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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In finding it hard to believe people let their young kids take up seats on trains when adults are standing

349 replies

gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 22:54

Never get the train anymore, first time today in about 10 yrs got train to take DS to London. Train home was really really busy people standing in all the aisles as well as the doorways. We sat DS who is 5 on our knee as I thought that was the done thing when train busy. Family near us had two kids, one about the same age as DS, one slightly older maybe 6 or 7, kids had a seat each for the entire journey. I know its not comfortable to have kids on your knee for long time but its more comfortable than having to stand, there was 4 adults in there party so they could have taken the knee sitting in turns or even made the kids squeeze onto one seat to free one up.

OP posts:

Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:06

There's a lot of farting going on in glam pings trains

laffymeal · 28/08/2015 23:06

Not this shite again.

Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:07

So much trumping I'm crying with laughter!

glampinggaloshes · 28/08/2015 23:07

That's a london view btw. Where kids get free or cheap travel. If they pay the same elsewhere in the country that changes the game.

fabuLou · 28/08/2015 23:07

I dont want a child on my knee, its uncomfortable and I get hot. Why should presumbly 2 people who aren't the

Parent have the child on their lap? I don't agree standing less comfortable.

SocksRock · 28/08/2015 23:08

I'm not having a wriggling kicking 3 year old on my lap for 4 hours when I've paid for a seat for her. Apart from anything else, if I continue to restrain her to my lap she will howl. Not pleasant for everyone.

8 and 5 is too old to share a seat and too young to be able to stand for long periods of time.

bloodyteenagers · 28/08/2015 23:08

How do you know that child is able to go onto the parents knee?
Just because the child looks like any other 5 year old, doesn't meant they don't have sensory issues.
You cannot tell if the adult can physically have the child on their knee.
There are so many reasons why this just isn't possible. It's not always because the adults are selfish or whatever.

SurlyCue · 28/08/2015 23:08

I have a six year old. He falls several times a day. I am 29 (adult ) i never fall. I have noticed this pattern repeated amongst all the other adults and children i know. Adults appear to be far better at using their feet to balance than children are. I would imagine this is useful on moving trains. Logic would then dictate that adults are more capable of standing on trains than children.

glampinggaloshes · 28/08/2015 23:08

to the trump filled carriage:-)))

Fandangola · 28/08/2015 23:11

Minicaters · 28/08/2015 23:13

DS is 6.5 and getting very borderline for knee sitting. If you were talking about a 2 year old I'd be with you, but it's a bit pissy to get worked up about a child who "looks about" 5, 6 or 7 not going on a lap.

The last 2 times my DC were standing on a train (though I actually got them to sit on the floor instead), an adult offered them their seat. We declined, but the offer was much appreciated.

mabythesea · 28/08/2015 23:21

I have a family railcard so always buy seats for my 5yo and toddler. I wouldn't move a child for an adult unless they particularly needed it.

EddieStobbart · 28/08/2015 23:23

DD1 hates going to London after being on the tube at rush hour. Never a pleasant experience for anyone but when you're tiny, can't reach the strap so are stuck if not close to a pole and have your head squished between everyone else's stomach, I'd say that is a more uncomfortable journey that for a healthy, non-pregnant adult. I would always give up my seat for a child.

ghostspirit · 28/08/2015 23:27

i tell my 13 year old to stand if someone gets on bus/train that needs seat more than him. if my 5 and/or 8 year old are sitting and someone needs a seat i either get one of them to sit on my lap.or i move so the person can sit down. they are both a bit diggly-dangerly and likely to fall.

BlackeyedSusan · 28/08/2015 23:28

as I have explained on numerous threads...

mine have a hidden disability. both of them. one has autism. disrupt his routine at your peril. you, the general public, may be collateral damage if he is moved from his seat. I suspect you would move sharpish if confronted with the flaialing legs and arms. both have an inherited connective tissue disorder, hypermobility syndrome, which causes us all pain if we stand.

just because they look healthy with no issues does not mean they are healthy with no issues.

Sedona123 · 28/08/2015 23:29

Under 5's travel on trains for free, so I agree that they should sit on a parent's lap if the train is full.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 28/08/2015 23:29

Seriously, with that much trumping you'll clear the carriage soon enough for everyone to have a seat

Unless there were people who were in need of a seat (pregnant, elderly etc) then I would choose to stand while I put DS on my seat. I would not have a child standing up because they are less able to balance. I wouldn't begrudge anyone for doing this.

If it was busy I may have him on my lap but not all people or children can cope with this so I wouldn't expect another family to do as I would.

mabythesea · 28/08/2015 23:30

Sedona - you can still buy a seat for an under 5 though.

PinguForPresident · 28/08/2015 23:35

I took several train with my 6 y/o last week. Where there were available seats I got her to sit down: she' small, and can't hold on as well as an adult can when the train is cornering/juddering/stopping etc. She's right at torso level, so would get whacked in the face by bags etc, she only has little legs and we'd walked a fair way. And at the end of the day it was late and she was knackered. Damn right I prioritised her having a seat over me having one, or any other healthy adult on the train having one.

bloodyteenagers · 28/08/2015 23:35

Sedona - under the age of 5, I would still buy my eldest a ticket. Even on London buses where kids went free I still paid for his seat. Much to the confusion of bus drivers.

godsavethequeeeen · 28/08/2015 23:37

As a healthy adult I stand and let my dc's sit down. I'm capable of holding on tight and shuffling up when people need to get past. I couldn't imagine the carnage if they were standing up and mucking around.

gamerchick · 28/08/2015 23:38

Yes under 5s are free but you can still pay for a seat if you want one.

I've turfed people out of seats on a packed train because they were reserved for me and the kids and make no apologies for it.

You want a guarenteed seat then reserve one.

Samcro · 28/08/2015 23:39

BlackeyedSusan well said

SocksRock · 28/08/2015 23:43

Sedona - I buy a ticket for my under 5's precisely so the do have a seat.

BathshebaDarkstone · 28/08/2015 23:45

I was told to sit DD on my knee when I was 8.5 months pg. There was no fucking room! Then the same woman called DH a pleb, without realising he was my DH. I'm still very proud of my reply.

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