Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does she have a problem with me making an effort to do things with my kids?

218 replies

Neve81 · 15/10/2015 12:31

Afternoon, just posting really in order to vent as i'm rather ticked off with a friend of mine, well she's a friend of a friend really, I only see her when I meet up with our mutual friend and I occasionally speak with her on Facebook.

Basically I've posted on Facebook that i'm excited for the next couple of weeks as the kids are off for half term and I have lots of little activities planned, mainly centered around Halloween as we are Halloween obsessed lol. We are going on an organised spooky walk in the woods, to a Halloween session at jungle gyms, pumpkin picking down at our local farm, Halloween and fireworks night at our local garden centre and we are having a Halloween party at our house for family and some of the kids friends.

I'm a sahm whilst my dh's works full time so the last couple of years (used to work 60 hours a week previously) I've put a lot of time and effort into making things like Halloween and Bonfire night (and Xmas of course) lots of fun for my kids who are now 10 9 and 5 and I genuinely enjoy it, but as it turns out this "friend" of mine has a problem with this.

Not long after I'd posted on Facebook she posted something along the lines of "I can't understand why parents feel the need to go over the top every half term spoiling their kids with tons of days outs and for Halloween who the hell has a party and splashes out out on doing their house up, waste of money in my opinion, clearly these parents have too much time on their hands and are overcompensating for something by going overboard" Now this kind of made my blood boil as she was clearly having a go at me on the sly, and I can't understand why. We are both different, we do different
things with our kids and I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?

OP posts:
MerdeAlor · 16/10/2015 11:37

and time to drink gin too I hope Lovelyfriend?

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 11:54

oh yes - gin, wine, rum, I am fueled by it all (i suspect this is why MY flying broomsticks for cupcakes are spluttering disasters rather than fluttering in the faces of every Mum and face painted child I know)

Only1scoop · 16/10/2015 12:00

Perhaps you need my homemade sloe gin ....served from my own hand crafted stained glass goblets to enliven your broomsticks some vah vah vroom!!

Wink
ChipsandGuac · 16/10/2015 12:01

Well if we're going to compete, I must be the world's worst mother as I send my kids to a school that doesn't even get half term.
#fuckyouallandyourpumpkins

SaucyJack · 16/10/2015 12:13

No no no Only1, all the SHAMs in the know drink their gin disguised in a travel coffee mug.

Certainly makes all those country walks and school fetes a bit more interesting.

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 12:22

Only Finally I have found your Achilles heel.

Yes I seethingly envy your sloe skills but your glittery wine goblets have me feeling all superior again!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 16/10/2015 12:26

We did a lantern workshop last year, where do i collect my prize? Grin

Caprinihahahaha · 16/10/2015 12:45

I have no glittery wine goblets [sadface]

Still - too pissed to care.

Only1scoop · 16/10/2015 12:49

Drat

Off to hand embellish my bucketBlush

Trick or treat stylie

LovelyFriend · 16/10/2015 12:58
Bunbaker · 16/10/2015 15:52

"I send my kids to a school that doesn't even get half term."

What kind of school has no half term? Isn't it a long stretch between September and Christmas without a break? Poor teachers.

SirChenjin · 16/10/2015 16:19

It'll be a private school - it's where all the poor, deprived children of WOHP get sent to press their little button noses up against the windows and watch the children of Fun! SAHP whizzing by on their home made broomsticks on their way to all their Exciting! little Halloween activities.

Bunbaker · 16/10/2015 16:54

All the private schools round here get half term. In fact they get two weeks for the autumn break.

fedupbutfine · 16/10/2015 16:57

so......you feel judged for wanting what you consider is best for your children....but you are happy to judge her for not doing what you consider is best for her children (which is none of your business) as well as deciding she mustn't be happy or she's miserable or something else....

does it occur to you in your perfect world where you stealth boast about what you are able to both do and afford that not everyone is obliged to do parenting the same as you? or that not everyone thinks that activities coming out of your ears is 'best'? or even enjoyable? or perhaps not everyone can afford it but actually, are still pretty decent parents anyway?

pearpotter · 16/10/2015 17:00

I think the OP's sort of post on Facebook is useful- if there are free activities going on other parents may want to bring their kids along or people she knows may say "Oh great, I'm going too - see you there!"

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 16/10/2015 17:15

Usually the free stuff is full booked by sharp elbowed parents, weeks in advance. Usually quietly wisppered to DC BFF ...

SirChenjin · 16/10/2015 17:33

I know Bun - I was being facetious! In hindsight I probably should have ended it with a Grin

ChipsandGuac · 17/10/2015 00:58

LOL Sir Chenjin!

Bun I wouldn't feel that sorry for the teachers. They've only had one full week in school since we went back 5 weeks ago after 14 weeks of summer break. The kids are all home by 2.30 and the teachers earn approximately twice the average of UK teachers. I would be a bit shocked if we were having a half term coming up tbh!

ihateminecraft · 17/10/2015 09:28

Unless you often post smug mummy posts, I suspect she's jealous and uncomfortable with the fact her kids spend the holidays in front of the TV. From what you've said, there's no obvious reason why she can't do things with her kids given that she's a SAHM, the activities are free and she's presumably not disabled, chronically ill or something?

I love spending time with my kids and spend hours trawling the net looking for ideas and deals. I sometimes share the results of my research on fb and have been thanked for doing so. I will also check in on fb (don't tend to post beforehand as you've done) as it is a nice record to look back on in future. I don't see it as being smug as most of the activities are cheap or free.

Ignore ignore, ignore and enjoy the time with your kids, they are little for such a short time!

SirChenjin · 17/10/2015 10:30

She's not a SAHM - she's WOHP, which is obviously where she's going wrong.

IguanaTail · 17/10/2015 10:37

She's jealous that's all. Ignore. I would block her posts but not de-friend her.

SirChenjin · 17/10/2015 10:40

Why is she jealous? Maybe she's just fed up of hearing about the Exciting! plans for little activities centred around various commercialised occasions weeks before they actually happen.

IguanaTail · 17/10/2015 10:42

It's next week, not weeks.

Maybe she is fed up. Maybe she's not jealous at all. Who knows. It's not a very pleasant thing to say - her intention must have been for the OP to read it and feel upset.

SirChenjin · 17/10/2015 10:51

Halloween is 2 weeks today, and the OP is posting about activities in the lead up to this (now) commercialised event. I suspect she didn't just start posting about it yesterday. As for the SAHM comment...

Who knows why she posted, you're right - but to say "she's jealous" is making a massive assumption. It seems to be a line that's trotted out often on MN though.

DrasticAction · 17/10/2015 10:58

Op who knows why she said it but its clear to make you upset which you are. why let and allow such negativity in?

block her and enjoy your halloween week!

we have a huge collection of halloween decs now, all picked up 70p recuded after halloween, I love it and am going all out, infact going up today