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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if you'd have given her money?

135 replies

pickingstrawberries · 25/07/2015 15:33

I just had to get some bleach and other cleaning materials as we had ran out and went to wilkinsons, which isn't in a very nice part of town here.

As I was getting out of the car a woman came up to me and said 'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!' I was Hmm as I didn't look terrified, just a bit puzzled, and then she came up with this long story about how she was lost and stranded and needed 90p.

I didn't have any change on me anyway, and I didn't want to get my purse out or start faffing around (also had baby DD with me) and she just went away. She looked really scruffy and unkempt.

I feel as if I should have given her money - was I wrong?

OP posts:
ChwatFeechers · 26/07/2015 11:54

I always give it them if it's less than £2, just in case they definitely need it.

I don't know why, but I always feel guilty if I'm carrying bags of clothes I've just purchased and somebody asks for money.

I can never bring myself to just ignore them and walk by. Blush

motherinferior · 26/07/2015 11:57

I've done different things.

I had a neighbour who used to ask for small, very precise sums. She lived in absolute chaos with scary dogs in a squat. Rather to my surprise she always paid me back. And then she moved out. And I met her a few months later and she told me how abusive her partner had been and I was very glad I'd trusted her. I think those 50ps to buy the missing supper ingredient - and the fact a rather sedate respectable neighbour believed her - made a big difference.

Garlick · 26/07/2015 16:35

So glad you helped, mi :)

pickingstrawberries · 26/07/2015 16:43

To be fair, that article said 26 were living with friends/family - sofa surfing?

My brother did that for a time.

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 26/07/2015 16:54

Oh dear I've heard this line many times. And various other long complicated stories (got one yesterday in fact from a bloke on a busy street about how his aspergers means he can't find work). I think the long complex story thing is supposed to build a rapport so you feel too guilty or embarrassed to say no when the request for money comes at the end. I never give money, don't know if that's right or not, but I presume in most situations it's going on drugs. I ameliorate my guilt by donating to a local shelter.

kali110 · 27/07/2015 01:49

I stopped giving to certain charities after they hounded me and dp on our mobiles Hmm
I prefer to take stuff to certain charity shops nearby run by lovely people.

RosePetels · 27/07/2015 02:42

Honestly no I wouldn't have. I have had bad experiences with homeless with them asking for money for something like food then asking more and more people and being in the same spot everyday.
I use to give a lot but when I realised I had been conned it really upset me.
One was this man at a McDonald's drive thru, asked for money For a bus/phone call because blah blah happened. Couple days later he was there again at night asking people in the drive through for bus/phone call money because blah blah happened.

I will buy food but never give money.

teawamutu · 27/07/2015 08:32

There's a man in my town who's been trying to get the bus/train home/to a job interview for at least five years that I know of. He caught me the first time and I gave him the money.

I've since heard, from people who know him, that he's a long term heroin addict. I have no animosity towards him but I'm not going to keep coughing up for the same tired old line. I think it must be very common.

AnUtterIdiot · 27/07/2015 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

101handbags · 27/07/2015 12:51

No I wouldn't have done. I had a woman spin me this yarn once in a park in London. I said no. A couple of months later - same woman, same story. I said you told me all of this a few months ago. She soon disappeared. But can I add that since I started working in London I do give monthly to a homeless charity. Homelessness is all around & it's awful. I know that the charity will spend the money at their shelter & it won't go on drugs.

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