To wonder if you'd have given her money?

[pickingstrawberries]

I just had to get some bleach and other cleaning materials as we had ran out and went to wilkinsons, which isn't in a very nice part of town here.

As I was getting out of the car a woman came up to me and said 'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!' I was as I didn't look terrified, just a bit puzzled, and then she came up with this long story about how she was lost and stranded and needed 90p.

I didn't have any change on me anyway, and I didn't want to get my purse out or start faffing around (also had baby DD with me) and she just went away. She looked really scruffy and unkempt.

I feel as if I should have given her money - was I wrong?

I was in Victoria station queueing for a coffee when a homeless guy clutching a sleeping bag came along asking people for money "just so I can get a hot drink".

He asked someone quite near me for some money and they said no; I turned around just as I reached the counter and said "I'll get you a drink. What do you want?" He then told me to "F*$# off!" as he clearly wanted money and the hot drink pretence was just a ruse.

True enough ABT

It is all very sad I suppose. But there was something so whiny about her.

Honestly, I think you sound like a horrible little snob!

Junkies do whine, that is one way of recognising them. Along with too thick a coat for the weather.
They feel sorry for themselves and the drug does something to the back of the throat to make the voice even moanier.

I'm not horrible.

I did not know that coffee, and she did have an anorak on and it's warm here although quite windy.

I've had that a few times too TwoDrifters, but don't let that put you off if you want to continue to offer food. More homeless people have been grateful for food offers than not IME.

In fairness being homeless doesn't make you starving hungry all the time, does it?

If I was homeless I wouldn't want to just eat all the time.

No. I give to no beggars in the street, nor do I put money in charity tins or buy the big issue.

This happens to me on a regular basis in the city in which I work - I tend to get to the train station earlier than necessary in the evening and stand outside and I am approached several times a week. I never ever give them anything.

I'd hand over a £1. Rather be a fool than a bastard.
Not again and again.

Jeez, I'm a horrible snob and a bastard?

No I wouldnt

Whoa, Pickingstraw, I didn't mean to call anybody any names.

I totally understand why many people wouldn't hand over a penny. They may even be the wiser person.
I'm probably too soft. I was just tersely explaining how I've just worked out a short hand for myself why I feel ok about being a fool (possibly probably).

I wouldn't hand money to someone who looked like a creep or a druggie, either (druggies in my family so I know the look).

I once lost my bus ticket when dd was a baby needed 1.40 for the bus, I felt awful asking after being ignored by one person a bloke in a suit gave me the full fare. But then I'm a well dressed, polite woman with a well dressed daughter...

Don't worry, I was joking :) I can be a teensy bit snobbish actually. I don't think I am horrible though.

I probably would have given it to her if I had it on me. Begging must be degrading and shit, being and addict is undoubtably degrading and shit.

90p? Means nothing to me.

Yes but I was scared of her grabbing me!

Snoozebox I think you've got the right attitude.

I tend towards not giving - but I am also very aware that my teenage dd was stuck once with no money to get home (lost phone and purse ) and the kindness of a woman at the bus stop meant she was given the fare to get home safely. She was also in India and lost her card and had to borrow money from another traveller until I could get money into his account.

It's affected her attitude, she was on a ferry coming back from Ireland and got talking to an older guy (70's) who said he'd lost his debit card and was worrying how he would get home. She lent him £60. Not only did she get it back but they are now fb friends, I've met him and he's a really interesting and genuine guy. Sometimes the kindness of strangers is needed and appropriate - but it can be a really hard judgement call to make.

Love your post Catsrus :)

As a student I was approached by a teenager pushing a pushchair with a toddlerbegging for money. This was the 80s. Very hard times.
I'd just been shopping and I offered her my bag of shopping instead. She told me to eff off.
I find it hard to think the best of people after small change.

They ask for 90p cause if anyone gives them anything it will be a £1 coin

Just try to feel lucky that you don't have to realise that you're homeless and that being 'hungry all the time' isn't a state you experience for a bit.

You can be scared that different persons may 'grab' you' (why?) or may put their 'skanky teeth' near your precious child.

This is the weird thing about UK society that being homeless or an addict and/or a 'beggar' must be some kind of choice. Like you had a home and a job and thought 'fuck that, I'll do better begging for less than a quid in a car park'.

Oh the endless educational, social, family, health and society options (that some people think we all have as standard ) that make people lots of people in the UK think that those who are struggling in society say

fuck it, I can't be arsed. Getting off my tits in a dirty alleyway or squat must surely be living the dream'.

If someone came up to me and said. I'm not going to threaten you or anything. Don't look so terrified. I would have regarded that as a threat in itself. Maybe I am over sensitive, though.

The line about "don't look so frightened" would have got my back up and I'd have said no.