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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call my grandchild the name he has just been given.

222 replies

timetobackout · 22/10/2015 11:23

My daughter has just had her first child, our first grandchild, mother and baby
doing fine,very exciting time for all of us.However she has given the little boy
two perfectly nice ordinary names, say David Charles, but the plan is
obviously to call him by his initials,so a conversation could go
'Hi Mum Deecee has put on another 2ozs'
'Lovely darling, glad David is feeding well , Aunt Matilda has rang to ask if
you could put some pictures of David in the post'
'Yes, I've got some lovely pictures of Deecee on the computer' etc etc
So far by calling him the baby a lot tensions have been avoided, but this is obviously a short term solution, but I just refuse to call him Deecee for the
next twenty years

OP posts:
Bimblywibble · 22/10/2015 18:50

I think it's fair enough to ask what they'd prefer, if it hasn't already got quite snippy and pointed. One of my children has been called by her shortening from birth but I am fine with people using the long name. Not sure I'd have been so happy when she was brand new, i can't really remember.

At nursery and when she started school we put down her 'known as' shortening and she was called by that. Now she is older, she's decided she likes the long version so her current teacher calls her that.

DingbatsFur · 22/10/2015 18:55

YABU...
But I agree, DeeCee is a bit silly.
Buy the Minion film and some of the merchandise, there is a lovely minion called Dave.

WeAreEternal · 22/10/2015 19:04

A friend of mine wanted to do similar, she loved the idea of her DS being called CJ (we had a friend that went by RJ at school and she thought it was a great nickname).

So she named her DS Christopher James and insisted everyone only call him CJ, quite a few relatives refused and it drove my friend mad, she actually went NC with a few people because "if you can't call him by the name we want him to be called by then you won't see him at all"
It went on for a few months until she finally let it go and decided people could call him whatever they wanted.

By his first birthday most people including my friend were calling him Christopher most of the time.

Six years later and nobody calls him CJ, he is Christopher (or Christopher James if he is misbehaving) I don't think even my friend has called him CJ for years.

I would just go along with what your DD wants, it's her baby she can decide what she wants him to be called, it maybe that the NN doesn't stick like in my friends case.

MatildaTheCat · 22/10/2015 19:04

My friend has a son she always refers to as H. I see that as a very personal nickname and would never use it, so refer to him as Horace * as does everyone else outside their immediate family.

Since David is a lovely name and you are granny I think you are quite all right to use it. If your dd pulls you up then I guess you'd have to give in.

Have you actually asked her?

shutupanddance · 22/10/2015 19:06

FgsHalloween Biscuit

DickDewy · 22/10/2015 19:07

I can understand your frustration, but as others have said, you'll have to just go with it.

It could be so, so much worse. Imagine if you were Katie Price's mum and had to call your grandchildren Princess, Junior and whatever the other 2 ridiculous names are.

Littlecaf · 22/10/2015 19:21

YABU.

My DM constantly avoids using my DS's name. She calls him "Little littlecaf pops" instead of just littlecaf. All because we chose the same name as my DUncle (DFs DB, so not even her DB!) I wouldn't mind but it's not some awful made up or weird name, think along the lines of Connor - and it's actually my DUncles middle name! She just can't think of their being another Connor and it's winding me up!

Just use the name they want. It's not yours to choose. The child will choose when they are older anyway.

verystressedmum · 22/10/2015 19:22

You might not like the name but you should just call him whatever your dd wants him to be called, you'll risk pissing her off and/or looking ridiculous and a bit up yourself if you don't.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 22/10/2015 19:36

My mum hates shortened names. She winces when people call me by my nickname in her hearing. I have three children. Two of whom have nicknames related to their names (think Bob instead of Robert type names). She found it hard to accept them, but she tried. Both children have kept their nicknames, and my mum now couldn't imagine them being regularly called by their formal names.

In short, it may seem horrid now, but will become second nature soon :)

merrymouse · 22/10/2015 19:44

Usually I would say go with the parent's choice, but I think it's going to be a long battle to convince everybody else to call him by his initials once he starts school or nursery. You could be doing him a favour by introducing him to the fact that his name is David.

ForalltheSaints · 22/10/2015 19:44

Your grandchild will need to know his real name often enough in life so why not?

junebirthdaygirl · 22/10/2015 19:50

My dp called me a name and shortened it straight away..say Elizabeth to Liz. My Gp continued to call me Elizabeth and so did aunts and uncles. They still do 50 years later.( not Gp of course!) My own kids think it's hilarious as sounds so formal but l don't blink as so used to it all my life. Saying that l think you should call him whatever his parents want. It's their prerogative to decide not yours.

ForChina · 22/10/2015 20:04

I don't think you're unreasonable to want to... but you really do have to call the child whatever stupid name your daughter has chosen as the one they want him to be known by. You might find the nickname version gets dropped in time.

InQuiteAPickle · 22/10/2015 21:45

Why did she call him David Charles if you aren't allowed to call him David? Confused why didn't they just call him DC?

My DD is Charlotte but she's been Lottie from birth. I love both names but I always introduce her as Lottie. She was known as Lottie at nursery, all my friends call her Lottie, all HER friends call her Lottie. At school she is Charlotte on the register but her teacher calls her Lottie and she is known mostly as Lottie.

However, my mum doesn't like shortened names so always calls her Charlotte. That's fine - it is her name. If I didn't like it I would have just had her as Lottie on the Birth Certificate! DH's Dad also calls her Charlotte and it's no problem.

Pipbin · 22/10/2015 21:59

It's what his teachers etc will use as I can't see many schools using DeeCee as a name in class

No- I have taught a child who was addressed as his initials rather than name. I always called him that as did every other member of staff. When he was a little older he decided that he's rather be called his given name so we all switched to that.

Forestdreams · 22/10/2015 22:06

I agree with Pipbin. Teachers and nursery will use the name the parents put in the "known as" box, no matter their personal views on the name, until he tells them otherwise.

DixieNormas · 22/10/2015 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 22/10/2015 22:15

Is your daughter actually insisting you call the baby Deecee?

I know people who call their children things like Mimimoo, or Billyboo (yes really!) but don't expect anyone else to.

reni2 · 22/10/2015 22:25

OP has conceded more than 100 posts and 10 hours ago she will go with Deecee as requested.

MilkyChops · 22/10/2015 22:41

My partner is registered as (for example), Simon Brian Smith. After he had been registered his Grandma said, you can't call a baby Simon and since then he has been known as 'Brian', to the point where if you called 'simon' walking down the street he'd not bat an eyelid.

It makes things ever so complicated Hmm.

reni2 · 22/10/2015 22:44

He'd be Essbee on this thread.

Justanotherday1 · 23/10/2015 08:41

My mil did something similar to this nut shortened it and pretended her full name didn't exist. I.e say did was called Jennifer Louise she would call her Jenny or Jenny Louise. It annoyed me a bit but now dd is old enough she insists that her full name is written down but happy to be called the shortened version. I guess what I'm saying is you will get use to the name and your grandchild will decide what they want to be called and I hope you respect their wishes! My mil has with my dd so we are all happy

BumpTheElephant · 23/10/2015 14:16

YANBU. If his first name is David then what's wrong with calling him that??

I always use my children's full first name but several relatives call them shortened versions of their names. It's never bothered me in the slightest! Call him David.

Panickingalot · 23/10/2015 14:23

If this is something that is so upsetting it warrants a thread you must live a very easy, boring, no-worries life.

Get a grip, it's not your child. Concentrate on something else. Biscuit

Stripyhoglets · 23/10/2015 14:34

I gave my son a name that can be shortened 2 different ways with the intention of using one shortened version. She tried calling him the long version for a bit bit eventually gave in. She now says we called him the long version for a while too but we need l never did seriously. Anyway ask them if they want everyone to use the initials or can you also use the longer names. Then do what it is they say they would prefer!

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