Kid with DVD player on train.... I asked to turn it down

[Dungandbother]

Outs self
Been on a very busy child packed train to a popular European tourist attraction.
There was no row but I'm curious for a MN verdict

Family next to mine. One child about 10. He gets out a portable DVD player and starts watching a film LOUDLY as in I can hear the whole thing and my DS was next to me.

It was a 12 film, The Avengers. I inwardly tut at the loudness but DS carries on playing iPad (on silent) and I continue to read.

DS notices film and leans towards it, he can hear it and it's interesting.

Film says SHIT and I quietly ask Dad to turn it down for the swearing. Mum herself turns it down and kid has a meltdown. He actually punched his DVD player. Mum removes film and all hell breaks loose.

Then mum tells me he has SN and I said sorry to have caused upset but I was bothered by the swearing for DS who is young (5).

She practically yelled at me well my son is little too.

Son calms down 15 mins later on being given a donut, a new film etc. He was actually pretty angelic for the rest of the journey.

I do feel the mum blamed me for the meltdown. Unjustifiable so.

Why didn't he have headphones

I wasn't being U was I?

Massive projection on the thread, as usual.

Donuts always cheer me up too.

Bialy
I don't know, Dad was absolutely silent over the DVD bashing, whereas it clearly annoyed Mum.

I parent alone, so maybe I was subconsciously comparing their parenting. Thinking about it, Dad had pulled the boy down into his seat earlier in the journey (can't remember why) and boy acquiesced yet Dad did nothing about the meltdown situation. He was weirdly silent.

That's why I'm pondering it. He actually retreated from the whole thing

there used to be a woman at swimming who let her kid play peppa fucking pig on full volume

HEADPHONE

HEADPHONES

It's sad when people use SN as an excuse as it diminishes the real need that some children with SN have for accommodation.

I get pissed off with things like this, so many people use SN as an excuse. Ywnbu

SN is not an excuse. Parents should have taken headphones. Bad planning was the cause of the meltdown, not SN.

What you did wasn't unreasonable you were perfectly polite and they overreacted.

Maybe the dad doesn't know how to deal with it and has largely left it to the mum over the years.

Loud noises can cause me distress. When this happens I will often scrunch up my face and put my hands over my ears. Sometimes I might get upset. I hope nobody will judge me too harshly for this.

If a SN child is unable to wear headphones then why let them watch/play something that has noise? I am asking merely to further my knowledge not to be arsey. You can have noiseless games, books, puzzles etc on a tablet. Why not let them play/watch one of those. At home you can do what you want but in public why not compromise? The child still gets to use their tablet and bystanders are not bombarded with electronic noise.

Would you have asked an adult who said shit to speak more quietly OP?

I think this is a one off situation which I can see from both sides. However, I'm wondering what might happen if a child with SN and loud film sat near to another person with SN who couldn't stand the noise...

waltermitty maybe not projection so much as experience, perhaps?

xxed agree

Bialy I seem to have offended you in the same way I offended Mum.
But that's my whole point of posting. I feel bad. I need to talk it over.

I haven't replied to all the YWNBU posters. I'm glad to hear all sides and suggestions.

Fwiw, I feel guilty.

He might not be able to wear earphones if he has sensory issues.

Am kind of liking the irony though, that OP is complaining about the noise of a film after being at Disneyland for the weekend

The noise didn't bother me Bialy.

The content did.

If a child cannot wear earphones I am sympathetic. I don't like them much myself.

But iPads, portable DVD players etc are a relatively new invention. Children with autism existed before they were a twinkle in Steve Jobs' eye. How did parents manage train journeys then?

What's your point TheXxed ?

if they cant wear earphones have some respect for everyone else who doesnt want your shit noise

That is always brought up in threads such as these shockers. Ime (both online and rl) is that it's just tough and we have to put up and shut up.

And of course get judged for not being able to stand the noise.

OP you haven't offended me.

Of FFS get over yourself OP!

Ponder it to yourself rather than get the whole of MN dissecting this poor family's every action.

I have seen countless threads and campaigns over the years trying to raise awareness about parenting children with SN.

Then, when someone tries to talk something out she's met with aggression and sarky responses.

I do think you were being a bit precious objecting to your child hearing the word "shit". In my experience if you take a child on public transport you can count yourself very lucky if that's the worst he hears.

Shockers, yes I would and I do.

I sympathise Toads

Loud music, very loud, actually makes me feel sick.