To get very cross when DSD wears this shirt?

[LittleSnaily]

DSD has a shirt that says "escaped from psycho ward" on it.

I find it really offensive. Do has explained this to her but she still wears it.

She is always talking about people being racist and homophobic and how dreadful it is but then she does this to wind me up!

I have been a mental health patient in the past so I'm probably hyper sensitive.

Aibu?

Presumably some people would think its fine for a teenager to wear a cheeky t-shirt with 'escaped from the plantation' or 'escaped from auschwitz' on it?

So you're saying that in your mind, mental health treatment is comparable to slavery or extermination? That an, er, interesting jump.

I have a mental illness. My husband has bipolar and spent years in and out of a psych ward. I also want to train as a MH nurse.

The t-shirt would not offend me at all, but me and dh often joke about it all. Of course being unwell isn't funny but we often laugh at the things he used to do before he met me and I laugh at myself as well .

I wouldn't want to be seen with her when she was wearing it because I know others might be offended and that would make me self conscious but I think yabu to be offended by it. My dh laughed at the T-shirt when I told him about it and he has seen friends die due to suicide and had his life plans shattered due to his illness. Of course he would never wear it but he doesn't find it offensive either.

Yes I shall laugh at my severe psychosis and schizophrenia that can get so bad that if I don't take medication for the rest of my life, that life won't be very long at all. Fucking hilarious.

You might not find a release in laughter and that is totally understandable.

DH does though and he fights psychosis every day and takes meds that make him feel like shit daily. His life is tough, every day is a struggle. I am well aware that one day his awful depressive episodes could lead him to kill himself and so is he. We have been through hell and back as you understand only too well.

However, he finds laughter helps. Not a great deal obviously but sometimes we have to laugh or we will just cry.

I think that is why the T-shirt doesn't bother me. It appeals to the way we deal with it at times, by making stupid lighthearted jokes about something that just isn't fucking funny at all in reality.

My ex also used to make jokes about his cancer. It wasn't funny that he was dying and leaving our children behind but those light hearted jokes was just another way of dealing with shit.

I totally understand and respect that others feel differently though.

Yes u2 i have to laugh about my health problems or i think i would never stop crying!!

I think that this thread is excellent at demonstrating how being offended is a matter of perception. Probably, the best way to deal with being offended is to refuse to allow yourself to be offended. Ironically, it is all in the mind.

Probably, the best way to deal with being offended is to refuse to allow yourself to be offended.

Would you say the same about a racist or homophobic t-shirt?

Yes I would, triathlon because being offended only causes personal distress. I would feel sorry for the person wearing it to be honest. In my mind, it would say more about the T Shirt wearer than it would say about anyone else. That doesn't mean that I agree with other people's sentiments or statements.

I have no duty to feel offended.

Other people have no duty to not be offended as well though.

That's fine but it is a choice.

Sorry, I mean that being offended is a choice to me. I realise that controlling your own emotions is not always easy. I've learned to not be offended after having been offended may times previously!

That'll be the one Bolograph - didn't think it sounded quite right somehow! The Yorkshire Ripper.

We all have a right to offend. You also have the right to feel offended. You cannot legislate against being offended, you play right into the hands of Islamicists and those stupid people who moan about not being allowed to wear a cross at work.
Free speech is under attack in this country at the moment, and we should be vigilant in it's defence.

uncertain smile I kind of agree with you but I'm interested in why you say that people who moan about not being allowed to wear a cross at work are stupid? Isn't a ban on cross wearing to avoid others being offended? I'm not sure. I agree with the right to free speech and I'm quite extreme with my views in this respect. My personal view is that we have developed a self imposed "thought police" in this country. We are scared to say what we really think for fear of not being mainstream or of offending others. Perhaps I'm digressing from the original post here though.

Free speech always has had limits and so it should. I'd not like to live somewhere where there is an absolute right to say anything at all no matter how wrong, hurtful, hateful or inflammatory. We live in communities and effective communities have rules. Being polite and thoughtful seems to me a fairly low bar to set.

I also think you need to be very careful about putting the onus on the other person not to be upset rather on ourselves to be polite and thoughtful. If I say something really offensive is it really right to blame the listener for their reaction? 'Stick and stones' isn't actually true is it? Words can hurt people very much indeed, potentially driving people to breakdowns and even suicide. Sure one can personally try to become more resilient but that's a coping strategy, it would be even better if it wasn't needed because people think a bit more before putting on their 'I'm mad, me' t-shirts or shooting off with their mouths.

I'm not offended by people wearing a cross; it often contradicts a dress policy though, and the the offender gets huffy and does their best sad-face for the papers. I wouldn't be able to wear something at work that advertises and evangelises my political beliefs, but as so often the religious get to plead a special case.

YANBU to feel aggrieved. I would not be offended by someone wearing this shirt but I would think they are small minded with a limited capability of understanding why it might be offensive. Despite the proclamations of free speech, it is a word used to berated people with mental illnesses....a stigmatised group who do experience discrimination.

I've been hospitalised with mental illness. I wouldn't find it offensive, and to be honest, tough shit if I did. I'd be tempted to wear one myself.

Who bought it for her??

I'm thinking tragic laundry accident too

it is a word used to berated people with mental illnesses....a stigmatised group who do experience discrimination.

Yes, exactly. It's not a positive word at all. Think about the equivalent words which have been used as slang or insults for physically disabled people, or people with learning difficulties. Insert one of those words onto the t-shirt and see how many people on here would still approve.

(and by inserting the word I mean imagining it, not making an actual new t-shirt!)

I'd point out that it's bit barrassing because there"s no such thing as 'psycho ward' and wearing it makes her look a bit dim and uninformed.

Great post Nooka

I wish there was more compassion for other people's feelings.

I disagree with the comments suggesting you steal the t-shirt. Refusing to wash it is one thing, but passive aggressive "losing" is a pathetic response to disliking someone's freedom of expression.

Also, she's a teenager. Teenagers are meant to be dumb and edgy. You can embarrass her with photos of the shirt (and her hair!) in future. Doesn't seem worth ruining and otherwise harmonious situation.

beefthief- I totally agree.

The OP may not like the slogan, but thankfully we have free speech- remember Hebdo?

I remember watching a parade in the Edinburgh festival a few weeks after my father died. Some students were carrying a coffin where some guy popped up in a comedy style. It touched a raw nerve, but should comedic stunts about death be banned because they upset some people?

OP YABY.