To get very cross when DSD wears this shirt?

[LittleSnaily]

DSD has a shirt that says "escaped from psycho ward" on it.

I find it really offensive. Do has explained this to her but she still wears it.

She is always talking about people being racist and homophobic and how dreadful it is but then she does this to wind me up!

I have been a mental health patient in the past so I'm probably hyper sensitive.

Aibu?

Rather than confronting her about this repeatedly, why not get her involved in your MH advocacy work and let her work it out for herself?

I am sure that, once she more fully understands the issues of stigma etc., she will voluntarily relinquish the top! There's probably a bit of personal pride involved in that she may know she's done something a bit insensitive but not know how to get out of it while saving face.

Does anyone find physical illness funny? Just mental illness? Why? I've suffered all my life and will need medication (and the side-effects are serious and debilitating) all my life. That's for severe depression. It's appalling that anyone thinks "Escaped from a psycho ward" is acceptable in any way. To have designed, to have manufactured, put on sale, bought and worn. Inexplicable to me.

It is offensive, in that it has the possibility to cause offence. It doesn't matter how many people on here aren't bothered by it, the op doesn't like it, finds it cross-making and has explained why her own history with regards to mental health makes it a difficult thing for her to confront.

What you can do is make your DSD aware that all her t-shirt does is imply something about her. Not that she is a bit irreverent or that her fashion choices are cutting edge, but that she is the sort of person to knowingly offending others, even somebody I assume she is otherwise quite close to. It's an interesting decision to make and I would expect her to think about the gravity of that choice and whether she's happy for it to represent who she is.

My brother wears a "Jesus is coming, look busy" t-shirt and my devout Orthodox Christian father finds it offensive. My brother knows this and chooses to wear it in his presence. I don't think it's a particularly kind decision, regardless of my own feelings about the t-shirt.

I think teenagers have that beautiful immunity of believing that they can do or say what they like in the interests of free speech and the rest of us are just bring them dooowwwnn maaaannnn. Like it or not, the world is bigger than the confines of their own imaginations and when they finally realise that, they'll look back with a small amount of shame at their choices. Possibly.

Gruntfuttock I completely understand your perspective. Mental illness causes vast amounts of suffering but if I sometimes have to laugh at myself as it makes me feel more normal. That is just me. I appreciate that other people don't feel the same.

Seriously? My nan has MH issues, quite badly so, but I'm struggling to be offended, sorry.
Please don't be tempted to damage it in the wash, it isn't yours.

Bolshier (than Arya Stark- it is Arya isn't it, not Ayra? - you sound scary ) you don't have to struggle to be offended. Offence doesn't have to be universal. Surely you can understand that while you aren't bothered by it, other people might be? Isn't that the point? We don't live our lives solely with reference to our own comfort?

Of course the op can't stop her dsd wearing it but that doesn't mean she isn't allowed her very valid feelings and it doesn't mean that the dsd is completely vindicated in her choice.

Sillybilly I can understand that and sometimes I have a laugh at my expense with my close friends and family because I trust them, they understand my problems and the severity of them and yes it can provide light relief. However the joke is on MY personal issues and made by ME so completely separate to any other MH sufferers experiences and made in private not to an audience of the general public.

That t-shirt is making a generalised joke about all MH issues under the gross stereotype of 'psycho' and therefore is open to be interpreted as offensive by potentially hundreds of people who see the wearer walking down the street. That is not ok.

Yuck. I have teens and they don't have any offensive t-shirts, they have a sense of style for one thing, who condones their kids wearing stuff like OP describes. I don't know any normal teenagers who would be seen dead in that kind of thing.

YANBU OP, a shirt like that is going to make her look like an ignorant fool. Horrible and very insensitive of her given that she has already had a talking to about it.

I think teenagers have that beautiful immunity of believing that they can do or say what they like in the interests of free speech

On the upside OP, my mum has reverted to this mindset this at 76, so I guess as you get older you will be able to get your own back!

I understand where you are coming from but teens do this.

When I was 15 I had a top that said 'warning, this bitch bites' i loved it, wore it all the time. I look back and cringe! She will too, I would expect.

I second the lost in the wash plan.

The level of self entitlement on here is fucking outrageous, people are actually condoning stealing/damaging her top and deliberately embarrassing her in public because they think they have a right to impose the issues they have emotionally on other people's actions.
It's absolutely fine to be offended, but you shouldn't always assume the other person is doing something wrong and you especially shouldn't force someone to alter behaviour because you can't control your emotions.
If this offends you so much get a grip and ignore it.

Yes, I will happily embarrass somebody parading a disablist slogan in public. Somebody racist would get the same treatment.

" deliberately embarrassing her in public because they think they have a right to impose the issues they have emotionally on other people's actions."

so would you classify people that object to racism and sexism and disablism in the same way?

How about "escaped from cancer ward"? No? Same thing really.

I agree. In fact you could insert any other type of ward into the sentence and everyone would agree it wasn't funny. It shows how far we still have to come, when it comes to the stigma of mental illness compared to physical illness.

i'm a mental patient who has spent time on the psych ward. i also own this t-shirt. make of this what you will.

or you could have 'escaped from wheelchair'?

Show not scary enough to make you avoid being a bit of twat & point out a spelling mistake hey?
Perhaps I shall now be offended by your mocking tone?

exwife - I think you've owned that shirt, though, in a way the OP's daughter has not. It is different for people who are the subject of oppression - just as a black person using the n-word is different from a white person using it, because of the different positions they occupy in relation to the oppressive history and continuing problems of racism.

shove and eve* and the real problem is that will it is pretty obvious if it is a black or white person using the N word, it isn't obvious whether someone wearing a T-shirt mocking their own mental health is doing that or just being an idiot.

I would happily wear such a thing if it was obvious why I felt I could. But it isn't.

It wasn't a mocking tone at all. I haven't read the book for years and I was asking you for clarification (suddenly stuck me that I might have been reading it wrong, in fact I'll just go and google it myself). I was being friendly actually and admiring how bolshy you must be. But by all means call me a twat.

Nope, read it again & still comes across the same-that's one of the many problems of written communication...

Anyway back to the OP, if she is a teen just tell her how lovely it is & how much you like it-you'll most likely never see it again.

Anyone whose family has suffered with mental illness would object

I have suffered a mental illness years ago - as did my mother. It doesn't bother or offend me. It is wrong to assume offence for others.

A fair few nuts in my family tree too. Doesn't bother me either. Why be so offende al the time?

Do you think the same about offence racist words? How would you feel if somene blacked up and then told you not to be so offended?

Seriously - I'm trying to gauge if those who think it's fine are the same across the board, or if people who would normally speak up just don't think mental health matters.

FWIW the word "psycho" alone makes me remember a very horrible incident, which I try to forget. It is a term of abuse yelled by stupid nasty people to ill people - it is offensive. I am tired of being 'othered', a figure of fear or to mock - I am a person.

*offensive racist words