To think people shouldn't say anything if they've nothing nice to say?

[Laindons]

A friend of mine's daughter is 16, and just put up a 12 weeks scan picture on Facebook, captioning ''It's official, baby is on his/her way and is nice and healthy''. This is the first she'd mentioned of her pregnancy on Facebook.

I was astonished by the responses! People said things along the lines of ''you're joking? :O'' ''Lol are you serious?'' One person even had the cheek to comment ''Really?'' Well yes fucking really, otherwise why would she put a bloody scan picture?

For some reason I think these people are completely out of line. Fine, it's okay to think that to yourself. BUT why bloody post it online, on someone's scan picture? Seems very disrespectful to me, no matter how you look at it.

AIBU to be so mad? Her Mum is also astonished as some of these comments were from Mums at the school that her younger sibling goes to and the Mum is friends with them.

Seriously, there was not one congratulations in sight from these outspoken people. Don't you think people ought to put up and shut up?

Exactly Red. And as for people not sure if a congratulations was appropriate since many teens are upset at this time, well she obviously isn't upset if she's posting pictures and saying things liker 'it's official'. Obviously she's more or less happy and some supportive comments would be more than welcomed...

If this was the first time a 16yr old mentioned her pregnancy on Facebook, then of course she's going to get comments, asking if she's joking.

I think it's understandable since some children like a good wind up.

Well I think they're damn right rude Itsthevibe, since the people who made those comments KNEW about the pregnancy weeks ago.

Cannot stand facebrag and in my eyes if you put a pic on there you accept the consequences.

I wouldn't comment at all. I don't think a 16 year old having a baby is something to celebrate tbh. I'd be gutted if it were my dd and wouldn't want it all over Facebook.

Just because the young girl is apparently happy and has decided to keep the baby doesn't mean everyone else will be happy for her. I'd assume she has little idea of the difficult road ahead.
Support is a different thing all together and she's going to need buckets of that.
She is fortunate that he mum is supportive.

Well, if she's upset she's going to have to develop a thicker skin because like it or not, she'll be judged, so will the father.

If she's not upset, she doesn't need you being outraged on her behalf.

At least I assume her mum is supportive .

it is decidedly bad form to pass any other comment than congratulations upon being made aware of a wanted and healthy pregnancy.

It is also in poor taste to make no comment whatsoever due to your personal feelings regarding the pregnancy, unless they are shared by the mother.

Lemonade , yes that's right but as someone else said, I resounding silence might be bad too.

lemonade I think the rules are a bit different if the mother is a child.

It is also in poor taste to make no comment whatsoever due to your personal feelings regarding the pregnancy, unless they are shared by the mother.

Not on someone's Facebook wall it isn't.

No-one's forced to log in and lie. They can simply pretend they didn't see the post.

Sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean you are free to share your negartive feelings just because the mother is a child, only thatyou might not be pleased just because they are.

Posting it on Facebook makes it look as though she was expecting " well done".
Facebook really wasn't the place for it I think .

Sorry , my post to lemonade,I misunderstood , I thought you were saying it was okay to say nothing.
I have to read more carefully.

Plus, as much as some of the comments were from Mums, I would imagine the majority of people on her friend list are just kids.

some judgemental unpleasant individuals on here

My thoughs exactly, Felline. If you're not going to say congrats, fair dos, but at the very least, keep your mouth shut if you're going to be horrid. Why does it being Facebook give people a free card to be mean? It doesn't.

no barbarian the same rules apply.

she is sixteen. legally entitled to have had sex which resulted in a seemingly wanted pregnancy.

you are not permitted to ignore her joyous declaration because your own appraisal of her situation is less than favourable.

anything less than congratulations is bad form bordering on arrogance.

think as you like but don't let your feelings render you socially inept.

They don't need to give an opinion unless its asked for, so what they did was mean.
However I cant say I wouldn't think it was great news, its a little sad for the struggle this 16 year old is going to have.
I wouldn't have put anything to it personally.
I'm sure both the 16 year old and her mother would be prepared for the judging... Its not like they would have expected people to think this was a great thing for her.

If I understood correctly that the non-congratulatory comments were from school Mums (of the 16yo's younger sibling's school), then perhaps they were signalling to other youngsters reading the post. No mother, especially one whose children are younger than 16, is going to be publicly happy about that sort of thing!

Do you know if the girl is upset or disappointed with the response ? I imagine she has more pressing matters to worry about.
As far a judgement goes it occurred to me that if you look back over the last few generations , or just one in my mothers case that there was actual judgement .
My mother was put into an unwed mothers home and I'm not that old.
She will have better support and less judgement than vast numbers of teenage girls that went before her.
It might be too much to be collecting likes on Facebook as well.

lemonade, that's very true.