Why does she have a problem with me making an effort to do things with my kids?

[Neve81]

Afternoon, just posting really in order to vent as i'm rather ticked off with a friend of mine, well she's a friend of a friend really, I only see her when I meet up with our mutual friend and I occasionally speak with her on Facebook.

Basically I've posted on Facebook that i'm excited for the next couple of weeks as the kids are off for half term and I have lots of little activities planned, mainly centered around Halloween as we are Halloween obsessed lol. We are going on an organised spooky walk in the woods, to a Halloween session at jungle gyms, pumpkin picking down at our local farm, Halloween and fireworks night at our local garden centre and we are having a Halloween party at our house for family and some of the kids friends.

I'm a sahm whilst my dh's works full time so the last couple of years (used to work 60 hours a week previously) I've put a lot of time and effort into making things like Halloween and Bonfire night (and Xmas of course) lots of fun for my kids who are now 10 9 and 5 and I genuinely enjoy it, but as it turns out this "friend" of mine has a problem with this.

Not long after I'd posted on Facebook she posted something along the lines of "I can't understand why parents feel the need to go over the top every half term spoiling their kids with tons of days outs and for Halloween who the hell has a party and splashes out out on doing their house up, waste of money in my opinion, clearly these parents have too much time on their hands and are overcompensating for something by going overboard" Now this kind of made my blood boil as she was clearly having a go at me on the sly, and I can't understand why. We are both different, we do different
things with our kids and I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?

Just delete her. She clearly doesn't want to see what you post, you don't need to see digs at you, why bother.

Or ignore, and invite her kids to a halloween party.

Good for you for making things fun for your kids. They will have some great childhood memories because of you.

As for your friend, I'd post a reply - "but Halloween is FUN!" And attach some spooky Halloween music, maybe the Harry Potter theme tune. Just to annoy her further.

FGS, delete her. Or put her on 'restricted'. You don't have to let her anywhere near your social network stuff, if you choose.

Just respond with "Sorry I've made you feel inadequate. Would you like to bring your children to our party so they don't miss out?"

I can see how she has got your back up but I don't think you would be able to tell if she enjoys SAHM-inch more or less than you do unless you were very good friends.

I enjoy being a SAHM- but you'd never guess that based on my creative output or enthusiasm for Halloween. (Christmas -though- I can Martha Stewart the shit out of Christmas with the best of them)

TP her house if the miserable bastard doesn't open her door when you trick or treat her.
Disclaimer I fucking hate Halloween..

Or, you could say (before restricting/deleting):

"Miserable farts with too much time begrudging people enjoying Halloween should try taking the broomstick out of their arse for a while and try to smile if the muscles still work"

I was going to say that maybe she feels less able to do lots of activities because she works and you're a SAHM and was a bit envious but you've now said she's a SAHM too.
I'd have to be a bitch and post loads of annoying photos on fb of all the fun activities you've done
I'd love to do all that if I wasn't working

I am a FB novice so can someone tell me - if you block someone, do they know about it? Or do you just disappear from their news feed? OP, you sound great and your kids are going to have some fab memories of their childhoods. She is a miserable cow and her horrible, snide post just highlights that. OK, you have made her feel inadequate but there was no need to be so publicly nasty about it. Just block her (if she will know this) or, perhaps post "ooookay. Thanks for that" and then block the bitch.

If you block someone, that's it –they see nothing at all of yours anywhere on FB and vice versa. It's very effective!

They won't realise until they go to find you on a list (and won't even be able to look you up by name).

her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine

Its not fine though is it - I mean you really DON'T think this is a "fine" way to spend half term do you? (I'll put my hand up and say I don't either).

Everyone needs to remember that you can control to a large extent your FB experience. Just delete or block her so you don't see each others postings. maybe she was having a dig at you, maybe she wasn't, but surely life is really too short to care? If you don't like her that is fine - don't be her friend on FB either.

There is a person I know but don't like who is friends with friends of mine. I see her socially from time to time - not too often thankfully. She is always popping up on the "people you might want to be friends with" suggestions on FB - thankfully we both ignore them & have been doing so for years.

I fucking love Halloween as do my DC and although I work FT I will be doing as many fun activities as we possibly can over the Halloween weekend.

There's guilt, insecurity and projection going on, OP. Don't worry about it and enjoy your Halloween.

I've got to say though I don't know anyone on FB who posts about things they are planning on doing over the coming weeks.

Sounds like you have fabulous things planned and she is a miserable twat clearly unhappy about sthing within her own life.

Enjoy your Halloween!

She doesn't sound like much of a friend, does she. I know you've said "friend of a friend" but she's more like "PITA person who my friend knows" to you, so why keep her?
If you want to reduce what you see of hers, Hide her completely from your newsfeed; if you want to reduce what she sees of yours, then put her on a restricted list and limit what she can see.

I have a few organisations/people on a restricted list, and nearly all my posts, especially personal posts, are for "Friends except Restricted" (I had to set that up in Custom). So much easier!

I've posted on Facebook - This is your mistake. Do what you want, and crack on with doing it. People do not need a running commentary of your plans. If you invite them into your life my posting, they’ll have an opportunity to comment on your life. Remove that opportunity, and you remove the comments.

Thank you SuckingEggs! It's a shame that she doesn't receive notification if the OP blocks her. I would definitely feel like calling her out on her bitchiness before blocking!

See I just don't understand why you posted a list of your planned activities on FB.

It does smack of "Look what a good parent I am!"

She was stupid to post as she did but posts listing planned days out? What's the point of that if not to show off a bit?

I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?

The clue is in the question.

ignore her. but leave her reply up on fb. she made her self look silly by saying it. you dont need to say or do a thing.

Dang, if only modern life had a button you could click whereby you never needed to see the Facebook dribblings of idiots whom you don't know very well or care about....

Make her a meme and stick it in the comments.

m.memegenerator.net/instance/60961285

Then unfriend her. who needs all that?

I am another one that takes advantage of lots of days out on half-term holidays. We have things booked in already. DD rarely sees anyone from school over the holidays as they are often staying with family (for childcare reasons) or see the holidays as a chance to stay home and relax.

I don't map out our plans on Facebook though - I can see why you are excited (as I do the same thing) but I do think you are slightly asking for trouble putting it out there. It does look a bit boastful even if it's not meant to be.

When my DD was small, she hated crowds and large groups so we always had a quiet time. She's the opposite now, so we just give her the chance to get out and have fun!

OP has she always been a SAHM or has she worked while you've been a SAHM?

It may seem a strange question but I left Facebook because of seeing posts like yours. There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing all those lovely things with your kids, nothing at all , but I was just really envious of those parents who could do it when I couldn't because I have to work full-time and DD will often have to be in childcare during the holidays.

This year DH and I have split our holidays to cover as many with DD as we could which has meant we've had precisely 3 days off together as a family. I hate my job which doesn't help, but it pays well so I can't even find an alternative that I might enjoy because I would be earning minimum wage.

Having said all that, I took myself out of the situation by coming off of Facebook altogether and have been much happier since. Maybe she needs to do the same!

Enjoy your lovely half term, it sounds fab!