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Original poster

Why does she have a problem with me making an effort to do things with my kids?

218 replies

Neve81 · 15/10/2015 12:31

Afternoon, just posting really in order to vent as i'm rather ticked off with a friend of mine, well she's a friend of a friend really, I only see her when I meet up with our mutual friend and I occasionally speak with her on Facebook.

Basically I've posted on Facebook that i'm excited for the next couple of weeks as the kids are off for half term and I have lots of little activities planned, mainly centered around Halloween as we are Halloween obsessed lol. We are going on an organised spooky walk in the woods, to a Halloween session at jungle gyms, pumpkin picking down at our local farm, Halloween and fireworks night at our local garden centre and we are having a Halloween party at our house for family and some of the kids friends.

I'm a sahm whilst my dh's works full time so the last couple of years (used to work 60 hours a week previously) I've put a lot of time and effort into making things like Halloween and Bonfire night (and Xmas of course) lots of fun for my kids who are now 10 9 and 5 and I genuinely enjoy it, but as it turns out this "friend" of mine has a problem with this.

Not long after I'd posted on Facebook she posted something along the lines of "I can't understand why parents feel the need to go over the top every half term spoiling their kids with tons of days outs and for Halloween who the hell has a party and splashes out out on doing their house up, waste of money in my opinion, clearly these parents have too much time on their hands and are overcompensating for something by going overboard" Now this kind of made my blood boil as she was clearly having a go at me on the sly, and I can't understand why. We are both different, we do different
things with our kids and I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?

OP posts:
Janeymoo50 · 15/10/2015 14:05

I think she's jealous, maybe she'd love to do that sort of thing, but can't because of whatever reason (finances maybe for party things). I'd hide her posts and move swiftly on. I like this time of year too (although I do find some Halloween stuff a bit ott, but when I had care of little ones 30 years ago there was not so much fuss made of it).
Enjoy your Autumn/half term fun.

Shutthatdoor · 15/10/2015 14:07

I've posted on Facebook - This is your mistake. Do what you want, and crack on with doing it. People do not need a running commentary of your plans. If you invite them into your life my posting, they’ll have an opportunity to comment on your life. Remove that opportunity, and you remove the comments

^ this

donajimena · 15/10/2015 14:08

I'd be cheesed off if a friend of mine posted a status such as yours. Especially as you haven't done any of it yet!
Why do you feel the need to share? It would be great to see the pictures after the event but detailing such future plans shouts 'look at me'!
Do you do this a lot?

Perhaps it was the final straw

CocktailQueen · 15/10/2015 14:18

God. Just delete her. If she's only a friend of a friend, don't worry about what she thinks!

Getyercoat · 15/10/2015 14:21

I often wonder if people would do/plan/buy half the stuff they do if they couldn't post it on Facebook.

There's nowt as queer as folk. Some use Facebook to be really passive aggressive (this woman) others use it as a 'look at ME' facility.

Once you accept that some people will not like what you share on Facebook, you're sorted.

zzzzz · 15/10/2015 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 15/10/2015 14:27

How do you know she is referring to you?

Unless of course you have plastered the whole list of your Halloween extravaganza on FB.

Brioche201 · 15/10/2015 14:30

She thinks you are showing off, that's why.
Why are you posting about your plans before the event? the normal thing to do is post a few photos with a caption afterwards.
I think you should be aware that you might be coming across as performance parenting

Strawberryfield12 · 15/10/2015 14:31

And why do you even have among your FB friends people who regularly upset you?! I think you need a good cleanup on FB. You carry on doing what and how you consider right with your time and money, just be more picky with people you communicate, your life is not a bin to collect all sorts of crap there.

laureywilliams · 15/10/2015 14:37

You sound like a 'do-er' who enjoys having plans and making stuff happen.

She sounds like a negative whinge bag whose entertainment comes from sneering at other people who may be having more fun than her

She reminds me of those playground bitches who roll their eyes at the efforts of the PTA but happily use the new equipment or whatever it is and no I'm not on the PTA but hats off to what they do

Ignore.

TheCatsMother99 · 15/10/2015 14:42

Friend of a friend?.....

Delete!

Crabbitface · 15/10/2015 14:47

Yip what they all said. She's being a jealous bawbag. Unfollow and ignore and keep enjoying your time off with your kids. They'll remember all these awesome things for years to come and you will know that you gave then these memories. Who cares what some eejit on facey says.

TheImminentGin · 15/10/2015 14:51

It is fair enough not to want to engage in loads of Halloween activities.
It is fine if you do.
Neither is better nor worse parenting imo.
What is a bad idea is either of you commenting on the other.

BertrandRussell · 15/10/2015 14:54

" I just so happen to love getting out an about doing mostly free activities wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad. Now this is fine, it's up to her what she does but why judge me and try and belittle me?"

Nope. No judgement there! Grin

FartemisOwl · 15/10/2015 14:55

You could do an update along the lines of 'Ignoring my kids for half an hour while I indulge in my favourite hobby of being a sniper-viper on FB - doesn't it always make you feel so much better about yourself?' Grin
Nah, kidding. I'd think about it, but ultimately, let her wallow in her own rage. Post loads of happy, carefree stuff and don't even give her a second thought.

Duckdeamon · 15/10/2015 14:55

No excuse for her rudeness but your FB post, especially in advance of all these activities, was rather smug.

DontStopBelievin · 15/10/2015 14:59

I don't 'do' Halloween, but I do post to FB all the things that we do do. Smile
For example, if we've been blackberrying, hunting for different shaped leaves in the woods at autumn, or baking cakes, they all go on FB.
I don't get this attitude at all - I don't really see why things only seem to be 'real' and enjoyable to some people if they are posting about them on Facebook
Why think people don't think it's any less real if it's not posted on social media?! Confused They're perfectly aware it's real, they just want to share.
If you don't want to share what you're up to, or see what your friends are up to, well.... that's kind of what FB is for for most people.
If I posted a picture of one of our nature walks and then saw a passive aggressive status like that, I wouldn't bother saying anything - just hide all my future posts from her in future so she wouldn't see anything that would make her moan.

MerdeAlor · 15/10/2015 15:01

Who cares?

You do judge her wheras her idea of spending half term with her three kids is plonking them in front of the tv or Xbox whilst she's playing games on her iPad

Nice OP, you're as bad as each other.
Lol

squoosh · 15/10/2015 15:03

No. She's not as bad.

Lol.

Berylpeep · 15/10/2015 15:03

She's jealous.

That's the problem most of the time!

DontStopBelievin · 15/10/2015 15:05

As for your friend, I'd post a reply - "but Halloween is FUN!" And attach some spooky Halloween music, maybe the Harry Potter theme tune. Just to annoy her further.

That's exactly the kind of thing I do, but with Christmas. Grin
Someone will post "will everyone just feck off with all the Christmas posts, it's October..... raaargh!"
So I'll post a Buddy The Elf emoticon shouting "Sannnnta!" underneath it or just a great big "Merry Christmas!" banner. Grin

Original poster
Neve81 · 15/10/2015 15:06

I've already said that i'm not usually one for putting my plans on Facebook but come on, how is it boastful? All of the things apart from the jungle gyms is completely free of charge, it's not as though I'm flying my children first class to the states to celebrate Halloween, so I fail to see how it could be misconstrued as bragging.

OP posts:
overthemill · 15/10/2015 15:07

She's not a friend so if her posts upset you, just delete her from your friends list. You don't have to be friends with anybody on Facebook, it isn't compulsory and she won't even notice for ages

amarmai · 15/10/2015 15:12

i'd rather be your kid than hers!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 15/10/2015 15:14

OP your post would wind me up as well although i woundnt post back. My kids are tired after a term at school. They deserve chill out time, just wasting the days away. Its good for the sole.
We do go out and about, but i have no desire to tell everyone we are having a party, especially as they arent invited. Whats wrong with a basic trick or treat? Some one always has to go one better and then some. Id be surprised if shes the only one peed off with your boast posts... i bet there are lots!!

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