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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect an 11 year old to be able to eat off the adults menu

429 replies

Icklepickle101 · 17/11/2015 16:46

Me & DP have been invited out to dinner by the in laws, text from MIL said 'you choose where we go, we aren't fussy'.

I text MIL I've booked a table at a local pub type and a copy of the menu. I then get a reply asking if we could go somewhere see as there is no children's menu for SIL age 11.

I could understand if the menu was fairly out there but there are things like a chicken Kiev or pie and mash but apparently these aren't suitable as she won't eat it all anyway.

I suggested she could eat something from the starters menu with a side but apparently this wouldn't be a balanced meal?

AIBU to expect and 11 year old (secondary school age!!!) to be able to choose something from the adults menu and not to want to change where we are going to accommodate her?

OP posts:
reni2 · 20/11/2015 15:13

What? Mintyy, there are loads of bunfights on, you can join a punch-up over being tardy or mums wanting to stay in the classroom all day, naked Germans... Grin

motherinferior · 20/11/2015 15:23

Dear lord, is this really such a trauma for the child? People are carrying on as if it were a double bereavement or suchlike. Her brother has moved out and his partner is having a baby. It's not as if a tornado has taken her to Oz or suchlike.

And the whole kids' menu hoo-ha is just silly. She's 11. If not at secondary already she soon will be.

splendide · 20/11/2015 15:28

I've found this thread weirdly fascinating. I'm probably too far the other way (I'm a bit of a push-over) but I really can't get my head round the upset. I'd just have replied to MIL "no problem, do you have a place in mind?" and not given it another thought.

In the abstract, I agree it's surprising that an 11 year old wants a children's menu but I don't get why anyone but her parents would care.

Marynary · 20/11/2015 15:56

Marynary - in the OP, it says, " I then get a reply asking if we could go somewhere see as there is no children's menu for SIL age 11." How did you interpret that to mean that the SIL was an adult and the 11-year-old was her child?

Why my misreading of the OP is of interest to you? It is not relevant to the debate so mind your own business.

HamaTime · 20/11/2015 16:11

I'm also weirdly fascinated but if I'd been asked to choose somewhere for my 'treat' and then got told it was no good for some made bollocksy reason then I would be put out. I think 11 is plenty old enough to be told 'This is your brother's treat, you can choose another time.'

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/11/2015 16:12

This is a thread on a public forum, marynary - I can comment on whatever I want, no matter how rude you choose to be.

Of course, instead of being so rude, you could just hold your hands up and admit that you didn't read the clear and unambiguous OP properly - but I won't hold my breath.

itsmeohlord · 20/11/2015 16:14

Of course she can eat of an adult menu at 11. Both mine did from about aged 8.

Marynary · 20/11/2015 16:39

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGeniusF I have said agreed that I misinterpreted the OP and I have explained why. It is completely irrelevant to the debate and you are the one being rude to keep going on about it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/11/2015 17:09

There was nothing to misinterpret in '...for SIL aged 11.'

Marynary · 20/11/2015 17:29

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I misread it as "for SIL child aged 11". Confirmation bias as it didn't occur to me that SIL would be a child.

HamaTime · 20/11/2015 17:33

You also misread that the kid ate a number of the things on the menu..

LineyReborn · 20/11/2015 17:39

But that's what the child's brother told the OP - that she did eat stuff on the posh pub menu.

Marynary · 20/11/2015 17:44

Firstly, I didn't misread the fact the DP thought the 11 year old ate a number of things on the menu HamaTime.

Marynary · 20/11/2015 17:45

Secondly, how it what I did or didn't read relevant to the debate? I understand now that the SIL is an 11 year but I fail to see how that makes OP more reasonable.

spritefairy · 20/11/2015 17:48

What about option c??

Pick a restaurant you are happy to eat at and you know sil will like it.

RoboticSealpup · 20/11/2015 18:02

muddha, that's kind of sweet. Smile (And reassuring to hear that there isn't some kind of meta-level ironic dimension to it.)

HamaTime · 20/11/2015 18:30

Mary

Firstly, Ok, you didn't misread it then. You didn't read it at all, then said "Where does it state that the child likes and eats a number of items on the menu?" and then totally dismissed it out of hand and decided the OPs brother wouldn't have a clue what his own sister ate, despite the OP saying he would and does as a consequence of having lived with her for a decade. I fail to see how this is better, but I'm happy to leave it like that if you like.

Secondly, it's not relevant to the actual debate, just the debate of 'Did Mary RIFT', which it's pretty clear that you didn't, yet you are on and on at STDG about how you have. FWIW, other people got the wrong end of the stick about the SIL being the child, rather than the mother, which you would know if you'd RTFT, but they just said 'Oh', not contorted themselves into a knot of self righteous indignation about how a non fussy child is fussy.

TheCarpenter · 20/11/2015 18:31

I have no idea if the OP is unreasonable. I just saw the post number and assumed a huge bunfight.

Wow, my Friday nights are wild.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 20/11/2015 18:34

It's 6.30 Carpenter. It could buck up yet. I'm about to put on my jammies and open some wine.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 20/11/2015 18:49

cin fucking cin!

Good grief.

Senpai · 20/11/2015 18:50

Secondly, how it what I did or didn't read relevant to the debate?

Because if I came in here talking about my favorite feeding technique it wouldn't be relevant to the thread because... I didn't actually read the thread and what it was about.

Reading comprehension is a good thing. You will need it for about 100% of the threads on here.

Marynary · 20/11/2015 19:12

Firstly, Ok, you didn't misread it then. You didn't read it at all, then said "Where does it state that the child likes and eats a number of items on the menu?" and then totally dismissed it out of hand and decided the OPs brother wouldn't have a clue what his own sister ate, despite the OP saying he would and does as a consequence of having lived with her for a decade. I fail to see how this is better, but I'm happy to leave it like that if you like.

I didn't think it he would know because I thought he was the uncle. Now I know the SIL is a child I think that it irrelevant anyway. Getting worked up over a child behaving childishly is ridiculous.

Senpai · 20/11/2015 19:17
Grin

I don't know what I'm talking about, but it doesn't matter anyway because I just know I'm right.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 20/11/2015 19:22
Grin
Marynary · 20/11/2015 19:22

Because if I came in here talking about my favorite feeding technique it wouldn't be relevant to the thread because... I didn't actually read the thread and what it was about.

It is not relevant to the debate at the moment though is it? I know now that the SIL is 11 and I am basing my opinion on that. Whether or not I misread something way back in the thread is completely irrelevant and you are only arguing about it to be nasty.

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