To call my grandchild the name he has just been given.

[timetobackout]

My daughter has just had her first child, our first grandchild, mother and baby
doing fine,very exciting time for all of us.However she has given the little boy
two perfectly nice ordinary names, say David Charles, but the plan is
obviously to call him by his initials,so a conversation could go
'Hi Mum Deecee has put on another 2ozs'
'Lovely darling, glad David is feeding well , Aunt Matilda has rang to ask if
you could put some pictures of David in the post'
'Yes, I've got some lovely pictures of Deecee on the computer' etc etc
So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided, but this is obviously a short term solution, but I just refuse to call him Deecee for the
next twenty years

My MIL is the person in my story - missed that out!

If I meet someone and say " Hi I'm Kimberly , but I preferred to be called Kim " and they persisted in calling me " Kimberly " after having been reminded , I'd think they were very rude .

Or if they said " well that's what your parents called you so it must be correct "

Or " I prefer that name so that's what I want to call you " .

Since this is a tiny baby, the parents get to decide the form of their child's name and other people should respect that . Any nicknames they might have a school when they are 10 are a totally separate matter .

Unless they are trying to be rude and cause trouble in the family , which I suspect some of you are . It's about power and control , parents/ grandparents refusing to accept that their child/ grandchild is actually an adult and gets to make such decisions without reference to them.

The way I read Colditz's comment was stressing on the "enjoy" part of the statement - I dont think they were implying cutting contact, but that this is not really an issue to make a big deal out of as it will make the relationship with her grandson , and her dd, less enjoyable. Chillax maaan! Go with the flooooowwwww.

DC is so awful I'd be struggling if I were OP, too.
I think I'd gently ask about having David instead as my pet 'grandparent name', at least sometimes.

But also Panicking if the thought of someone, close family at that, calling the child by his given name, is giving the parents such a headache then maybe they shouldn't have used the name in the first place!

Shelagh - Bloody hell its not like they named the kid superman.

Sorry, I was a bit stroppy yesterday

But I still can't see the problem with the GPs calling the boy his given name. The parents presumably liked it enough to write it on his birth certificate.

I think YABU op and this is an exact situation that I've been in before (from your dd's pov).

names have been changed

DH's name is Adam...a family tradition for the first born male dc, which I was happy to continue with ds1. We called ds1 Adam John.

However, dh and his dad are both called Adam. Commonly referred to as Adam Senior and Adam Junior when in company and with minimum confusion. But whilst I was happy to call ds1 Adam on his bc, I didn't want to spend the next twenty years at home shouting for Adam and both dh and ds responding. And the whole Adam Senior/Adam Junior names were assigned already. So, we decided, prior to ds1 even being born, that he would be known as AJ.

Ds1 knows his name is Adam. He's used to being called Adam at the Doctors or Dentists, and that statements for his kids savings account arrive in the name Adam John. But it's not who he is. He is AJ. Everyone who knows him calls him AJ. He's AJ on his school register, for his teachers, friends and family.

For someone to call ds1 Adam now would be just as as randomly calling him Simon. In a casual situation (where he's not expecting it), he probably wouldn't respond. And you're being rude in insisting on doing so op. You'll make yourself 'that' fucking awkward person who your dd and her oh and his family roll their eyes about. In my family, the awkward person was my nan who insisted on calling ds1 Adam for years, to the point that he doesn't really like seeing her now as it irritates him so much.

You insisting on calling him David is akin to someone who is called Bob by all and sundry and then to have one pretentious twat insisting on calling him Robert. Even if Robert IS on his BC, you call him by his chosen name if you're a decent person (or if Bob was a child then his parents chosen name).

I think it's going to be a long battle to convince everybody else to call him by his initials once he starts school or nursery

Utter rubbish. Ds1 has been called AJ by school since he started at age 3. He's introduced to strangers as AJ. Once in a while, someone will ask out of interest what it stands for and I tell them 'Adam John'. Then, they go on calling him AJ.

It's really only a big deal for the occasional prick that decides they know best and that their wishes are more important that dh's and mine, or (now he's old enough to decide for himself) AJ's.

Is this still going? Op conceded that she would call him DC pages ago.

Yanbu
A pet hate of mime is people calling themself by their initials -sounds wanky and self important. Your dd can hardly complain at people calling her DS by his name
But as others have said just work round it by referring to him as 'little one' etc for now .our secondary school would not call a child by their initials

A pet hate of mime is people calling themself by their initials -sounds wanky and self important

So don't call yourself or your dc by initials. You don't get to choose for other people though, however much you hate it.

our secondary school would not call a child by their initials

You are either misinformed or lying. They will, in every single case, ever. A school will call a dc by their 'known by' name if different to the bc and would find themselves in bloody hot water if they decided to try to change a child's known by name after 11 years of them being called it. They have no more right to choose than you do.

SummerNights1986

It would be interesting to see a parent or a school get a teacher in to "trouble" by calling a child by the name that is on the register.

You are either misinformed or lying

..and I would lie about this because...?

Wow what a rude person you are!!

I just cannot get why this is an issue to people!!

I have a ds with a name that can be shortened think Daniel/Danny (not his name) everyone calls him Danny he calls himself Danny he's registered at preschool as Danny .....my dad calls him Daniel the only person in the world to do so. Ds knows it's his real name he responds to it it doesn't bother him and I couldn't give a shiny shit about it I love my dad and if he wants to call ds by his given name the name I chose to give him and is his actual name why would I be precious or argue about it??

If he started calling him Dave or Steve fair enough but it is his name!!

Well i'm sorry you feel that way Brioche but if you post rubbish to back up your argument, you can expect to get pulled up on it.

So not knowing which school it even is, you know what happens in a school better than the people that go there?
No point in trying to engage with someone like you.

I've already given an example earlier in the thread that shows that a school (High school in this case) will call a child by the name presented to them whether or not that is the name on the birth certificate or whether it has any resemblance to that name.

It's a bit different from little Johnny suddenly telling the teacher he will henceforth only answer to King poo poo head. I am sure in that case the teacher will continue to use the given name until advised differently by the parents. But if a high school child is already known by a nn or syas to the teacher "my name is Samantha but I prefer Sam" I am sure that the teacher will call them Sam (unless they forget).

Schools aren't that different Brioche.

If you give a school a known by name for a child (either first OR surname) then they WILL use it.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/birth-certificates-and-changing-your-name/changing-your-name/

A child’s name can be changed at any time, provided it is not to deceive or defraud another person. There is no legal procedure which must be followed in order to change a child’s name, providing all the people who need to give their consent have done so. The parent simply starts using the new name

Once a child’s name has been changed it can be used for all purposes, such as starting school and registering with a GP

When you apply for a school place in my area they ask for name on birth certificate and then thete is a box for 'known as' of different to Borth certificate ie they use a short version, a nickname, initials etc. All the schools have similar as well so ds1 is known as the shortened version of his name and ds3 was known as a nickname though now he is ten he is known by his name, that just naturally changed as he got older. Ds1 is 16 and doing a levels and has never been referred to as his full name at school, always the shortened version of his first name. Schools will use the name parents and child request, at least in all the various primary and high schools I know of.

It would be interesting to see a parent or a school get a teacher in to "trouble" by calling a child by the name that is on the register

With in education and social and health care now the wishes and feelings of the child or young person are considered to be so important, that yes calling them by a name they do not wish to be known by would be considered to be a huge issue

The school has not long ago stopped calling boys by their surnames.I know a neighbours child who has never been called by her real name the family and primary school called her by a nickname that her sister invented when she was born.The secondary school will not deviate from her given name much to her disgust

Ok brioche - but you have to be aware that that isn't the norm? It's like insisting that school uniforms are all tail-coats and not blazers...

NeedsAsockamnesty

I didn't mention what the child wants (although I did post up-thread that the child should be called whatever they prefer) I said school and parent.