DH refuses to have summer baby
MayAugust · 06/08/2015 19:30
We started trying for a baby in May. I got pregnant first cycle, then miscarried at six weeks. I didn't get pregnant in either of the two cycles following the miscarriage (I just got my period today).
DH has always said that he doesn't want to have a summer baby because apparently all the kids in his class who were born in the summer didn't do as well academically as those with birthdays earlier in the year. He says there are studies which back this up (I don't know if that's true).
So now he is refusing to try for a baby until January 2016, when the due date would be September onwards.
He keeps saying that he has always been really clear that this is how he feels and that he doesn't want to have a summer baby. This is true. But I think he is being unreasonable. Aside from the fact that his reasoning is completely ridiculous in my opinion, I just don't want to waste all that time given what we've been through so far.
No argument will convince him. I've tried pointing out all the people we know who are born in the summer months and are very successful, or explaining that actually sometimes babies are born several weeks or even months before they are due, or that we might have a child with special needs, or a child that's just not academic whatever month they're born.
Who is being unreasonable?
ilikebaking · 06/08/2015 19:33
Statistically, that is correct. Summer borns do tend to do worse academically.
However, in my latest class the eldest child is by far the stupidest (level 1c) and the youngest is the smartest (level 3b). There are 364 days between them.
I think it comes down to nature vs. nurture.
If you have a summer born baby you can work harder to make them have an easier transition to school and support their schooling.
Then again, I can't talk, I stopped trying because I didn't want a December baby. (Got one anyway as I went 18 days over!)
littlejohnnydory · 06/08/2015 19:35
Yesterday it was confirmed by the DfE that parents in England will have the right to start their Summer born children in Reception rather than year 1 at Compulsory School Age, which is the term after they turn 5 - so your dh needn't worry. Have a look at the Summer born campaign (on facebook - Flexible School Admission for Summer Borns).
DorotheaHomeAlone · 06/08/2015 19:36
Ridiculous. Yes, babies born in August do have a slight disadvantage to those born in sept but it's just one of a number of factors not THE deciding factor. To rule out April, May June and July as well is really an extreme response. Does he just want a break from the stress of it all maybe? Or some time to get over previous disappointments?
Artandco · 06/08/2015 19:36
Erm wouldn't say so. I have a February child and July child and both were at the same level by the September they start school ( July one starts this year, and has been reading over a year)
I'm August 21st birthday, Cambridge graduate
I think people with summer horns often just treat them different ' oh he's only just 4 so can't do x y z'. Instead of just saying he's 4, starting school and needs to learn a b c
pinktrufflechoc · 06/08/2015 19:37
Look, it isn't about babies being precious.
Most parents want to give their child every advantage. Some people feel being born in the summer puts their child at a disadvantage and try to plan around it.
It annoys me, as the assumption is always that August born babies will be surrounded by September born giants and ignore the fact that the majority of children in the class will be born between January and July but there we are!
I don't think it makes him a tosser!
Pippidoeswhatshewants · 06/08/2015 19:37
I am sorry for your loss
Even though, I am on your dh's side. I absolutely did not want a Christmas baby and would have stopped trying to conceive, as did one of my friends.
I know that it is not very rational, and life doesn't always pan out how we want it to, but I do understand your dh...
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