To think people shouldn't say anything if they've nothing nice to say?

[Laindons]

A friend of mine's daughter is 16, and just put up a 12 weeks scan picture on Facebook, captioning ''It's official, baby is on his/her way and is nice and healthy''. This is the first she'd mentioned of her pregnancy on Facebook.

I was astonished by the responses! People said things along the lines of ''you're joking? :O'' ''Lol are you serious?'' One person even had the cheek to comment ''Really?'' Well yes fucking really, otherwise why would she put a bloody scan picture?

For some reason I think these people are completely out of line. Fine, it's okay to think that to yourself. BUT why bloody post it online, on someone's scan picture? Seems very disrespectful to me, no matter how you look at it.

AIBU to be so mad? Her Mum is also astonished as some of these comments were from Mums at the school that her younger sibling goes to and the Mum is friends with them.

Seriously, there was not one congratulations in sight from these outspoken people. Don't you think people ought to put up and shut up?

I don't suppose you'd additionally deign to explain the presumed genesis of my heavy shoulder appendage dear....?

That'll be based on your fixatation with the specific use of the word congratulations and what the lack of that one word might suggest, sweetheart.

ah, a point which I've already explored with reference to inherent discriminatory, albeit hypothetical supposition which I take unreserved exception to.

This is hardly an unmitigated grudge darling.

You're just picking random words out of a thesaurus now.

Top tip - more syllables do not make you sound more intelligent.

yeah of course they're handing out instructive synonymy tomes at the aldi checkout these days

I keep mine next to my drinks cabinet.

pah! you sound ridiculous. an extensive vocabulary isn't and shouldn't be an object of derision

shame on you and better luck next time

Goodnight, lemonade, hope your head doesn't hurt too badly in the morning

goodnight alis

surely it's my shoulder you should be concerned about?

                       <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

It's not ok to be a dick to someone about their reproductive choices, regardless of age. The people saying it's ok for 'friends' to be dicks to this young woman should consider whether they'd also think it ok for people to post dickish comments to a woman over 35 who posted scan photos on Facebook- plenty of people genuinely believe it's not a good idea to have babies over that age, too, so the only difference is that it's socially acceptable to be an utter judgemental twat to a pregnant teenager, but not to an elderly primigravida. Which is fucking absurd and wanky, because if anything the teenager is probably more in need of support (not, of course, that it would be ok to go 'really? at your age? are you joking?' to older pregnant women, either, if that ever happens).

you know woodlice I actually believe, on balance that the teenager is perceived to be an easy target for their judgement.

The same bigots may judge an older mum but they're cognisant of the fact that she probably won't stand for their shite. so they don't voice it. they hypocritically profer their congratulations to her but withold them from the 'easy' target of their derision.

Some people are twats (no thesaurus needed)

Is she to blame? Yes
So it's the pregnant teenagers fault that (I'm assuming) allegedly mature young adults are incapable of being nice? Wow what a sad world to live in. Is it the victim of bullying' fault she's bullied for putting herself into society in the first place because people are bullies? Jeezuz what an attitude to have .

Not read whole thread I got pregnant at 19 and had no congrats my ex sil announced pregnancy at 26. She was divorced 2 yrs later!!! Age has nothing to do with it in my experience. Good luck to the 16 yr old.

I would congratulate her, she's clearly happy with it and tbh I've also been young but not as young, pregnant and received little in the way of congratulations and lots of whys? and even better are you keeping it?

If someone is pregnant, and they are happy with this then wish them all the best and keep your judging to yourself

"She's clearly happy with it". Not necessarily, she could be apprehensive, have mixed feelings, have strong views on abortion etc. but be trying to make the best of it and put a brave face on. On Facebook people rarely admit to having had a less-than-perfect holiday even, they wouldn't always put their fears and worries up for public consumption.

UrghMug, did you actually read the comment or hone in on words to have your own rant with? Had you done so you would have read that I am explaining about MY internet bully on facebook and say that she saw my facebook as an open invitation. I then say about HER the bully and my situation at having to tighten up fb:

Is that fair? No? Is she to blame? Yes. Will that stop her? Of course not. Just because its unfair and annoying doesn't make it untrue.

I was not talking about this teen at all, I was making the point about facebook being an open platform and people who are predisposed to being shitty will view it as an open invite. I don't know what you think the 'will it stop her ' related to!

Worra, you are very right, there are many like that online and offline. The OP is oddly absent, her thread is the epitome of irony!

At least it reminded me to check my own security since fb does change them sometimes when you update.