Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my grandchild the name he has just been given.

222 replies

timetobackout · 22/10/2015 11:23

My daughter has just had her first child, our first grandchild, mother and baby
doing fine,very exciting time for all of us.However she has given the little boy
two perfectly nice ordinary names, say David Charles, but the plan is
obviously to call him by his initials,so a conversation could go
'Hi Mum Deecee has put on another 2ozs'
'Lovely darling, glad David is feeding well , Aunt Matilda has rang to ask if
you could put some pictures of David in the post'
'Yes, I've got some lovely pictures of Deecee on the computer' etc etc
So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided, but this is obviously a short term solution, but I just refuse to call him Deecee for the
next twenty years

OP posts:
squoosh · 22/10/2015 11:42

I just think for a while you'll have to get used to your dd calling you dgs by his nickname. But stick by your guns on what you wish. It will just become routine.

Are you suggesting she sticks her heels in till the parents come around and start calling him David too?

ConstanceMarkYaBitch · 22/10/2015 11:42

YANBU, but you'll be told by the "my bubz my rulz" folk on here that the parents not only get to name the baby, they also get to control all nicknames as well. And you better not even look at the child without asking permission either.
The posessiveness over every single aspect of child is a very MN thing. Out there in the real world however, its not that odd for granny to call grandchild by their name, or even a nickname/pet name that they came up with all by themselves and weren't banned from using!

trulybadlydeeply · 22/10/2015 11:43

Just to add, my DD is known by her nickname - when she went to secondary school, she said that she want to be known as... and she is, all the time, aside for exam certificates, UCAS applications etc.

threenotfour · 22/10/2015 11:44

Yep YABU. It's the name the parents want him to be called. I guess they hadn't imagined that you were going to be awkward otherwise they may have just not bothered with the full names and just called him the initials in the first. Just get over it and call him what the parents want him to be known as. He might choose to use the longer version when he's older but that will be his decision.

hufflebottom · 22/10/2015 11:46

No. OPs daughter will probably always call her ds DeeCee. But OP will always say David. It will become a routine and something they will get used to. Especially if OP isn't happy with the nickname. So if she sticks to calling GS by full name it will become he norm.

pebbletime · 22/10/2015 11:47

I remember when naming my ds my mother asking:
'and what was your second choice of name?'. He was 6m old at the time...

I don't much like initials as a name either but you just have to go with it.

You can call him 'David' in your own head and to your friends etc.
And he may prefer David himself when older?

Why not just say to your Dd: 'is it okay if I call him the 'longer version' of his name, ie David?' and see what she says. Then stick with her call on it.

CrapBag · 22/10/2015 11:47

YABU. Its not your choice what they parents want to call their baby so you will have to suck it up. If my family deliberately refused to call my children by the names I have given them I wouldn't be too happy.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 22/10/2015 11:47

Are you suggesting she sticks her heels in till the parents come around and start calling him David too?

no they are saying dig your heels in and the parents will realise it really isn't that import in the big scheme of things.

EponasWildDaughter · 22/10/2015 11:48

So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided,

I just refuse to call him Deecee ...

You could avoid tensions completely if you'd stop ''refusing'' to do something and insisting on going against the grain with your family.

Backforthis · 22/10/2015 11:48

'It's the name the parents want him to be called. I guess they hadn't imagined that you were going to be awkward otherwise they may have just not bothered with the full names and just called him the initials in the first.'

^ This.

EponasWildDaughter · 22/10/2015 11:49

Or just carry on doing what you like and piss your DD off. Up to you entirely.

LemonBreeland · 22/10/2015 11:49

Whether or not you are unreasonable depends on the conversations you have already had with your DD. Did she introduce her son as David Charles, or we have named him David Charles but we will be calling him DC. If the latter then YABU, if the former then it is okay to call him DAvid I would say.

pebbletime · 22/10/2015 11:49

and, Congratulations on your first grandchild - what a lovely time for you all.
Enjoy him.x

Backforthis · 22/10/2015 11:50

And it's really easy to change a birth certificate in the first 12 months ...

GnomeDePlume · 22/10/2015 11:51

YABU and setting yourself up to look a bit silly. My DFiL made a pronouncement that he would not be calling DD1 by the shortening we wanted her to be known by.

Very quickly he realised (DMiL may have firmly pointed it out) that he was making himself look a bit silly and then he got over himself and used the same name everyone else was using.

squoosh · 22/10/2015 11:51

Yes. If your DD doesn't mind you referring to him as David well then obviously that's fine. But if your grandson gets to 3 years of age and tells you to stop calling him David you'd be extremely unreasonable to continue.

AuntieStella · 22/10/2015 11:52

Call the DC what the parents call the DC. In this case DC.

bastardcat · 22/10/2015 11:53

YABU

You had your turn at naming your daughter and she is having her turn naming her son. If she wanted to call him Beelzebub bandisnatch it would still be her choice. Don't upset her over this and take the shine off of her experience of being a new Mum.

There are going to be other parenting choices she makes that you may not agree with - how many of those will you 'just refuse' do do?

Congratulations on your new grandson. Enjoy him. Enjoy seeing your daughter be a Mother. Just let it go.

GlacindaTheTroll · 22/10/2015 11:54

Idly wonders if he was conceived in Washington.

The parents have chosen his name, but given a more formal label on the birth certificate. Only time will tell if it becomes the name he's generally known by, or if it stays an intimate family nickname. If you don't want to be part of that family intimacy, that's up to you.

hufflebottom · 22/10/2015 11:55

Then OP takes that into account. But to be honest by 3 he would of got used to OP calling him his full name.

16 of us did. And my dc2 when he/she arrived will too. It's a known fact. Gran will call everyone by their full name, we accept it. It's one of those things we get on with.

Original poster
timetobackout · 22/10/2015 11:55

Ok, the jury has spoken Deecee it is then(through gritted teeth) and I certainly wont fallout with my daughter over it.

OP posts:
ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 22/10/2015 11:56

Beelzebub bandisnatch Grin

I want to have another baby now, just to use this name.

Helloitsme15 · 22/10/2015 11:56

YABVU.
Not your baby, not your choice.
But if you keep working at it, I am sure you'll succeed in turning this into a nice big family row. Which must be what you are after because I can't see another reason why you'd be so petty.

Anastasie · 22/10/2015 11:57

I think you should ask your daughter what she prefers you to call him, say you find dc uncomfortable as to you it feels like being disrespectful though you understand it isn't for her to call him that.

Ask if she minds you calling him David.

I would struggle to call a child something so overly casual, myself, but you can't just unilaterally decide what to call him against her wishes.

Just be calm and polite about it. You sound a bit childish/petulant.

Anastasie · 22/10/2015 11:58

Maybe she called him that to piss you off and will cringe if you call him it too...really, just blooming ask her.

Act like a grown up.