DH says I have to do more housework because I earn less money

[parrotsaremeh]

Am I unreasonable for being angry about this?

I think housework contribution should be based on hours worked, not money earned.

We live in a more expensive area because he wanted to live near his work. This means I also have travel costs and need to commute one hour each way, every day. It also means I could not cover half of all bills with my salary. If we moved closer to my job to a cheaper area, I could pay half of the bills, but he refuses to do this.

It is true that he pays the vast majority of the bills because he earns five times what I do. However, I don't think the lower earner should become skivvy to the higher earner.

As a side note, he is a lot messier than me which makes it worse. This may sound quite trivial but I am thinking of leaving because it makes me feel so demeaned.

Ps: we both work the same amount of hours

Did you laugh in his face?

And you married him, why?

Yanbu. Wtf! Does he think you're his maid? What a knob.

I did, Sunshine. There may have been a profane word, as well.

YANBU at all

He sounds like quite the catch.

Sorry that wasn't helpful.

I might ask him to consider how much housework he'd have to do if he lived alone.

I'm with sunshine on this one.

Howls of laughter would greet this proclamation.

Then a bit of a chat on how the housework and childcare gets split equally.

If he wants a maid, he can fucking well pay for one!

He sounds like a twat. Get him to hire a cleaner with his super dooper high wage.

WHAT????? What a complete moron. What century is he living in??

I sincerely hope this was a badly put joke. That's horrid! I agree with you - it's about time not wages earned. Have you told him you feel demeaned? Perhaps you should charge him for the housework you do....

Eh, yanbu!! The words you're looking for are Go fuck yourself DH!

That's just not on op and I'd probably be reconsidering the relationship Faced with that attitude. Do you have children?

Gosh OP, no this is not trivial at all. This is really really unpleasant actually. And demeaning as you've said. Marriage should be a partnership not this totting up of who contributes what financially and then urging you to 'compensate' for the 'shortfall'.

He sounds like a twat.

I think, I'd find a man that said such nonsense deeply, deeply unattractive.

Men who do their own ironing are very sexy.

So, by his logic, if he worked 80 hours a week for minimum wage and you worked part-time but still earned more than him, he would genuinely still think it was fair for him to pick up the lion's share of the housework? Even if you wandered the house on your days off, strewing it with detritus in your wake? He is completely delusional and probably needs to realise that a relationship is a partnership, not a financial transaction!

Isn't the standard MN response is to get a cleaner?

Personally it would be the hard stare from me, gathering up all his stuff he leaves lying about and putting it in binbags down the side of his bed. Cheeky git.

What a charmer! Such a catch. If you don't have children I would extricate yourself without a backward glance. He sounds like a complete and utter bellend.

Fuck that.

I earn a third of what DH earns. We are both full time.

We just hired a cleaner, despite DH's protestations. I refuse to be a maid as well as a mother, wife and full time employee.

Did you get angry and take it out on the ironing ?

Tell him to go f*ck himself. To you really want to be with a man who seems to have you confused with the maid.

I would get a little flat, in a cheaper area near your work and do as much or little housework as you like whilst saving two hours a day commuting. Leave him to sort out his own housework.

Do you....

If DH is out working hard providing for his family I don't think that he is bu to come home to a good home.

SepticSenga always polishes the Bed Knobs!!!

Sounds a bit old-fashioned. Has he ever heard of team-work?