To think that having no friends at all is weird

[Happytuesdays99]

My FIL has no friends at all. He is almost 70 and for as long as I have known him he has never been out with anyone other than his wife. He goes to the pub on his own and reads a book or paper and as far as i can tell doesnt speak to anyone there either. They are one of these couples that do literally everything together but she does have a number of friends who she goes out with.

I just find it a bit strange that you can get to 70 and have not one friend.

Is it odd or normal?

Aw reading some of the post on here make me sad, I take back what I said. I didn't realise it was hard for some.
Last person I met who had no friends when I cut her off she damaged my car and robbed my house so I do feel a bit weary about people like that

Lovely snow just lovely!

I am NOT untrustworthy, I find It quite offensive for you to suggest otherwise. I have never been intentionally nasty to someone either, I would never want someone else to feel as I do.

The reason I have no friends is I'm a fucking weirdo, to ugly to have around etc. I have learnt not to bother trying to have friends and I'm working on accepting that I will never have any and don't deserve any. BUT I will not accept the suggestion that I'm untrustworthy

I'm definitely not untrustworthy. I've held some exceptionally responsible positions in my time and have sat on numerous independent boards including as a magistrate

People who feel they need friends to make them feel happy or complete really need to look at their own lives and see what makes them need others in such a way.

I know lots of people and I'm always pleasant to them but I don't need them in my life as they bring baggage I don't want to have to deal with. I don't gain anything positive from having friends. It doesn't make me odd or untrustworthy. In fact some of the comments on here just reaffirm my choices not to pursue friendships.

I would never be able to afford therapy either. Besides it could never work as there is nothing to like about me.

snow I can assure you I have never lost a friend, I have never had a friend to lose. I have never damaged another person's car or other property, I have never robbed a house, I have never stolen anything from anyone, I have never set out to cause any one bodily harm (except myself). If I promise to do something I go out of my way to keep it even to my own detriment. If I cannot keep it due to circumstances outside my control then I apologise as soon as I can, try and reach a compromise and make amends. If I accept an invitation I go unless impossible (see above) but not much of an issue as I'm not normally invited to things. I give people credit for their work; for example a couple of months ago a colleague asked for help implementing a new plan. When I was congratulated I said "thank you but it was

I don't actually think it's all that uncommon for people to not have any friends. Some people just don't 'click' with the people they have in proximity to them and it's hard to make new friends as you get older, especially if you live in a small town or something with a limited pool of people.

Doesn't have to be anything wrong with the person.

I think back to all the areas I could have friends from - uni halls, uni course, school, work, sport teams, music, hobby etc and some of those I have no friends from. Someone have very good friends from though but right place right time and I think there is some luck to it to.

Also some people are less tolerant of shit friendships and would rather be on their own than putt up with people who use them or whatever just to say they have a friend.

Anniesaunt my heart breaks reading that! I really doubt you are a horrible person. Please please please consider getting some kind of therapy or counselling to help you learn to like yourself.

I'm mid forties and I choose not to have any friends. I've had them in the past and they always do me over or somehow shit on me

I've been lied to, used, stolen from, conned, harassed, stalked and sworn at......all by so called friends.

They're overrated.

I read a while back that the number of close friends you have dwindles slowly every year. I'm realising how true that is now. I have fewer friends now than a decade ago, as I have drifted away from some, and made few in this time.

I don't think it is weird to have no friends, just sad.

My mum and step dad are like this. They've been married 25 years and basically they both work from home and go everywhere together. Never go anywhere with other people really. I find it bizarre, but they seem happy with their lot!

I'm weird then. I have no friends (DP and my DM don't count!) This is partly because my exH turned any joint friends we had against me with stories when we separated and partly because my youngest son has medical issues and no one has bothered to stick around when he's been poorly and in and out of hospital. I get very lonely sometimes but have learned to - mainly - like my own company, or at least suppress the feeling of isolation.

I find it a bit odd that so many people do have so much difficulty in making friends - we've moved around a lot and to be honest I never find it hard to make friends ..... I am very happy to go to 'new' events, join things, introduce myself and just get involved ........ and I always seem to make lots of friends. Just on Saturday night I met a lovely woman when I was picking up my DS from a match, we got chatting & arranged to meet for a coffee.

My parents are like me, they are in their 80s and have a large circle of friends, even keeping up with university friends they met 60 years ago .

However my DH always moans that he finds it hard to make friends, but to be brutally honest, he is very critical of other people and expects everyone to meet his very high standards of what consititutes a 'friend' - I hate to admit this but I actually prefer to socialise without him as he can be quite stand offish and then wonders why he has so few friends. .

For those with Aspergers it can be difficult, especially when social anxiety has a part to play. I do have friends, but usually it'll be people who make the effort with me and realise I'm not purposefully ignoring them and me sometimes not saying anything at all isn't because I'm bored /dislike them. It's been a while since I made a new friend of my own, but I have made friends with DH's friends in the past few years since we met, it's useful having someone with good social skills who can explain your extreme awkwardness to people if necessary.

Not odd or "weird" at all.

I haven't had a friend since I was 13. I'm 24 now

I'm 33 and have no friends. My dh had a friend but he died. I've had friends but they have used me and let me down so ended up with none. I hoped starting a new job might help but no.

If there were greater awareness of Aspergers, "weird" would not be used in this context. It's a bloody tragedy there isn't.

I don't have as pergola rosie I'm just a bad person.

WTF that should say Aspergers.

Why do you think your a bad person anniesaunt? I sometimes think people dislike me but I don't know what it is that people hate. If I did maybe I could do something about it

I'm behooven no mates too. Just the way things have worked out and doesn't bother me.

No, another vote for not weird at all.

What is weird though is people who seem to have lots of friends even though they are complete b'stards. I look and think WTF is going on there?