Re: this letter I've had?

[carelesswhisper1987]

Posted here for traffic to understand 1. If I'm being unreasonable and 2. Suggestions going forward.

Been with partner 2.5 years, lived together for past 5 months. Always been a bit of friction with his mother in terms of her having sly digs - saying she's surprised I don't smoke, asking if my friends are chavvy , telling me how unfit I am (which admittedly I am) and just generally giving her unwanted opinion constantly... Don't think she likes me or approves.

I relocated to move in with partner, gave up flat, job, friends etc and now live in a city 80 miles from home. Very few people know my current address that also live in the same city - other than my partner, his parents and managers / HR at my new job.

I have received this letter through the post today (obviously cropped off my details). It had my full name and address on and is basically just a link to two weight loss sites. Letter also postmarked with county we live in - as do his parents. My friends and family live in another county...

I must confess my immediate thought was partners mother!

He is adamant it's junk mail... Has anyone ever come across anything remotely like this or have any suggestions? Doesn't look like junk mail to me.

Trying not to drip feed but there are so many stories about this woman I could tell you. All my friends have immediately said they think it is partner's mother that has sent it. I can't see who else (in the very small pool of people that know address and live in our county) would be so malicious!
Advice mum

[SoleBizzzz]

Woman not wang

[nauticant]

^^

[MyCatColin]

Following on from iguana, have you tried pasting on onto a word document, sometimes if history hasn't been deleted or a new copy and paste hasn't been made then the previous copy and paste will still be there.

it's quite possible MIL has done a copy and paste straight from the Internet links rather than manually typing them.
It's worth a try.

[likeifyouhate]

Bit convenient that you used her laptop

[carelesswhisper1987]

likeifyouhate ???

I am not sure what you're getting at?

I tried searching the .tmp - it brings up a lot of files, I wouldn't know where to start with picking which one?

[redexpat]

He said I can't do that - she's his mother and he won't accept But I am your wife and you accept her doing this and other things to me? And expect me to accept it?

You can deal with this now, or it will flare up again and again and again. Rather like piles.

[carelesswhisper1987]

There you go likeifyouhate - pictures all as I said. You must be a very suspicious person to think I'd make something like this up. I'm in utter turmoil - did you even bother to read the full thread?

[Jux]

You start at the last file and work your way up. Or at the first and work your way down.

You could find the address of the temp files and then go to that folder and see what's in it.

[AcrossthePond55]

"He said I can't do that - she's his mother and he won't accept that." I'm not sure how to interpret this but if he's saying that you can't decide when you'll be around his mother, he has no right to dictate your behaviour. If he's saying that he won't deny his mother entry when you're home or won't curtail his own visits, that's his decision, too. It's up to you to decide what to do about that. But if you have marriage plans, put them on hold. And for God's sake, don't get pregnant.

When you moved, you moved into 'her' territory. You are now a 'constant' in her son's life and living together is indicating to her that you aren't going anywhere soon. The reverse is true. Before, his mother was probably a minor irritant that you could shrug off because you just didn't see her all that often. Now the two of you are probably around each other often enough that things can't just be shrugged off. I think it's very important that you learn exactly what her position and influence in her son's life is and if she remains 'number one' then you need to have a long hard think about your future with him.

In my marriage, I was the number one woman in my husband's life, his mother was second and happy to be so. She was an example to me that a mother who takes the 'back seat' when her child marries is loved and cherished by both her child and his/her spouse. I saw how hard it must have been when my own son married. But I, too, have taken that back seat and respect my DiL's place as his number one. It's worth it to see how she loves and takes care of him.

Here's something else to think about; if there had been a history of snarky or disparaging remarks between my late MiL and I, and I told my DH that she had sent me a poisonous letter, he would believe me, I wouldn't have had to prove it. Because he would know that I wouldn't lie about such a thing or accuse her without reason.