Have I overeacted?

[heartmoonshadow]

Last week phoned niece who is working abroad to say happy birthday. In conversation mentioned to her that I hadn't seen any facebook updates was the wifi not working where she is? She then waffled on saying she had unfriended me because her university asked her to and her job suggested facebook was not suitable etc and that she now solely used it for uni friends. I was a bit shocked because she hadn't told me and a little offended but I accepted her reasons.

After a while though I sat thinking about her excuse and something did not seem right so I went onto facebook and looked at her page which she is showing publically. And in true FB style it told me we have mutual friends - ALL of whom are family and some are even ex-partners of family.

I got annoyed and called her on the lie, and to cut a long story short I no longer trust her. I have told her that access to my home is now over and that I do not want her around my kids after all I have to be able to trust someone to allow them around my kids.

She moaned to her mum - understandably - who has had a go at me for upsetting her daughter!

Cue family feud.

She may have lied because she wanted to spare your feelings and had to improvise a white lie.

I dont know your past history but cutting someone from your dc lives because she said a white lie is an overreaction.

It was a white lie. You're probably annoying on facebook. You shouldn't have challenged her. You are overreacting.

Perhaps she was trying to spare your feelings. It would be hard to say "yes I unfriended you, because I don't want you reading what I put on there". She was trying to be kind probably.

Can't imagie ever tackling any of my neices and nephews mums about the fact they haven't accepted my friends request or have defriended me. Some are and some aren't, it's their choice.

She has chosen not to share her online life o n facebrag with you.

You have said never darken my door.

Spectacular overreaction.

I imagine you've killed before. Perhaps if your dd didn't get to be Mary, or someone took the last seat on the bus.

not because of fb because she can lie so easily. hurt my feelings ok I will get over it but do the same to my kids potentially and they cant. better not to remember her (young kids) than be trampled on

facebrag

Jesus, if that's the way you over react to being culled from a FB page, no wonder she lied.

I think you may have been a little economical with the truth yourself too.

I mean who enquires as to whether someone's wifi is working just because they haven't seen them on FB for a while, and then it just so happens to turn out you're no longer on her friend list?

She was trying to spare your feelings! It's hardly the lie of the century FFS.

OP you sound unhinged the more you post, she's not trampled on anybody.

I must be so lazy. I just cannot be arsed to row with people about totally inconsequential things. Life is just too damn short.

She thinks you will give a monkey's abaout fb. Hence her lie.

Is there anything in your behaviour, like, um, I dunno, finding out you've been lied to about something fairly inconsequential and telling someone they can't be around your children as a result, that might cause your niece to think that she didn't dare tell you the truth, in case you kicked off?

Eh? What does your last bit of your last post mean?

YABVU and massively overreacted. She doesn't have to be friends with you on Facebook. I think as others have said she told you a white lie to spare your feelings.

better not to remember her (young kids) than be trampled on

Good grief, how old are you? 12? She probably dumped you because if this is how you act in real life I wouldn't want you on my Facebook.

Asking someone why they haven't posted on Facebook for a while is really odd.

She told a fib, I'm guessing because she knew you'd fly off the handle and that's why she told the white lie. What does your FB timeline look like? Do you share motivational, minion, like if you love your children, quizzes? Britain First (that's an automatic unfollow for me). Or do you post loads of drama, vaguebooking? I'd unfollow if someone did too much of that.

She can't be trusted around your kids because she unfriended you on FB?

Are you 14?

YAB massively U and a little unhinged.

That is the truth why would I make it up? Also her mum tackled me I did not speak to my SIL. I called niece on lie that is what started argument my SIL thinks I should not have pointed out I knew about lie.

This is sounding like an updated version of Cold Comfort Farm!

You backed her into a corner when you asked why she had unfriended her and she made up lies to try and save face/stop feelings getting hurt. You have massively overreacted over a fb issue

So you'd rather your kids didn't ever know their cousin because she unfriended you on FB? Aren't relationships more important than this stupid and daft reaction from you?

Sadly, I think this is the truth yes. Oh dear.

Wow! Massive overreaction.

also she knows my feelings on lies - previous history

I have to ask, what previous history? I cannot imagine a previous history that makes your reaction reasonable op.