To expect an 11 year old to be able to eat off the adults menu

[Icklepickle101]

Me & DP have been invited out to dinner by the in laws, text from MIL said 'you choose where we go, we aren't fussy'.

I text MIL I've booked a table at a local pub type and a copy of the menu. I then get a reply asking if we could go somewhere see as there is no children's menu for SIL age 11.

I could understand if the menu was fairly out there but there are things like a chicken Kiev or pie and mash but apparently these aren't suitable as she won't eat it all anyway.

I suggested she could eat something from the starters menu with a side but apparently this wouldn't be a balanced meal?

AIBU to expect and 11 year old (secondary school age!!!) to be able to choose something from the adults menu and not to want to change where we are going to accommodate her?

A starter plus a side salad, chips, potatoes or whatever sounds like a great choice for a child or smaller appetite. I often get that myself as restaurant meals are often far too big for me.

What does SIL normally eat when out? Most children's menus are the usual beige crap and chips type rubbish anyway - you're doing well if you can get small portions of normal food instead.

SR I will be completely honest and I will be flamed for this, I really dislike her. She made up health problems after finding out I was pregnant and DP moved in with me in a bid to get him to move back home and has told him that she is his family. not me and therefore she should come first.

She is an 11 year old child. Maybe she is throwing a strop or maybe she has picked up that you really don't like her very much.

depends where you end up I suppose. I mean if it's a perfectly nice alternate pub what's the problem.

if it's somewhere that serves ready meals slipped on a plate and freezer burnt nuggets on the kids menu Yanbu.

I refuse to believe the menu contains nothing this kid would eat. I'd just get mine a jacket potato or a portion of chips and some ice cream if there really was nothing they'd eat.

So. Portion size problem solved.

I'd stick with where you are going and if they don't want to come, don't do it.

It's a pub- presumably it has a wide range of very standard food that is likely to cater to fussy eaters. Unless you are about to drip feed that she's coeliac or something....

The thing that would bug me is the fact that four adults are being dictated to by what an 11 year old girl wants. I am sure a pub style restaurant could find a meal she would like without everyone changing their plans for her.

I know I sound like an old bag but when I was 11 I ate where I was taken and was grateful!

Well, fair play to you for being honest, but I think you need to have a word with yourself if you think it's ok to treat her badly because you don't like her. She is a child.

So and 11 year old child is having difficulties adjusting to a change in the structure of the family and tries to manipulate the situation in an immature way to keep things as they have always been. Well that is a world first Has anyone considered her feelings in this? Or is it only adult feelings that matter?

Fuzzy makes a good point, kids menus are normally for little kids...

It's threads like this that make me feel like a grumpy tweedy old lady.

She's 11. She doesn't get to control a whole group of adults.

I think the OP is talking about the sil rather than the kid...

I'm sorry but my toddler would eat off an adult menu!

I don't mean a whole portion, but would be completely happy with a starter portion or something off our plate.

At 11 years old I would not expect a child to need special "dumbed down" food.

Sorry misread!

I think the OP is talking about the sil rather than the kid...
the kid is the SIL

"I text MIL I've booked a table at a local pub type and a copy of the menu. I then get a reply asking if we could go somewhere see as there is no children's menu for SIL age 11."

SIL is the kid

x posted

Chipped, the SIL is 11

Well, ould all have been avoided if MIL had chosen the place or let OP choose with a caveat of "must have children's menu"

I'd be pissed off if I was invited out, told it was my choice but then asked to change my choice to accomodate someone who actually could be accomodated with my choice!

My child was born abroad and we took her to "proper" restaurants, where she behaved perfectly well, from babyhood. She would have been insulted to ever have been offered a kid's menu, as she tucked into her mussels, snails and frogs' legs (with pommes frites on the side).

Why does food make people behave like such tyrants? The SIL is 11 years old and the OP has admitted she doesn't like her.

Still think she should be made to eat something she doesn't like?

Round of applause for dumdedum.

You must be very proud of your baby eating frogs' legs, especially if you knew the conditions in which they're produced

The thing that would bug me is the fact that four adults are being dictated to by what an 11 year old girl wants.

I agree with this.

Well there might be something that she liked if she was given the chance!

I find I am agreeing with both libraries and Chazs: basically I think it is down to your MIL (Presumably she is SIL's mother?) to help SIL to adjust to the changed family dynamic that she's not comfortable with - her brother creating a family of his own. Just allowing her to throw a strop though is not helping her, it's actually creating a whole load of problems for SIL in the future, because life throws us things and we have to adapt to them.

I think she should eat what there is.

Kids menus are usually fish fingers
chicken nuggets
burgers
chips
sausages

adult menus usually contain fish and chips
sausage and mash
burgers
and chicken
chips.

what's the sodding difference that's she can't eat it