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In finding it hard to believe people let their young kids take up seats on trains when adults are standing

349 replies

gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 22:54

Never get the train anymore, first time today in about 10 yrs got train to take DS to London. Train home was really really busy people standing in all the aisles as well as the doorways. We sat DS who is 5 on our knee as I thought that was the done thing when train busy. Family near us had two kids, one about the same age as DS, one slightly older maybe 6 or 7, kids had a seat each for the entire journey. I know its not comfortable to have kids on your knee for long time but its more comfortable than having to stand, there was 4 adults in there party so they could have taken the knee sitting in turns or even made the kids squeeze onto one seat to free one up.

OP posts:

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 28/08/2015 22:55

I wouldn't want DD(5) on my lap the whole time. Why are adults more important?


Samcro · 28/08/2015 22:57

because a small child is more important that any one else


gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 22:57

Well it is possible to sit a five year old on a knee, adults don't have that option

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gamerchick · 28/08/2015 22:58

I've always booked in advance and paid for a seperate seat for mine ever since he was 2 and have no problem keeping him in it no matter how packed the train got. It's the reason I booked and reserved in advance.


5madthings · 28/08/2015 22:58

Maybe they had pre booked seats so they had seats?

I travel by train and always pre book seats for myself and the madthings including four year old dd, precisely because I don't want her sat on my lap the entire time. Generally I am going to London which is two hours or Manchester which is at least four hours, so I pay and pre book seats. If someone elderly or with a disability needed the seat I would stand myself to allow them to sit, but for your average able bodied adult, nope not giving up a seat I booked and paid for.


5madthings · 28/08/2015 22:59

Exactly gamer I have always done the same!


bloodyteenagers · 28/08/2015 23:00

If I did that with my eldest he would have head butted me. Pulled my hair. Bit me. Kicked me. And generally assaulted me.
It's not fun being attacked by your child.
He hated being held because of sensory issues.
But to you he looked fine.

There are many reasons why it isn't possible to have a 5 year old on your knee.


AndNowItsSeven · 28/08/2015 23:00

Unless the adult is elderly, disabled or pregnant then I would prioritise young children as they may fall.
Other wise first come first served, adults are not more important than children.


LadyStark · 28/08/2015 23:00

I am never sure on this, my DD is often offered a seat on the train by adults and I normally accept, especially if it is busy. However, I get annoyed standing myself when lots of seats are taken up by children.

I am not sure why a healthy adult needs a seat over a child. We have paid for a ticket for DD too so no real reason I can think of for her to stand over other passengers.

I'm still not sure though and I think the best thing is for children to share and pop your kids on your lap if you can.


gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 23:01

I don't think they were pre booked as they didn't have the little ticket things in, not sure if they still do that like I said haven't been on a train for years

OP posts:

gamerchick · 28/08/2015 23:01

I used to do mad long journeys as well and there's no way I'm having him on my knee. It's the whole point in booking in advance. What's the point of doing that if you feel obliged to give it up to someone who didn't?


Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:01

Ds 5 was wobbly on his feet on a train till a couple of months ago. I'd give him my own seat and stand but also, I realise lots of adults don't enjoy the loud chatter of small children whose parents are not right next to them, I got less looks if I sat next to him and played a quiet game. If I saw an adult needed a seat more than me I would have stood. I take your point, but kids on trains with the general social attitude that kids shouldn't be loud etc makes what can be a bit stressful, even worse.


PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/08/2015 23:02

I didn't make my son(9) move for an adult today. I suffer from arthritis, so he can't sit on my knee. He has a sprained ankle at the moment, so needed to sit. Is there a problem with that?


amazonqueen · 28/08/2015 23:02

I wouldnt hesitate to put a small child on my knee or squeeze two older children onto one seat so that older people could have a seat. It isnt that the children are less important but that upholding society is more important.

We all pay for our tickets and it makes a more pleasant journey for all if there are fewer grumpy adults blocking the aisles. A little discomfort for me and mine helps so many others.


RainbowFlutterby · 28/08/2015 23:02

Adults are safer standing than young children because they (generally) have better balance. I get sciatica so there's no way I'd have had DS on my lap for a journey.

Tbh I'm not sure why an able-bodied adult is more deserving of a seat than a child Confused


SocksRock · 28/08/2015 23:02

Sorry, but I book seats for me and all my children including the under 5's. The smallest can still just about fit on my lap but she hates it and will wriggle and kick to get down. I would try and make room for someone disabled, but apart from that my kids are staying in the seats I've booked. I generally do long distance by train though, 4 hours +


Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:03

And a kid who can fall over takes priority over adults in my mind.


JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 28/08/2015 23:03

This one again? [yawn]

Well, if we get the train anywhere I make 6yo DC sit down.

  1. She's more likely to lose her balance than a healthy adult. She's also mroe likely to be tired, since she has to take two or three steps to an adult's one step.

2. I've had to pay for that bloody seat. Why should DC stand so someone in their 20s or 30s can sit?

Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:04

Healthy adults, obviously


bloodyteenagers · 28/08/2015 23:04

Some trains do have the tickets. Others it's electronic.
I used to take the tickets out.
Mummy, why is that ticket there.
Mummy why did you put the tickets there. Mummy are these are seats... Mummy, mummy, mummy..
Drove me bonkers even though I answered a million bloody times.. Easier to take them away.


glampinggaloshes · 28/08/2015 23:04

An adult pays full price. They trump. A senior citizen needs the seat. They trump. Ditto a pregnant or otherwise needy person. If someone had prebooked they have a contracted right to trump. A healthy energetic subsidised child comes further down the list. If faced with the above the child can sit on a lap.


gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 23:04

To be clear I'm not on about making children stand, I mean ones small enough to go on your knee

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/08/2015 23:05

Oh god this again.

pregnant/elderly/disabled of course you give up a seat. but you adults who dint are equally to blame so leave kids alone.

Kids, I don't wanna see the poor sods bashed or hit in face with back packs, squashed between adults four times their size or thrown about.

healthy able adult is far less vulnerable than a six yr old who may struggle to properly hold on or balance.

get over yourself.


LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 28/08/2015 23:06

I would squish children up or put on lap for shorter journeys . No, I wouldn't if it would be 4 hours of a heavy 4 year old on my lap.

Kids are not the most important . But nor are they automatically less so than healthy adults (nor, indeed are adults automatically more important than blood flow to my thighs ).


gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 23:06

See above post

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