To get very cross when DSD wears this shirt?

[LittleSnaily]

DSD has a shirt that says "escaped from psycho ward" on it.

I find it really offensive. Do has explained this to her but she still wears it.

She is always talking about people being racist and homophobic and how dreadful it is but then she does this to wind me up!

I have been a mental health patient in the past so I'm probably hyper sensitive.

Aibu?

YANBU - that is all.

She won't be wearing it to cause offense. Alot of teenagers like being ' different' and if I seen that t shirt on a teenager, I wouldn't be offended.. It's meant to be funny.
Kids seem to want to be seen as crazy, funny and weird by their friends.
As in someone fun. Not someone who who needs genuine mental help.

I say pull the stick out your arses, she's wearing a slogan top. She's a teenager Professionaly offended comes to mind.

If we avoided doing anything that could cause even the slightest bit of offense to anyone.. Then we'd probably all never leave our homes - oh actually not going out the house enough will probably offend someone!

Some people can find problems anywhere... Sad lives you must live

I have been on a ward before due to mental health issues. I think you're being ridiculous.

Very offensive. Suggest she buys a top saying something derogatory about Cancer, then watch all the horrified responses

I wouldn't put to much stock in it. We all used to do shit to wind folk up when we wee teens.

YNBU, but you can't really blame youngsters who wear tgem. It's the manufacturers that make them. I hate any type of disrespectful writing on tops, ie spoiled little princess ect, and people wonder why respect is sadly lacking. I saw something on a baby gro once that said. I'm only a baby and even I hate it either says Man united or Man City, but fancy putting the word "Hate" on babies clothing or anyones for that matter.

Meg. Respect does not = having a stick stuck up your arse

Say "Your discrimination of people with mental health problems really sucks, you act as if we lived in 1900 when that sort of thing was ok, along with homophobia and racism?"

If she is as worried about homophobia and racism as she says it might stop her.

To be a little pedantic, isn't 'psycho' the shortened form of 'psychopathic'? And doesn't that actually mean someone who's behaviour is characterised by antisocial behaviour and diminished empathy and remorse? If so yabu to mistake psychopathy with other forms of mental illness that may have virtually no impact on others but cause a great deal of anxiety for the individual. I would take this t shirt for what itbis - an, albeit misguided, attempt at humour, as in 'stay away from me - I'm dangerous'. Teenagers like to be provocative/ aggressive in that way. I would not be drawing on an inference that isnt there - i.e. everyone with a mental illness has psychopathic tendencies. Sorry op, I think you are projecting. It's tasteless but you have no control over what she wears until it enters your washing machine!

remind her that most of us see it as saying 'I'm an arrogant little arse who thinks I'm so clever'

YANBU - it's just one more example of how MH stigma is alive and kicking.

How about "escaped from cancer ward"? No? Same thing really.

When we were building a new MH unit here, the attitude was "I don't want to be living next door to a bunch of psychos". That's why T shirts like that are a problem. They perpetuate the myth that folks with MH problems should be locked up.

Little Lion To be a little pedantic, isn't 'psycho' the shortened form of 'psychopathic'? And doesn't that actually mean someone who's behaviour is characterised by antisocial behaviour and diminished empathy and remorse? If so yabu to mistake psychopathy with other forms of mental illness...
It's not her making the connection though, is it? "Psycho" is a widely known derogatory term for someone with MH issues.

There's other offensive words for people I daren't even type, but apparently racism or homophobia matter, it's just slurs against people with MH problems that don't. If this shirt had a racist slogan on it, you'd all be up in arms - why doesn't MH matter so much? We don't even have a proper name for it, ffs - disableism? Mentalism? The fact that OP's daughter it outspoken against other forms of discrimination just shows how neglected the issue is.

I'm sick and tired of living every day with the horrible discrimination around MH issues - I'm actually in therapy dealing with the fallout of the stigma, my original issues are pretty much better! The stigma is what's fucked my life up, and what makes it so hard to recover.

Frankly I think blacking up would be the equivalent, but that would be so racist you'd never even consider it! Yet PP's think it's ok to "joke" about being a menal health patient.

Well my understanding of 'psycho' is not of someone with mental health issues at all, it's usually used to refer to people like Stuart Sutcliffe and Myra Hindley etc - the very furthest extreme. And i know we can argue about whether people like that are mad or bad etc but my point is that I would take the t shirt as a reference to those types of people, not an inference about mental health more generally. As I said, tasteless, yes. Misguided, yes. Unpleasant, yes. A social commentary on mental health? No.

Personally I would ignore stuff like this as we do mature and grow up and relies that some things we may have said or did seemed funny at the time but looking back, are not.

I had a French Connection top that said Fondle, Foreplay, Fcuk and thought it was great. Now I can't believe I wore that out.

Maybe educating her is a good idea, would you be able to take her into work?

YABVVVU to say you are going to throw it out. Sorry but how dare you. She isn't your daughter and she is in her late teens not a young child. If I was her mother and you did this I'd be spitting feathers!

CloakAndJagger "How about "escaped from cancer ward"? No? Same thing really."

I was going to say the same. It's completely beyond me why such things are designed and sold in the first place. How is it possible for anyone to think they're OK? As for the people who wear them, well, I wouldn't want to know anyone who would wear such a thing. They must have really sick minds and attitudes.

LittleLion - working in mental health, I can tell you that psycho is a regular insult thrown at a lot of people with MH issues, so while you may only link it to murderers, others use it to link MH with people who do bad things.

Stigma is a funny thing, it's really hard to see the harm unless you're the one who it's attached to. It's why I try to listen to folks when they say something is harmful.

She's a teen, it's her job to push boundaries & wind you up, your job is not to fall for it, stay level headed & pick your battles more carefully - she's had it explained to her why it's offensive, other than that, this isn't a battle to engage in.

When she's older & wiser she will probably look back with embarrassment at wearing it, but in the mean time, you are over reacting.

She'll grow out of it. Not just out of the size!

Honestly just pick your battles. She's still a kid and will cringe in a few years trust me. If she was a grown woman I would be though.

LittleLionMansMummy if it wasn't meant to refer to people with mental illness, why would it say "psycho ward"?

Just to say op that my intention is not to minimise your feelings about this. If it offends you, you have the right to educate her as you have done on this thread. I agree that mental health as an unseen disability does not receive the same level of attention or understanding as other forms of discrimination or illness. Perhaps you could speak to her about how other people might perceive her t shirt as very offensive and upsetting. Teenagers sometimes do these things to provoke a reaction but are more often than not very surprised by just how much they've upset someone. What is your relationship like with her otherwise? Is it likely she's doing it to annoy and upset you or could she just been naive about the connotations?

Can't stand people using the term "professionally offended" to try to belittle and silence other people, especially people who have personal reasons to be offended by racism, sexism, insults to people with health problems, disability.