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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my grandchild the name he has just been given.

222 replies

timetobackout · 22/10/2015 11:23

My daughter has just had her first child, our first grandchild, mother and baby
doing fine,very exciting time for all of us.However she has given the little boy
two perfectly nice ordinary names, say David Charles, but the plan is
obviously to call him by his initials,so a conversation could go
'Hi Mum Deecee has put on another 2ozs'
'Lovely darling, glad David is feeding well , Aunt Matilda has rang to ask if
you could put some pictures of David in the post'
'Yes, I've got some lovely pictures of Deecee on the computer' etc etc
So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided, but this is obviously a short term solution, but I just refuse to call him Deecee for the
next twenty years

OP posts:
Merrylegs · 22/10/2015 11:25

Poss think about changing your username ....timetobackoff

VelvetShroudatMidnight · 22/10/2015 11:25

Is it any nickname or just the deecee you don't like? Could you come up with a special grandma only nickname for him that only you use?

WorraLiberty · 22/10/2015 11:25

If I were you, I'd grit my teeth and call him by whatever name the parents want him called by.

There are tons of names I can't stand, but that doesn't prevent me from saying them.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 22/10/2015 11:28

You're very rude. Call him by his parent's preferred name. Unless they don't care...why don't you ask them?

"I know you call him DC but is that what you want us all to call him?"

MTGlass · 22/10/2015 11:28

I think you are going to have to call him whatever your dd wants him to be known by. Its not really your call what she decides his name to be.

Congratulations on your new grandson :)

squoosh · 22/10/2015 11:29

Firstly congratulations!

Secondly, I don't ywbu to call him by his 'proper' name but it could all get a bit pointed and snippy if conversations continued as above.

If they want to call him DC/PJ/JP I'd just go with that to be honest.

laureywilliams · 22/10/2015 11:29

Assuming this isn't a joke.

Then yes YABU. You'll get used to it in about a week.

Have you discussed this with your daughter? Eg"I love the name David, can I call him that or does it have to be DeeCee?"

It wont be for 20 years though. In about 10 years he'll be able to tell you himself what he wants to be called. In the meantime, its one of the perks of parenthood. You get to decide what the baby is called (and goes by)

PosterEh · 22/10/2015 11:32

You're being hard work and making a point when your dd has just had a baby? Well done you, excellent parenting that. Hmm

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 22/10/2015 11:32

my folks do this, when my daughter was old enough she told them "my name is xyz not abcdxyz"
now she is older she understands she has a long name and a short name.

You can presume they like the David or wouldn't have chosen it to begin with.
if they do get shirty ask why they chose a name they don't like?

SunshineAndShadows · 22/10/2015 11:32

If they've named him David (or whatever) then I don't see why you can't use that. It's what his teachers etc will use as I can't see many schools using DeeCee as a name in class.

The nick naming may wear off. A friend of mine called her baby BeeJay (his initials were BJ, not actual name) until it occurred to her that BJ is also a well known sexual abbreviation. He gets his proper name now

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 22/10/2015 11:33

You can't refuse to call your grandson by the name his parents want him to be known as Confused

You chose your dcs names, why won't you allow your dd to do the same?

PennyHasNoSurname · 22/10/2015 11:33

Meh...if they wanted him to be called DJ (for eg), then they should have just named him that. If his first name is David then id use that.

My dd has a name that could be a derivative of two longer names, neither of which I like but I love the shortening. So that is on her BC.

TheOnlyColditz · 22/10/2015 11:34

You don't get to decide another person's child's name. You had your turn, now either enjoy a relationship with your grandchild or don't.

maybebabybee · 22/10/2015 11:35

YABU but I do sympathise as my SIL and BIL have done something similar with my DN...his initials are PJ. I cringe every time I say it but it's not my baby. So yes, YABU.

dementedma · 22/10/2015 11:37

Might not wear off. Seems popular in military/wealthy families. I know an adult PK and an adult AK. Both men.

vwxyz · 22/10/2015 11:38

Avoid calling him anything for now. If speaking to his parents use DC to avoid offence. When he is older you can refer to him as David to other people if you wish.
This really isn't important enough to cause ill feeling over.

5madthings · 22/10/2015 11:38

You call the baby by whatever its parents want them to be known as, using initials as a name isn't that unusual. I knew a tj and a cj I think one was Thomas James and the other charlie James, but they were always know by their initials and yes even at school, when you fill in the forms for school they ask what your child's name is and if they are called by a shortening etc. And in this case the child would be known by dc/deeceee.

squoosh · 22/10/2015 11:38

In Ireland you'll find lots of men called PJ and JP. Both really common shortenings.

Backforthis · 22/10/2015 11:39

Why would you deliberately upset your DD?

reni2 · 22/10/2015 11:39

Just go with DeeCee. Be glad they had the sense to call him David Charles rather than Deecee, so if it annoys him later he can change it and his CV won't say Deecee either.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 22/10/2015 11:40

You don't get to decide another person's child's name. You had your turn, now either enjoy a relationship with your grandchild or don't.

surely no parent would be that petty to stop contact over this?

hufflebottom · 22/10/2015 11:40

I don't think YABU, my Gran has called all her kids, grandkids and great grandkids by their full first name, she ignores the shortened version. Regardless of whether or my they are known by their shortened name/nickname round the family. Even my dd has got used to being called xyz by great Gran but called x by everyone else in the family.

I just think for a while you'll have to get used to your dd calling you dgs by his nickname. But stick by your guns on what you wish. It will just become routine.

Congratulations of your grandson.

LagunaBubbles · 22/10/2015 11:42

You don't get to decide another person's child's name. You had your turn, now either enjoy a relationship with your grandchild or don't.

What an unnecessarily nasty and snippy reply. OP isnt trying to decide on anything - if the parents want to call their child DC thats fine but they are the ones registering his name as David to begin with! (I know thats just an example).

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/10/2015 11:42

I'd continue to call him David until you are asked not to. it's not like you are calling him something that isn't his name.

...and for the record, ime schools will use nn if that is what the child is presented as. My son has a friend at school known by a nn that is nothing to do with his real name (think Tig but not that) and the school use it for everything including award ceremonies and reports etc.

trulybadlydeeply · 22/10/2015 11:42

Just ask - "Is DC just a family nickname, or will you want everyone to call him that as he grows up". if it's not just a family nickname, but the name he will be known as, then you don't really have a choice but to respect their wishes.