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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want some notice if someone is coming round?

138 replies

Rubberduckies · 20/10/2015 23:28

I don't mind anyone coming round to our house, but am I being unreasonable to expect to know they're coming beforehand ?

I don't need much notice, a text to say 'just popping round, be there in 10mins' would be fine. I would prefer them to ask rather than assume it's ok, but hey, I think I'm a reasonable person!

What I really dislike, is cooking dinner, or busy doing something, or just relaxing and someone knocking on the door because 'I was just passing'

So wise mners, AIBU?

OP posts:
timelytess · 20/10/2015 23:30

No-one should arrive at your door without fair warning - a week is appropriate, anything less is not.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 20/10/2015 23:32

YNBU. I hate unexpected visitors. It'd very rare I actually answer the door though.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 20/10/2015 23:33

10mins notice is nice, but if it's a choice between call unannounced or not call at all then I'd rather they turned up unannounced. I'd rather have too many visitors than too few.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 20/10/2015 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinotblush · 20/10/2015 23:35

I dont like to be taken by surprise either and like a bit of warning.

Bloomsberry · 20/10/2015 23:41

But what would you do with a ten-minute warning? I mean, I'm either at work or working from home during the day, and if I am at home, I never answer the door, and the only response someone would get to a text would be 'Working, talk later.' But why would ten minutes notice make a visit ok? What do you do in those ten minutes? Hide the sex toys? Rush about with a duster? Put on make-up?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2015 23:45

Yanbu.
You might need to clean the cat sick off the door mat, change out of the slobbing clothes, put the hoover round, finish shagging DH, whatever.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 20/10/2015 23:46

Yanbu.
You might need to clean the cat sick off the door mat, change out of the slobbing clothes, put the hoover round, finish shagging DH, whatever.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 20/10/2015 23:47

Quick tidy up and run the vac round if I hadn't already done it that day. I always answer the door.

Francoitalialan · 20/10/2015 23:48

YANBU and without exception the people who do this are either socially defunct or are controlling types who like to catch you off guard.

Bloomsberry · 20/10/2015 23:57

I suppose I can't imagine wanting to see someone who would even register tidiness or what I was wearing. Our neighbour called in briefly to drop off something today while I was working from home, and had to deal with my 'writing uniform' (unbrushed hair, yoga trousers, odd hiking socks, and a RELAX tshirt) and the fact that the house is a wilderness of toys and books because the cleaner cancelled.

shadowfax07 · 21/10/2015 00:03

Does this include neighbours popping in briefly to let you know about something? If so, I'm guilty of repeated faux-pas (mind you, so are the neighbours I pop in on) Shock

TheLambShankRedemption · 21/10/2015 00:05

I think you fall into one of two camps: bothered or not bothered. Yanbu if you are a bothered person because that's just who you are. I am a not bothered person. That doesn't mean I will just show up, but i am not bothered by people popping over to me. If I lived close by to my mum, I know I could pop by anytime as she too is a not bothered person. But I don't Sad

The week's notice point seems like insanity to me but I appreciate there are people like that in RL. I would feel mortified if someone was in the area and didn't feel like they could call me and pop over in 10 mins, especially if they were from far away.

justkeeponsmiling · 21/10/2015 00:08

YANBU!!!!!!
The other day my friend came round unannounced. I was nackerd from working night shifts. Still in PJs, teeth not brushed, enjoying an hour of peace before DCs came home from school.
She knocked for a while. I didn't answer.
Eventually, she JUST WALKED INTO MY HOUSE!!! WTAF?! Straight into my living room!! Apparently she "was worried something had happened to me"?! Right.
I think she's an ex-friend now. I know this may be weird but I just can't cope with people doing shit like that.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/10/2015 00:10

She walked into your house. Shock. How rude. Talk about not taking no for an answer.

Whatsername24 · 21/10/2015 00:13

YANBU. I like to have some warning. We've also had a few instances where SIL has been in the area, said she was going to visit but failed to turn up. That's happened 4 times now, and we've sat in waiting and even cancelled plans to be in for her.

AnnaMarlowe · 21/10/2015 00:17

You can do lots in 10 minutes

justkeeponsmiling · 21/10/2015 00:19

She knocked for ages, then just walked in. It was really awkward as I was jusy lying on the sofa looking like death watching crap on tv. But it made me soooo angry! I think I'm a bit weird though...

justkeeponsmiling · 21/10/2015 00:20

She knocked for ages, then just walked in. It was really awkward as I was jusy lying on the sofa looking like death watching crap on tv. But it made me soooo angry! I think I'm a bit weird though...

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/10/2015 00:32

Well I must be weird too tgen, Smiling because that would piss me right off. I hate anyone invading my space.

Paddletonio · 21/10/2015 00:33

Would like at least half hour notice of someone coming over

Whatsername24 · 21/10/2015 00:42

When my MIL comes to stay DH gives her a key as she just comes and goes throughtout the day, may come back while I'm out and be unable to get in. It drives me crazy that she just comes walking through the door with no notice. If it was me and I had the key to someone's house I'd still knock or ring the bell, and I'd only let myself in if I was certain they were out.

ChilliAndMint · 21/10/2015 00:42

My place used to be an open house..alas after a few rather nasty experiences I clam up when I hear my doorbell.

It is really bad manner to turn up unannounced,,

justkeeponsmiling · 21/10/2015 01:02

Ilive I cannot tell you how comforting it is to hear I'm not alone in absolutely hating having my personal space invaded like that Smile

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/10/2015 01:04

I think a lot of people are like us, Smiling.

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