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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if you'd have given her money?

135 replies

pickingstrawberries · 25/07/2015 15:33

I just had to get some bleach and other cleaning materials as we had ran out and went to wilkinsons, which isn't in a very nice part of town here.

As I was getting out of the car a woman came up to me and said 'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!' I was Hmm as I didn't look terrified, just a bit puzzled, and then she came up with this long story about how she was lost and stranded and needed 90p.

I didn't have any change on me anyway, and I didn't want to get my purse out or start faffing around (also had baby DD with me) and she just went away. She looked really scruffy and unkempt.

I feel as if I should have given her money - was I wrong?

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 25/07/2015 15:35

Probably not. Depends really.

BlueStarsAtNight · 25/07/2015 15:35

If is had some spare change in my pocket, then probably yes. But if I'd had to get my purse out then no!

Lagoonablue · 25/07/2015 15:37

I wouldn't have given her money. The story about bus fare is a common one used regularly by heroin dependent persons around our train station and in the city centre. They get a few people to cough up and hey they have enough for a bag.

RedButtonhole · 25/07/2015 15:39

I wouldn't have got my purse out but if I had spare change in my pocket I'd have given her a couple of pounds.

I always think that if someone has to ask strangers in the street for money, whatever their circumstances are they must be pretty desparate and if a quid helps them I wont miss it that much.

Millipedewithherfeetup · 25/07/2015 15:39

No, she asked for money you said no, don't spend anymore time thinking about it.

confusedalways · 25/07/2015 15:41

We had the bus pass money thing once when out, handed over a buss pass. Cheeky fucker just asked someone else for money, clearly after something other than bus fair home!

Emochild · 25/07/2015 15:43

No, there is regularly a woman in our town saying she's lost her day ticket, can't get home etc etc

I wouldn't give it another thought

AgentProvocateur · 25/07/2015 15:45

It doesn't really matter what she needed money for if she was desperate enough to ask a stranger. I would have given her a couple of pounds or bought her a coffee.

Lagoonablue · 25/07/2015 15:47

I'd have no probs buying a coffee but she didn't ask for that did She?

amicissimma · 25/07/2015 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

contractor6 · 25/07/2015 15:51

I'd by bus ticket or coffee etc, but not give money. Yanbu

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 25/07/2015 15:53

No I wouldn't, I've heard it all before.

Rosieliveson · 25/07/2015 15:55

I always feel uncomfortable in these situations. I don't take out my purse or open my bag.
I don't blame you for not doing so. Call me cynical but I find it hard to believe the stories I am told by people asking for money.

2rebecca · 25/07/2015 15:55

No, it's a common begging technique. It doesn't mean she's desperate and many beggers are addicts and want money not cups of coffee or bus tickets. We have a social security system.

Original poster
pickingstrawberries · 25/07/2015 16:01

It did make me feel uncomfortable to be honest.

Why coffee? She wasn't thirsty!

OP posts:
jokinnear · 25/07/2015 16:02

what bleach did you get ? Zoflora is the best, no question. Linen Fresh is so good I could wash in it

SylvanianCaliphate · 25/07/2015 16:04

We have a regular called Gemma who does a tour around our city, depending where her asbo covers.

She's has been around that long, with many variations on her story that most people have had experience of her.

She's mellowed over the years and an offer of lunch will occasionally be accepted now.

scarlets · 25/07/2015 16:06

I give money to rough sleepers (I know it's not recommended, but I reckon that someone sitting under a grotty blanket on a city centre pavement needs that £2 coin more than I do, whatever his/her background story) but I won't give money to people who ask for it because they're often chancers. I knew of a kid at uni who loitered outside the railway station on a Friday afternoon telling travellers that he was 80p short for getting home to his parents' for the weekend. Most people just gave him a quid. He made about £30 every time (that paid for two nights out in those days). He only did it every now and then, to avoid raising suspicions of regular commuters and rail staff. He'd often go straight from the railway station to the pub. I had to work a 7 hour shift in my summer job to get that much pocket money back then!

SistersofPercy · 25/07/2015 16:11

Nope.
We have one who's wife is in labour in x town and he needs bus /taxi fare. She's been in labour for about four years now Hmm

catkind · 25/07/2015 16:19

'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!'

That's a line. You're supposed to be all oh no of course I'm not scared and give them some money to prove it. Sorry, but no, don't believe a word of whatever story followed that - you did the right thing.

Coffeemarkone · 25/07/2015 16:20

she was probably a junkie.
In answer to your question, no probably not.
I do give money to beggars but hate that fake story thing.

Original poster
pickingstrawberries · 25/07/2015 16:21

I'd have been more likely to give her some money if she'd just asked for any spare change, to be honest. 90p was such an obscure amount!

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 25/07/2015 16:21

You did the right thing to be honest.

Theres regularly a woman in town near the bus station who comes out with some spiel about how her boyfriend has hit her and stolen her purse and how she needs to get the bus home to her baby.

I was dubious the first time but gave her some, she walked off in the opposite way from the bus station. A week later I saw her doing the same thing.

Dowser · 25/07/2015 16:22

Flash with bleach is the queen of all bleaches.

I'd ran out of it recently but then OH showed up with two!

I was in bleach heaven. I stormed into our bathroom, one in each hand, both guns blazing! Germs annihilated on the spot!

I now have a new nick name. Flash Harry!

howabout · 25/07/2015 16:26

No.

Love Zoflora.