14 year old left alone in the dark

[peppercorns3]

So my 14 year old daughter asked if she could go in to town with some friends yesterday, one of whom I assume is her new ' boyfriend' although she would never tell me!
I told her she needed to be back at 6pm at the latest and reminded her that she never stays out alone.
At about 6.01 I got a message saying she was just waiting with 'said boy' until he was picked up and then would come straight home. I tried to call her a number of times to tell her to bring him back here rather than wait outside ( they were a 5 min walk away), but she didn't pick up her phone.
About 20 mins later she walked through the door after walking home alone.
AIBU to be cross 1: with her for allowing herself to be put in the position of being alone in the dark; 2: with the boy for leaving her to walk home alone in the dark and 3: with his parent for picking their child up and leaving mine alone in the dark??!
I know it was only a short walk, but still- things can happen even close to home!
I now feel worried because she is obviously not as sensible as I thought and I also feel bad because I am annoyed with this boy- who u haven't even met yet for not taking better care of my daughter!
Unreasonable?? X

14? At 6pm? Get a grip.

YANBU. The boys parents should have offered your DD a lift home. That's what any normal Mum/Dad would do. I would NEVER leave a girl to walk home in the dark. What a selfish parent.

Yes, and old fashion. My 10 year old would walk that far at that time. I think you meed to calm down, no wonder she wont talk to you.

I think you're over reacting a bit. Is it a particularly dangerous area that you live in? I don't think the streets suddenly become more dangerous just because it's now dark before 6pm. After 11pm and you would NBU.

YABU and you need to get your anxiety in check urgently. It's 6pm not midnight.

Bit ott,it's a 5 min walk

Sounds fine to me, my 14yr old goes out in the dark

At 6pm seriously, it will dark at 4.30pm here soon - how do you think older children get home from school/clubs/shops/library/their granny's etc ?

YABU. 6pm isn't late and what will you do when it's dark at 4pm? Keep her in?

Do you live in a dangerous area?

Well I would always offer anyone a lift rather than having to walk alone and in the dark. How much of a risk it actually is/was I guess depends on some extent to the area. I would be a bit narked with the other parents, unless it was a busy area with lots of people about and anyone attempting to drag someone off the street would be noticed immedialty. But more of a deserted area Id be suprised the parents didn't offer.

Completely overreacting. My DS1 is 12 and would be able to walk 5 minutes home in the dark. In fact he will probably do that every day soon as it will most likely be dark when he gets off his school bus and he walks to the house.

Unless you live in some war torn city then you need to chill.

Maybe the parents did offer and the DD said 'no worries, it's 5 mins away'. Reasonably so.

I think I can tell why she would never tell you about a boyfriend!

There was an unexpected delay, it wasn't late, and she took the trouble to let you know where she was and what the hold up was in quick time. If being honest about a reasonable delay causes her this much hassle she'll just lie in the future and that's far more likely to cause trouble! I know that it's a difficult age and i understand that it's causing you anxiety, but i'm afraid you are being unreasonable on all counts.

Is this a joke? 14 years old and 6pm? I am afraid must live in another world. As well as my own children, now grown, I am a foster carer, and I know children's services would not at all be happy with me for insisting a child of that age was back at 6pm (except for a valid reason).

Last year I had a 14 year old who was pushing the boundaries, and their SW said to allow them out until 9pm on a school night and 10pm at weekends.

I don't think you are being unreasonable op. I am far from an overprotective parent but I would not be happy with my dd (nearly 14) walking round in the darken her own. 6pm or 10pm makes no difference, dark is dark.

"anyone attempting to drag someone off the street would be noticed immedialty."

Because this happens all the time........

14 years old walking for 5 mins at 6pm?

YABU. And bonkers.

She's 14, loosen the apron strings mamma or you may find yourself in the hell of rebellion in the next couple of years.

YABVVVVVU

Maybe the boy is hiding your DD from his parents as completely as she id hiding him from you. So they didn't see her, had no idea she was there, with him, his girl friend.

And maybe if you didn't fuss so much she would have answered her phone and even brought him home to wait for his parents.

yabvu and ridiculous.

it was 6pm and she's 14!

YABU and MTPumpkin how can you describe yourself as 'far from an overprotective parent' but that you won't let your almost 14 year old walk alone in the dark? It was a 5 minute walk!

6pm and a 5 minute walk? There are still children younger than that playing out on my road at 6.