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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get very cross when DSD wears this shirt?

183 replies

LittleSnaily · 24/09/2015 08:49

DSD has a shirt that says "escaped from psycho ward" on it.

I find it really offensive. Do has explained this to her but she still wears it.

She is always talking about people being racist and homophobic and how dreadful it is but then she does this to wind me up!

I have been a mental health patient in the past so I'm probably hyper sensitive.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 24/09/2015 11:54

MascaraAndConverse she's in her late teens, not a child. I was living independently from 16 onwards and I was most definitely an adult. There is no excuse for anyone to wear a t-shirt like this anyway, whatever their age.

Gottagetmoving · 24/09/2015 11:57

I know people who have had mental health issues who would find that slogan amusing.
It is best ignored if you don't like it because teenagers like to shock and get a reaction.
It really is difficult these days NOT to offend people. Seems like there is always someone who will be offended.

DixieNormas · 24/09/2015 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeaceOfWildThings · 24/09/2015 11:59

Has she ever experience mental illness herself?

Duckdeamon · 24/09/2015 12:01

How hard is it not to use sexist, homophobic, racist insults then? Or is it just prejudice about mental health that's fine?

People with MH problems should be fine with it?

Confused That's like saying it's fine to use racist or homophobic terms in public because some black or gay people use them about themselves.

LittleLionMansMummy · 24/09/2015 12:02

Grunt/ Cloak - yes I can see that perceptions are different and that my understanding is based on studying the psychology of serious offenders in maximum security prisons. I think that's how my family and friends would view it too tbh. But I get that others will find it offensive for other reasons and if that's the case then some education for the op's dsd could be beneficial.

reni2 · 24/09/2015 12:06

Or maybe run a commentary on the T-Shirt when people see you with her wearing it "She's a bit disablist, we are working with her. She has conquered her racism and her homophobia successfully, I'm sure when she's a bit older she will get this too, won't you, DSD?" Sweet apologetic smile.

MascaraAndConverse · 24/09/2015 12:06

Ah, someone in their late teens shouldn't be wearing something like that. Sorry I thought you were going to say she's about 14 who thinks she's being funny. That's why I said she will grow out of it.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 24/09/2015 12:09

tell her that one in ten people will suffer with a mental health problem in their lives, and that if it is her, you hope people won't mock her with silly t-shirts.
it is downright offensive.

PeaceOfWildThings · 24/09/2015 12:12

It's been in 4 since the 90s Lisbeth, and is probably more like one in two or three by now.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 24/09/2015 12:15

Well there you go Grin
Personally I would find it extremely offensive, as my brother was in a 'psycho ward' ffs.
Anyone whose family has suffered with mental illness would object.
And if one in three of us are going to get ill at some point, then ....
it is really not a good t shirt to wear.
And anyone who says I am 'professionally offended' can fuck off.

OneDay103 · 24/09/2015 12:21

All you can do is ask her not to wear it. You really can't force her to do it.
She's a teen, who needs to mature a bit, I would not make this a battle. She might pick up another t-shirt which you will again find offensive and then what? Keep telling her what to wear?

Sillybillybonker · 24/09/2015 12:29

I'm on permanent treatment for MH problems. I would actually find that T shirt quite funny. It is kind of self deprecating. Perhaps she thinks she is a bit mad. So what? Nothing wrong with a bit of madness.

LockedBox · 24/09/2015 12:32

"Anyone whose family has suffered with mental illness would object"

Not me. Please don't make sweeping statements.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 24/09/2015 12:33

OK then the vast majority of thinking people whose family has suffered with mental illness. How's that?

Sillybillybonker · 24/09/2015 12:34

In fact, there is a lot of mental illness in my family. Frankly, making a joke about it makes it more bearable!!!

triathlon · 24/09/2015 12:35

YANBU

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 24/09/2015 12:35

True it is all better out in the open...at least people are talking about it these days...and yes I suppose jokes could be included in that.

Sillybillybonker · 24/09/2015 12:36

I'm a "thinking person" too but I am entitled to have a different view to those who find it offensive.

LockedBox · 24/09/2015 12:38

Vast majority of "thinking" people. How rude!

I'm a thinking person, have suffered dreadfully at the hands of MH issues and have actually lost close family members to suicide. I do not find this shirt offensive - that doesn't make me thick.

Hmm
MistressChalk · 24/09/2015 12:39

Presumably some people would think its fine for a teenager to wear a cheeky t-shirt with 'escaped from the plantation' or 'escaped from auschwitz' on it? Since they are only teenagers and are want to be a bit silly.....

I find that t-shirt offensive and would be very tempted to call someone out on it if I saw them wearing it in public.

Gruntfuttock · 24/09/2015 12:41

Sillybillybonker "I'm on permanent treatment for MH problems."

So am I, I am 61. I was also in a psychiatric hospital in my teens.

Sillybillybonker "I would actually find that T shirt quite funny. It is kind of self deprecating. Perhaps she thinks she is a bit mad. So what? Nothing wrong with a bit of madness."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of madness"? WTF? Would you say "nothing wrong with a bit of cancer"? Nothing wrong with a bit of multiple sclerosis? Nothing wrong with a bit of cystic fibrosis? Why is mental illness the only one that is "funny" It can cause extreme pain, sometimes lifelong, just as much as physical illness. It is also often terminal, when the sufferer can endure the pain no longer. Not funny.

Duckdeamon · 24/09/2015 12:41

The manufacturer and retailer should be called out on it too.

Mumwithanipad · 24/09/2015 12:42

Four years ago, a Tshirt like this wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest, and I'd probably be with the people saying its nothing to get worked up about. I was ignorant and coming from a place of never (knowingly) having MH issues affect me or anyone I loved.

My mil has spent time on mental health wards after several psychotic episodes, she's getting better but my god do people seem to think it's ok to make psycho jokes to her. It upsets her but if she should show it then she's accused of having a wobbly and needing to go back. People genuinely don't seem to realise the offence and harm in calling someone a psycho can do, when they receive a reaction that's anything other than laughing they get defensive and then go in the attack when called out on it. Mil has had "professionally offended" when she tried to explain why "ooh escaped from the looney bin are ya?"
Mil hardly leaves the house now because she can't laugh at the "jokes" and feels she can't explain why she doesn't like it without it being put down to her "not being right in the head".
There are people who have been through the same as mil who wouldn't find certain language offensive, doesn't mean those who do should suck it up and stfu, nor does it mean they are professionally offended.

SiencynArsecandle · 24/09/2015 12:45

Grunt - totally agree

As someone whose children have all been in school and had the insults of 'Psycho' thrown at them due to their Dad's Mental illness, been asked if he's out the nuthouse yet, and had a person tell me to my face that my DH 'should be locked up' then yes, I do find it very offensive. She should know better, the manufacturers of such items should know better and society as a whole should know better.