AIBU to give up on real life friends and just rely on you lot instead?

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

We're having a party for a significant occasion. Invitations went out months ago and we had about 50 guests and their dcs, coming. It's now coming up to the day and in the past week about half have cancelled. Even dh's sister.

Most reasons are "we have plans the following week and don't want to travel before them".

I am feeling very friendless and sad.

I've struggled to make friends since we moved here and was really looking forward to people visiting and feeling like I do have friends.

So would I be unreasonable to give up on the real world and just drift off into the MN ether forever?

I'm quite nice really

I'd just like one friend to be able to have a cuppa with once a week and chat about stuff.

Before anyone suggest MN local, there is only tumbleweed blowing through mine :o

Thanks susie :) you are wiser than me.

It's ok chris it appears me and Welsh might almost be neighbours (heads of the valleys??) so we'll bring our valley class to you, teach you to drink cider and black and party hard!!

Cider and black, now that takes me back :)

We can drink snakebite and black if you want to make it a really classy night?

I can't see how that could possibly end badly because I have no memory of any snakebite and black nights

I'm originally from the Vale, so I drink prosecco and black currant sirop.

By the pint, mind.

Our friends recently invited us to their joint birthday bash. We declined as it was our wedding anniversary and we were away for the weekend.

5 days later we get another email for the same party but 2 months later saying they hoped that by changing dates:

• no one would be on holiday
• the 2 babies due in July would be born
• there would be no clashes with baptisms, weddings, wedding anniversaries...

'Twas very funny

Chris, I'll be your friend. .

Now about FYFest....

I'm in need of a good friend too, but you'd have to be willing to travel oop norf, oh and not have a fear of hospital... I am quite lonely truth be told, my friends are all far away and can't visit. :(
Having to make do with Facebook messages for entertainment. Anyone want to visit me? My nurse makes a decent cuppa ;)

Our clampit-mobile will trek 'up norf' after we've partied 'ard in west wales princess. I've spent many a week in the care of the NHS recently so will be happy to speak to nurse. She can even do my nasty injections (ouch) for me. Do we need visas for Engaland?

How about a mumsnet tour? Be like a jolly boys tour except we could be moody women? Stopping by whoever needs cheering up/a virtual slap/hand holding/tea made/wine drunk whatever? Anyone up to join the festivities?

OP,

half of 50 people canceled,

but that means...25 people did NOT cancel, and are looking forward to seeing you.

That is a good number for a party.

Am I being to Pollyanna/glass-half-full here?!

Spider-Man :o sounds about right! See I wouldn't have minded being turned down. It's the accepting that has riled me!

ABC, none of you would turn up! I've learned my lesson :o

GOLD, that sounds rubbish :( sorry to hear you're lonely too. Whereabouta oop North are you?

Baby, :o yes but that doesn't count the last minute headaches/bugs/work disasters/misc excuses! We'll be down to just me and dh before I know it

Thank you lolimax I shall look forward to that! So far this year I have spent 96 days in hospital... I got an upgrade last admission to a private suite, I never knew the NHS did frequent flyer miles till then lol.
So I reckon we should hold a large party for all of us... I have a side room so we should be good to go

Currently in Bradford Royal.... again.

Waves back at chris

Can we get like a hippie Vw camper? I'm up for that. First stop Bradford Royal (I'll dodge my inlaws who are unfortunately nearby).

I think you have to have jabs for England though.

96 days! That's rubbish you poor thing princess. I was in a neuro ward and one poor lady was on her 19th month! They were even dying her hair for her. PM me if you need a new friend on Facebook.

We used to hold parties that were really well attended about 20- 25 years ago. Great fun no politics and always rammed. Equally attended similar. No one cared what car everyone drove, what kind of house, where you worked. Around early 2000- 2005 everyone seemed to change and it seemed to be really important about really materialistic aspects of your life and where your aspirations were going. Suddenly more people had 5 or 10 year plans and they felt the need to share. More people felt it acceptable to get on the buy to let band wagon and think you were a bit thick if lye didn't rather than listen to your concerns about how the young people would be affected long term by all the affordable housing being snapped up. Something happened in my view possibly the internet being more accessible etc that made us a bit less friendly.
We got so sick of events being about narcissism and self promotion rather than having fun we just keep a very small social group. We hate cliquey groups who tend to work in the same areas and think they know it all. We know we are missing out on lots of things but also know we are having a nice time being with people we like not tolerate because we are socially anxious. Alain De Boutain Social Anxiety - highly recommended. Enjoy your party with lovely people and the money you save on people too lazy to attend , do something long lasting with. Like a lovely photo of the event you can keep.

Sounds good to me welsh
Yes cooties shots are required when crossing the border!

Aww Chris! That's rubbish. I'll come along!
Now... Is there a train nearby? Local bus? Pony and trap?

Whoever mentioned Head of the valleys, my mams from that part of the world so I claim familial links. Plus Cidernblack is my pint of choice.

when If I leave D H, I'm going to move to Wales when I retire. First I'll learn to drive, then I'll buy an old banger and drive in via Hay to stock up on books...

Not all in one go, I was in for 80 days in one go. I had the nurses in ICU shaving my legs and painting my nails by week 5 I was spoiled by my lovely nurses.
Then I've been in twice since.
You know it's bad when all the staff remember you!
I always need new friends, I shall pm you

I really feel for you, especially as I've just downsized my 40th for similar reasons (although to be fair quite a few of my non-attenders are long-distance).

Your guests reasons for not attending sound pretty weak which I think must be the hurtful thing moreso than them not attending in itself. I suppose when it comes round to this time of year with 6 weeks of summer holidays to entertain and fund the kids for priorities change but it's still not nice. I'm not sure sticking with online mates is the answer although I can see where you're coming from.

I debated carrying on with my party the venue I'd booked and inviting additional colleagues and family, but came to the conclusion that I'd rather have a smaller party with the really important people than a big do for the sake of it, so am now having it at home instead (luckily was able to get refund on venue hire).

It is sad and a bit disappointing though. My 30th was a non-event as DD turned 1 the week before so we threw a big party for her, which was lovely but I just had a couple of mates & their partners for dinner and everyone had left by 11.30pm so I was really looking forward to a bit of an all singing and dancing fiesta this time.

Am going on holiday for my 50th - much less stressful!

BTW - I have long admired your username .