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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give up on real life friends and just rely on you lot instead?

180 replies

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:06

We're having a party for a significant occasion. Invitations went out months ago and we had about 50 guests and their dcs, coming. It's now coming up to the day and in the past week about half have cancelled. Even dh's sister.

Most reasons are "we have plans the following week and don't want to travel before them".

I am feeling very friendless and sad.

I've struggled to make friends since we moved here and was really looking forward to people visiting and feeling like I do have friends.

So would I be unreasonable to give up on the real world and just drift off into the MN ether forever?

I'm quite nice really Sad

I'd just like one friend to be able to have a cuppa with once a week and chat about stuff.

Before anyone suggest MN local, there is only tumbleweed blowing through mine :o

OP posts:
TobikkoRoll · 20/07/2015 09:09

Ah, that's pretty crap of them. Here BrewFlowers. Still, there'll be half the people coming and hopefully you'll have a great time with them. Sod the others!

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:11

Thanks Tobikko, I'm just waiting to see how many of the remaining lot are "ill". We haven't even got to the last minute cancellations.

Need to call the caterer and tell them that actually we may not even need them at this rate.

OP posts:
Wishful80sMontage · 20/07/2015 09:11

:( rubbish op but do concentrate on the ones coming and enjoy. Don't let it put you off organising things in the future it is a busy time of year.

sebsmummy1 · 20/07/2015 09:12

Arranging parties is such a minefield, I'm so sorry your friends have turned out to be so flakey. Me and DP could come if you would like? Grin

AlmaMartyr · 20/07/2015 09:12

Oh, that's horrible, I hate it when people cancel like that Brew Cake Tobikkoroll is right though, you still have others coming, hopefully you can have a fab time with them Smile

Hattiebones · 20/07/2015 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sausagechops101 · 20/07/2015 09:13

Bastards. I'm here for a either virtual cuppa or real life excess catering consumption.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:14

Wishful, I can't see it not putting me off tbh. Don't think I'll be doing this again :(

But the people who are coming are lovely. And they are not flakey.

Sebs :o you'd only cancel last minute! Admit it!

OP posts:
LittleLionHeart · 20/07/2015 09:15

Don't give up on real life friends for Internet people Sad

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:16

Sausage, I reckon we'll eat well for months.

I think that's it, they all see it as "oh it's just me", but on one day we had 5 cancellations. This morning I woke to another, and now it's just miserable.

You are all very lovely. Have some spare Wine I think we have more than enough :o

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:17

LittleLion, I don't want to Sad

I'm just crap at making new ones and I'm lonely.

I want to be like a 5 year old, run up to a stranger who looks nice, nudge her and say "will you be my friend?", then we'll run off and climb a tree.

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 20/07/2015 09:18

Pmsl Grin, depends, I might not want to travel that far as you know, I might get tired for the following week and I have no idea what grub you've got going and whether you're going to cancel the caterers and leave us all starving.

GrouchyKiwi · 20/07/2015 09:21

YANBU. I didn't do anything with friends for my last birthday because so few turned up to the big one the year before. Same thing happened to DH (though his is just after Christmas so it's always difficult). It's hard not to feel rejected.

Hope you have a great time with the lovely people who are coming.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:24

:o indeed.

I think my favourite excuse was "dh doesn't want to take time off work to come, and we don't want to just come for the weekend, we'd like to stay longer [which is fine by me], so we'll come a different time and stay longer" Confused surely that would still involve taking time off? And this is the quiet time of year in her dh's job.

Anyway. I need to stop dwelling and appreciate what I do have, don't I?

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:26

Grouchy, it's hurtful, isn't it? my DM bemoans the youth of today (!) as being far too willing to cancel :)

But then she bemoans many things.

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 20/07/2015 09:27

Whereabout are you OP? I think anyone who can have a NN like yours HAS to be absolutely brilliant and someone I'd share a coffee with any day of any week!
I've also been victim to serial cancellers so we just no longer do parties. Fuck 'em. And their horses! Grin

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:30

Thanks FarFrom :o

Wales. Which means no one for miles around :o

No one wants to party in Wales, do they?

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 20/07/2015 09:31

Your Mum is right, it's so easier to cancel now as you can hide behind emails and text messages which I would bet most of these cancellers have done.

sebsmummy1 · 20/07/2015 09:32

We are in holiday in Wales in two weeks!! Too late?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 20/07/2015 09:32

When is the party? I'm sure we could manage a crowd between us. It is disappointing though, we had lots of people cancel last minute for our wedding reception and I was heart broken.

steppedonlego · 20/07/2015 09:33

I feel the same a lot, fuckyou chris

As a side note, do you want to be my friend? runs off to climb tree

FarFromAnyRoad · 20/07/2015 09:34

Wales is pretty far away Sad Smile but I bet there are loads of Welsh MN'ers!
I agree that it's so easy now for people to cancel without the awkward 'face to face' thing so the other person can see that you're lying! It's a shit development but one that isn't going anywhere sadly.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:34

Yup. Not one person has phoned. All messages.

And so many excuses that I know aren't true. I can understand not wanting to travel all that way, but then don't accept in the first place!

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 20/07/2015 09:37

:) thanks for making me smile.

Sebs, where will you be?

Mygast, it's horrible, isn't it?

I think I just saw it as "if you invite them, they will come", and they haven't.

OP posts:
BeyondTheWall · 20/07/2015 09:37

I'm in wales chris!!! Grin