14 year old left alone in the dark

[peppercorns3]

So my 14 year old daughter asked if she could go in to town with some friends yesterday, one of whom I assume is her new ' boyfriend' although she would never tell me!
I told her she needed to be back at 6pm at the latest and reminded her that she never stays out alone.
At about 6.01 I got a message saying she was just waiting with 'said boy' until he was picked up and then would come straight home. I tried to call her a number of times to tell her to bring him back here rather than wait outside ( they were a 5 min walk away), but she didn't pick up her phone.
About 20 mins later she walked through the door after walking home alone.
AIBU to be cross 1: with her for allowing herself to be put in the position of being alone in the dark; 2: with the boy for leaving her to walk home alone in the dark and 3: with his parent for picking their child up and leaving mine alone in the dark??!
I know it was only a short walk, but still- things can happen even close to home!
I now feel worried because she is obviously not as sensible as I thought and I also feel bad because I am annoyed with this boy- who u haven't even met yet for not taking better care of my daughter!
Unreasonable?? X

Worra and verystressed - were you really, really well behaved as kids. If not you have appalling memories and are stoking a time bomb, FFS loosen up!! I can't believe your kids actually take this nannying shit from you, they need to rebel before it's too late.

What are you talking about Happ? What nannying shit, just because I pick my daughter up.
Fwiw I was running wild that age all over London, I wish my mother had have had more concern for me.
However, my daughters do plenty and are out doing things that I have no idea about I'm sure. They do all the usual things that other teenagers do. Just because they don't walk around on their own in the dark doesn't mean that I'm so overprotective that I cannot let them out if my sight or that they are waiting for the first chance to rebel.

And 'stoking a time bomb' because i pick my daughters up when they are finished doing whatever it is they are doing. Do you overact with everything in your life?

Do you overact with everything in your life?

I'm beginning to think that Happ might overreact quite a lot on MN.

I think you need to get help with some of these anxieties before you pass them onto your daughter.
I have experience of anxieties being passed on! It's not good.
I had protective parents, but seriously your dd does not need a chaperone at 14 in the dark.
What happens when she has to walk home from school?
What happens when she gets older?
When she has to be out on her own?
How is she going to feel then?
She's either not going to cope or she will lie to you.
She won't suddenly be anymore ok in the dark at 16 or 18.
Being really overprotective does mess relationships up.
She needs independance.
I had a good childhood but i did hide things.
I didn't want to be the weird kid that wasn't allowed out.
Does she have to make excuses?
I didn't lie to my parents a lot, except for that one thing. I went out with my friends loads ( never got in trouble or did anything bad) and simply lied. I never told my mother.

Jame Bulger was a toddler April jones knew the man who murdered her pointing out these terrible crimes is not really helpful i know you were trying to say things happen in daylight butit does not really fit here imo.

And neither is saying that kids are only in danger from family.

April jones only knew the man because it was a small community. They knew of him, they didn't know him.

i was brought up in the country and walked home in the dark all the time. It's surprising even on the darkest night that your eyes adjust and you can actually see the road/ verge. Also you ears are alert. I would never want a torch as then you stand out in the blackness.

I still can walk in what appears the pitch black, I see it as empowering.

I feel sorry for people who never experience clouds scudding across the moon, foxes barking, owls hooting, snowflakes in the moonlight though wasn't thinking that at 2am on a freezing December night dressed in party wear