure dry nuggets, beans and chips - eurgghh.

I have called them and they don't offer a separate children's menu but are happy to make smaller portions which I have related to SIL & MIL

Most 11 year olds I know would be wingeing like mad if it was suggested they have a child's meal. YANBU

Blimey, you really don't like her, do you, OP?

How about you and your DP have your special meal with just the two of you, and the family meal separate. That's if you can bear to be in the same room as your 11-year-old SIL.

Tell them to bring her a packed lunch. If there's no dietary issues that need special provision she should have to lump it.

Most children's menus are for under 11 years old.

We went somewhere without a child's menu with my just 2 year old yesterday. She had a starter and a side salad. It doesn't even really occur to me to check if there's a childs menu.