Why does she have a problem with me making an effort to do things with my kids?

[Neve81]

Afternoon, just posting really in order to vent as i'm rather ticked off with a friend of mine, well she's a friend of a friend really, I only see her when I meet up with our mutual friend and I occasionally speak with her on Facebook.

Basically I've posted on Facebook that i'm excited for the next couple of weeks as the kids are off for half term and I have lots of little activities planned, mainly centered around Halloween as we are Halloween obsessed lol. We are going on an organised spooky walk in the woods, to a Halloween session at jungle gyms, pumpkin picking down at our local farm, Halloween and fireworks night at our local garden centre and we are having a Halloween party at our house for family and some of the kids friends.

I'm a sahm whilst my dh's works full time so the last couple of years (used to work 60 hours a week previously) I've put a lot of time and effort into making things like Halloween and Bonfire night (and Xmas of course) lots of fun for my kids who are now 10 9 and 5 and I genuinely enjoy it, but as it turns out this "friend" of mine has a problem with this.

Not long after I'd posted on Facebook she posted something along the lines of "I can't understand why parents feel the need to go over the top every half term spoiling their kids with tons of days outs and for Halloween who the hell has a party and splashes out out on doing their house up, waste of money in my opinion, clearly these parents have too much time on their hands and are overcompensating for something by going overboard" Now this kind of made my blood boil as she was clearly having a go at me on the sly, and I can't understand why. We are both different, we do different
things with our kids and I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?

I don't think it's a massive assumption that it is jealousy. If she knew the person would read it then it's a form of revenge. If you take it back a step and think about why someone might feel like that it is usually rooted in jealousy. Yes it could be she is fed up with posts about other people's plans, but what is the root feeling behind that?

Halloween is much more commercialised than before. But so is Christmas, as Easter is getting that way.

I wouldn't have posted on your FB

However, I would have probably thought .... oh here we go another nausebox can't enjoy family time without a low down well in advance of the whole theatrical show.

I certainly wouldn't feel jealous though.
Infact quite the opposite.

I would have felt excited for you. How great to have organised some fun things to do together. Who cares what the fun-sponges think.

Do fun sponges not soak up the fun and absorb it?

I am also the type to feel excited for you and get ideas

I thought the OP said she was a SAHM. What's a WOHP? Sorry to be thick!

Work out of home parent :)

Agree Only - jealously is the very last thing that I'd have felt.

WOHP is a working outside the home parent. The OP's friend is one, whereas the OP is a sahp - and puts a lot of time and effort into making things Fun! for her DC. The friend just sticks hers in front of the TV apparently.

Well I really didn't mean to annoy anyone and apart from her I don't think I have.

I've found that posting about kids all the time, plans, activities, photos etc etc. Does indeed annoy just about everyone, most won't say anything though.
If the OP is a SAHM that posts endlessly about her kids etc then I could totally see the other friend getting annoyed.
Also, interestingly, the OP is a friend of a friend of the 'jelous' poster. I'd assume they don't know each other too well so for all OP knows , the woman has things that stop her doing lots with their kids. This wouldn't lead to jealousy necessarily, she might actually be depressed because she can't so as much with her kids.

I think it's easy to judge her and say she's jealous, walk a mile in her shoes though and it might change your mind.

Or she might be hard up. All of those activities that the OP mentions cost money - funds that not everyone might have.

To be fair, I think the OP did say all but one of the things were free.

A Halloween session at jungle gyms, pumpkin picking down at our local farm, Halloween and fireworks night at the local garden centre and a Halloween party at her house for family and some of the kids friends.

I'm failing to see how that lot are free. Organised walk in the woods might well be, but the rest? Definitely costs associated with them.

WOHP - oh, of course, thank you! Although the OP definitely said the friend was a SAHM like her. People who post endlessly on facebook about the same thing can be irritating, whether it's kids, politics, fitness, etc, etc. However, if this is why the friend posted what she did I think it's still really nasty and says far more about her than the OP. If someone's posts annoy me that much, I simply hide their posts or even un friend!

Apologies - I thought she said the friend was a WOHP, no idea where I got that from!

I was thinking the same, See you.
I think it could be a bit of jealousy resentment and depression. We can't all be Mr of Mrs Tumble.
, and with the greatest respect you're judging her for just plonking her kids in front of the TV. Maybe that's all she can afford.

With the greatest respect. Not every mother has the extremely fortunate luxury of being a SAHM.

I really love Halloween and yours sounds great. However, there seems to be a certain section of the population who really, really hate it and will go on about how it's Americanised and blah blah. I bet if you'd posted your Christmas plans then she wouldn't have felt the need to comment.

Oh yeah, and block or defriend or whatever. It's blissful.

Oh my lord.
She should have posted about her Christmas plans instead and that would have been better!

have you read the shitstorm that attaches to everything Christmas related on Facebook? And often on here too tbh.

OP, your plans sound pretty similar to mine this Halloween

I'm excited for all the autum fun and it might possibly get a few mentions on fb. I haven't had a holiday since 2010, we very rarely go on "big" days out because we can only afford one or two a year, but I would never sit there sour faced looking at my friends experiences and call them "smug, braggy" etc.

I do get jealous, it hurts a bit that I can't give my kids what they can but I hope they wouldn't see a similar post to OP's (posted by me) and begrudge me being excited for the things I i am able to do with them.