To call my grandchild the name he has just been given.

[timetobackout]

My daughter has just had her first child, our first grandchild, mother and baby
doing fine,very exciting time for all of us.However she has given the little boy
two perfectly nice ordinary names, say David Charles, but the plan is
obviously to call him by his initials,so a conversation could go
'Hi Mum Deecee has put on another 2ozs'
'Lovely darling, glad David is feeding well , Aunt Matilda has rang to ask if
you could put some pictures of David in the post'
'Yes, I've got some lovely pictures of Deecee on the computer' etc etc
So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided, but this is obviously a short term solution, but I just refuse to call him Deecee for the
next twenty years

Just ASK if they mind! It's really that simple.

My dd is called, lets say, Penelope. We call her 'Penny' which is dd's preferred name and the name by which everyone else knows and calls her. MIL insists on calling her Penelope. We just shrug. What is the difference?

The child won't mind whatever you call him.

I have a friend whose niece started off with one name, with an associated nn that we all called her. But then her parents changed her name slightly and the nn no longer worked; except that was what everyone was used to calling her. Even when she herself could first speak, the old nn was the name she used for herself (easier than her real name). Then her cousin called her something else again, and she answered to all of these names happily. Still does, as a teenager (She is very laid back though! )

Some children have strong opinions on these matters!

I, and my elder sister, have perfectly acceptable names but were always referrerd to as Dotty and Tillymint. Younger sis also had nice name but is still [at 45] called 'Golden child'.

If my mum called my son david instead of dc, I wouldn't care less- I'd have named him that after all.

Casually ask your daughter if she minds. She might not give two hoots.

I know a child who is referred to as JC - thought it was odd to start with, but just I just got used to the fact that's what everyone called him. At school he's known as JC.

I think you either need to try and accept (after all most important thing is you have a lovely grandson) or have a word with your DD, explain you love his first name and is she happy for you to call him that, or do her and SIL really want everyone to call him DC.

We're all different, my MIL didn't like the name we choose for our DD as it was very well known. She did say to me about two years later, I do like that name - now I've got used to it!

Is it John-Paul/JP, by any chance?

Every John-Paul I know has been called JP. One of them shortens it to 'Japes', which I'm sure isn't what his parents intended.
But I think JP is a valid 'name' in itself

Ask your daughter. If she minds, she can tell you. There's no need to 'test' her response - just ask.

timetobackout ask if the parents mind you using the proper first name, if they don't then the coast is clear. When he is older he may go with David or Dave but possibly not until he is much older.

Please do not make this an issue with your daughter at this special and important time. Making her feel uncomfortable about the name of her baby is a sure fire way to cause some rifts and that is so unhelpful. In the long run you will lose out (possibly) because your daughter may end up avoiding conversations with you about your grandson.

I think you are making an issue unnecessarily. I'd be pretty annoyed with you if you were my mum. Just call him D.C. That is his nickname according to his parents.

Loving the notion of a Sunday Best name.

I know an AJay who is Aiden James. Parents shortened to AJay as a 'nickname' and it stuck.

I wouldn't think to call him anything other than the name his parents use, which is Ajay.

"but the plan is obviously to call him by his initials"

Is that what you have been told then?

If so, of course you should do it.

For me, if my daughter called her baby by his initials, I wouldn't assume that I was to as well.

I get the rage when I read a name thread and a long winded version of a name the op really likes is suggested, eg op says 'I love the name Lenny, what do you think?' in barges 100 posters saying 'please call him Lenard on the bc'
No. Just don't. Because there will always be someone using Lenard because they prefer it, and if you correct them it will be thrown back at you that it's the name you chose. So with the best of intentions you have given your child a name you don't care for, and will be a bit ridiculed for asking someone to use the name you actually want him to have.
This is why my child's bc name is a nn.

My PiL refuse to use shortened versions of names.

When DS was born, we used his full name for almost a whole week before it naturally changed to a common shortening which stuck. He's 8 now and prefers this shortening (his name has a lot of options and we've talked through them all and the one we use is the one he prefers) and we have asked school to refer to him as this too. He knows he has a long version of his name but has chosen the short one. His grandfather still refuses to use it and this occasionally upsets him. It certainly upset me as a brand new mum when hormones were high and I was feeling vulnerable and like all of my decisions were wrong and being questioned.

I may have suggested that DS calls Granddad (the name he has chosen) 'Grumps' instead. After all, it seems he believes that the name is for the call-er to choose not the call-ee and 'Grumps' does seem to fit

DD's name was chosen assuming that we would shorten it and yet the nn never stuck so she is now 6 and still goes by her long name everywhere. She also knows that she has other options but prefers her long name. It's her choice.

Sometimes names evolve. I know one little boy who was named with the assumption that his initials would always be used and when I saw him last week (now aged 3) he was called by his first name by everyone including his parents so again the nn didn't stick.

They're getting used to being parents for the first time and working out what works and what doesn't. Why not support them through this difficult time rather than causing a fuss over nothing and making life harder?

since birth we used the shorterned version of my ds's name but PIL refuse to do the same.

It grates every time they say it and comes across as a power thing.

I really don't see why there should be a problem calling him by his real name. I have a grandson and sometimes I use my own pet name for him. Nobody bothers. Most kids soon get used to the fact that different family members have different names for them.Why should the name they use be rigidly adhered to. Sometimes nick names are given out by friends or siblings and those names often carry on into adulthood, whether the parents like it or not. Fwiw I really don't get why anyone would want to call their child by the initials. I wouldn't make an issue of it though.

If they wanted to call the baby "DC" why didn't they call the baby "DC" and not a "long" name they can't be bothered, I assume, to use? I just don't get why someone would name their baby Michelangelo then say "No, it's Bob."

I really doubt it's a case of 'not being bothered' to use his full name. They probably gave it a lot of thought and decided it might be sensible by giving him a way out of using DC later on in life if he decided he didn't like it.

Once the child is older and being naughty, the full name - plus surname - will be in order speaks from experience

If the parents haven't said outright, 'everyone is to call him DC', then I don't think there is any harm in calling him David. DC may just be 'their' special nickname. If they have said 'his name is DC', then I think you have to respect that.

My cousin called their child something ridiculous, not quite Kandy-Crush, but not far off. The 'saying it through gritted teeth' feeling does wear off.

My DM calls both of my sons by their full names even though everyone else, including them, uses the shortened versions. She does it because she loves both names. Every time she does it, it reminds me that I love their names too - it's all good.

Why do you refuse to call him by a name everyone else uses? What if when he grows up he decides he likes being called DC? Why would you refuse to address him that way? To be blunt, why is his name all about you?

What a lot of fuss over calling a child by their actual name 0_o

If the parents kick up a fuss about this wait till they get to secondary school and the teachers start using the name on the birth certificate.

Think of the fun that they will have when his mates call him
Dave
David
Davy
Dav
Da
Davros
or Just D

and any other connotations that mates come up with.