To think people shouldn't say anything if they've nothing nice to say?

[Laindons]

A friend of mine's daughter is 16, and just put up a 12 weeks scan picture on Facebook, captioning ''It's official, baby is on his/her way and is nice and healthy''. This is the first she'd mentioned of her pregnancy on Facebook.

I was astonished by the responses! People said things along the lines of ''you're joking? :O'' ''Lol are you serious?'' One person even had the cheek to comment ''Really?'' Well yes fucking really, otherwise why would she put a bloody scan picture?

For some reason I think these people are completely out of line. Fine, it's okay to think that to yourself. BUT why bloody post it online, on someone's scan picture? Seems very disrespectful to me, no matter how you look at it.

AIBU to be so mad? Her Mum is also astonished as some of these comments were from Mums at the school that her younger sibling goes to and the Mum is friends with them.

Seriously, there was not one congratulations in sight from these outspoken people. Don't you think people ought to put up and shut up?

Disadvantaged before it's even born

How?

Are you the same poster who was upset about a 17 year old (on a really good career path) by getting a round of applause for getting pregnant?

Rather have a teenage mother than one with a permanent catsbum face whenever she decides to remove her head from her arse vivienne

seriously VM

the baby will necessarily be disadvantaged, the only qualification being it's mother's age at first parity?

careful, you're sounding like an arrogant, ill informed bigot there.

Disadvantaged before it's even born

Huh? Tell my son that. He has special needs (not my fault, nothing to do with my age). He has achieved so much, he has been predicted mostly A's and B's for his GCSE's which he has had to work doubly hard at. He lost his father and two grandparents to cancer within weeks and still managed to get great grades while grieving. He is ambitious, polite and wonderful, like all mine are.

He was never disadvantaged.

So he was never a 'poor baby' for having a teen mum. It has not negatively affected him at all, in fact. I couldn't be prouder of him, or all of my children and I did a bloody good job despite my age.

I suffered in terms of not having a career, but he didn't.

That was a nasty and unnecessary thing to post Viviennemary.

Ah, the joys of the Internet, where you can say something mean and you've never really said it. I agree OP, if you can say anything nice, best to say nowt at all.

Being pregnant at 16 is nothing to celebrate or congratulate. There were loads of girls at school who got pregnant, 1 had 2 by the time she was 16. I didn't congratulate them either.

Great post, U2! You are obviously a wonderful mother. Many other teenage mums are too - there is absolutely no justification for writing off the life chances of their children.

CrapBag. how apt.

U2

My sister had her first child at 16, her second at 17. Then worked her arse off to get herself through Uni, get herself a great job and provide for them without much support from our parents (who asked her to leave when she announced the first pregnancy). Her DDs are now grown up and have both achieved first class degrees over the last couple of years; one is training to be a barrister and the other is working in parliament as some kind of undersecretary.

I strongly doubt that babies born to 16 year olds are disadvantaged. Babies born to judgemental, bigoted asshats probably are, though.

OP you asked I'd they can't say anything nice, they should say nothing, then you accuse those who say nothing are being judgemental. Which way do you want it?

Sod off lemonade. Being the child of a 16 year old mother gives me a right to my opinion. I will base my opinion on my own experiences thanks.

I don't think youngsters getting pregnant is ideal I've got to be honest but like my friends daughter who got pregnant when young she was happy about it and so was my friend so it doesn't matter what I think so why wouldn't I say congratulations?

no CrapBag it gives you the right to your opinion of your own experiences, no more.

I'm an only child. It was shite.

that doesn't entitle me to denigrate those parents who choose to have an only child or to infer that the child's experience will be comparable to my own.

Why do people put their lives on facebook and not have it locked down or for just real friends? Surely you are inviting people to say shitty things because things being public is opening up to the shits.

I agree that people should say nothing but I do wonder how she would have felt if no one or very few people congratulated her? To me that says it all, best to lock fb down to those who care and support.

Good some of the comments on this thread are depressing. Who the fuck are you to write this girls life off? And feel sorry for her child? Are you really that ignorant and narrow minded??

Having a grief wank over a pregnant 16 year old is grim.

It's not the end of the world to have a baby at 16, the legal age of consent is 16, the natural consequences of having sex is a baby.

Life is long, life expectancy is 80+ now.

Who gives a shit if someone has a baby at 16? That's 64 more years of living left, 64 more years of fun, of experiences and of loving her child.

You say congratulations or you say nothing. Why should you not show respect or manners to a 16 year old who is sharing good news??

I don't think a 16 year old is generally in a good position in life to bring up a baby. Pretending otherwise is just ridiculous. Most people want to give their children the best start in life. I didn't say I would tell the person to their face but usually people would have long faces if they heard their 16 year old daughter was pregnant or some 16 year old in their DD's class was pregnant. I'd hardly think they would be rejoicing over the news. They;d put on a brave face and make the best of things. But it's hardly ideal.

Who gives a shit if someone has a baby at 16? ...... All those by passing by the post on FB?