To get very cross when DSD wears this shirt?

[LittleSnaily]

DSD has a shirt that says "escaped from psycho ward" on it.

I find it really offensive. Do has explained this to her but she still wears it.

She is always talking about people being racist and homophobic and how dreadful it is but then she does this to wind me up!

I have been a mental health patient in the past so I'm probably hyper sensitive.

Aibu?

Pick your battles. Not this one.

I do voluntary work for an anti stigma organisation. Then my own DSD wears this! It's so embarrassing.

I think you are, personally.

If you're involved in doing her laundry I should warn you that sometimes items can mistakenly be put in the wrong place and disappear in the inner depths of the airing cupboard for a very long time.

Can it meet with an accident in the washing machine?

It's normal for teenagers to wear t-shirts like that. You can't expect her not to wear it because of your past. Sometimes you just have to try and not take things to heart.

The people saying have an accident with it are unfair. You can't just destroy something that belongs to someone else because you don't like it.

How old is she?

If she's a teenager I'd simply say it is offensive and she'll look back one day and be very embarrassed she wore it.

Then just leave her to it.

If she's younger I'd get your dh to bin it.

I'd say YANBU personally, I'd find it offensive. How old is she? Could your DP talk to her about it (maybe easier for him/her)?

Don't hide it. Refuse to wash it, by all means.

My mum was a mental health inpatient, most of my childhood memories with her involve visiting her there on the days she was stable enough and having guards with me, being searched.

Your DSD isn't belittling that. She's wearing a stupid shirt and most people will either ignore or roll their eyes, but she's young and it's what young people do. Half the country wear really sexual slogans at young age.

I don't think she's likely to be doing this to wind you up, more because she likes the top. And it shouldn't be more embarrassing for you because you work for an anti-stigma organisation, either - surely your organisation wants to educate people into making better choices and avoiding stigma, not force them to do it.

She'll grow out of it, and you'll find that any pictures of her wearing it disappear when she does.

"It's normal for teenagers to wear t-shirts like that."
Not round here!

I think you can refuse to launder it and to go out with her when she's wearing it. She is old enough to respect your feelings.

I too also find it offensive.

You can't make her wear or not wear anything as she's entitled to autonomy over her body. However, I YANBU to get cross. While I accept I can't control my own DD's wardrobe, I'd be having words about what messages she's sending out about and what that says about her own level of bigotry. I'd be very disappointed, truth be told. I've never suffered from any form of MH issue, but I'm appalled at the levels of stigma still associated with it in this country, and the fact it's still considered perfectly ok to lambast it in say comparison to race or sexual orientation.

Having said that, people will know that what she's wearing is no reflection of you - teenagers do stuff like that all the time.

Take it off of her.

Simple thing to do really.

I've taken a shirt off of DD which her idiot father bought her which I thought was unacceptable.

Sadik really? What do teenagers near you wear? T-shirts covered in fluffy bunnies and rainbows? Almost every teenager I've known had at least one t-shirt that would cause adults to make a face.

I've had mental health problems in the past, resulting in admission to an acute psychiatric ward at one point.
I wouldn't find this t shirt offensive.

It is no different to a racist or rape culture shirt as far as I can see. I think it's awful.

I agree with refusing to wash it. If she is old enough to understand why the shirt is offensive to you and decide to wear it anyway she is old enough to take responsibility for laundering it herself. She retains her autonomy in her clothing choices but you don't have to support her in wearing that particular shirt.

Ask her if she'd wear a t shirt making fun of other health problems, maybe saying peg-leg, spaz or cripple or does she only find mental health funny?

YANBU. Would people be saying to 'not take it to heart' if she was wearing a t shirt saying 'I'm a jungle bunny'? What about recent efforts to stop teenagers using the term 'gay' as a derogatory remark? At what point do you step in and stop a DC spreading prejudice? What about wearing a t shirt with the 'n' word?

Some of the posts show just how many people are still refusing to acknowledge that terms like 'psycho' or fancy dress of someone 'escaped from the asylum' are just as damaging and prejudiced as racist or homophobic 'fun' t shirts.

YANBU, gross top.

Has your DP explained clearly why you find this offensive? Would it help if you explained yourself? If she definitely understands and still continues to wear it I would treat it as disrespectful behaviour toward you and ask your partner to do the same. Do whatever you would if she was rude or offensive to you in general, depending on your parenting style.

Ì'd treat it exactly the same as a t-shirt with a racist, homophobic or sexist slogan, and get rid of it.