To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

[Tistheseasonbear]

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

Maybe so many popular girls have babies young because they're confident enough to do what makes them happy regardless of some other women considering young woman having children to be some sort of failure?

And popular people are good at forming relationships, so are much more likely to be in social situations that allow them to have children earlier.

Jesus some people spend far too much time on fb and far too much time in the past.

There were lots of different social groups at my secondary, it was quite a rough school and along side the popular group there was also the bitchy groups, the geeks, the outsiders and then everyone else (I was in that group!)

I didn't keep in touch with any of the popular kids but through the grape vine I have heard that most are married and settled with their own families now.

Secondary school is a weird mix and the social hierarchy so clear cut, I remember watching the film Some Kind of Wonderful and it was like watching a documentary!! At our school the groups didn't mix, socialise or even speak to one another unless absolutely necessary. I once chatted to a boy from the popular group (he was the school heart throb) and the amount of filthy looks I got was actually funny!! You had to know your place at my school

At my school being popular meant being sporty, clever and sociable. What's wrong with that? They all did well and were nice folk in general but you havent realise, essentially people are popular because they are socially mature.

It's clear that the OP has resonated with many who were bullied at school and have shared those upsetting experiences on this thread. I think if you wanted to or had the relevant experience you'd know exactly what she meant.

To tell those posters that they're jealous, bitter and unpleasant seems very nasty and dismissive to me but I am not surprised. Nothing has really changed has it?

What am I supposed to be 'offended' by Cain?

People referring to women giving birth as calving?

I said it was a horrible phrase. That's completely different to being offended.

I think it also says a lot about the ethos of the school too - at mine, people who stood about smoking etc were seen as being a bit undignified.

Some of us were making the point, Nicki, that not all 'popular' girls were also unpleasant bullies and making snide remarks about them no longer having blonde hair and being seen working in a supermarket and 'looking miserable' and obviously their schooldays were the best days of their sad lives, is pretty unpleasant.

I was one of the popular girls, and I'm doing very well for myself thanks.

I got bullied for most of my childhood, hit adulthood and stood up for myself. Ended up being popular and pretty (oh how I wish I was now).

I came from a deprived area, never had any money, most people in the school were in the same boat.

Now I'm on a decent paying job in medicine/healthcare, with a child, family and a home.

HTH

sorry teen hood that should say not adulthood

I have no fucking clue what happened to them - NOT INTERESTED!

If you say so WorraLiberty, of course you are entitled to an opinion and to express it as you choose.

The popular girls from my school have done very well, they are pretty, rich and confident - at least they appear that way on facebook-oddly most of them also seem to have emigrated.

DD has just done a taster week for her GcSE options and was rather annoyed that for one option she was seated next to a 'popular', one of the group of girls she has referred to as 'the populars' for the last two years.
She forced herself to converse in a civil manner.
Only to be told by the girl that SHE was considered one of the populars - because she has a large mixed group of friends from different classes who actually do stuff, make dates and proper arrangements, play musical instruments, don't stress out about hair and make up, and look after each other.
DD most affronted and is upping the geek look next year. It's hip to be square these days!

What happened to kids just being who they wanted to be not trying to be 'geek' or whatever.

Exactly. When I was at school there wasn't this 'popular' v 'geek' divide. That is something I've only seen on American programmes and films.

Ruledbycats - yes, a selective. I suppose when you're all super smart then you turn to looks to differentiate.

I read on popbitch about 15 years ago that it was a perverse cruelty that those who were picked on at school were the ones who "stood out" because their home life was so fucked up. Wisdom from popbitch indeed.

The 'in crowd' at my school comprised of 'middle band' girls (we had top, middle and lower bands. depending on academic ability), they were the most fashionable, had the most boyfriends and generally haven't done so well as adults. But as has been said earlier, most of them peaked at 15.

A lot of the boys' 'in crowd' have been in trouble with the police, and at least two of them are dead. Being 'notorious' at 15 can lead to being 'locked up' at 25 !!!

I bear them no bitterness, I was happy at school in my own little crowd (which wasn't the 'in crowd') and have done quite well in life since leaving school.

When I was at school (over 30 years ago now) it wasn't cool to be hard working and the popular children were those who messed about. I don't think that things have changed much.

I was not one of the popular group, I floated between everyone to be honest.

The geekier ones gave extremely successful careers that they worked hard for. The popular ones have extremely successful careers they worked hard for.

Some of us had children young (including me, despite very high academic achievement, shock horror). Some of us can't imagine anything worse than children now.

Normal then.

I think people have two different meanings for the word 'popular'. At my school the 'populars' weren't popular because they were nice people, they were 'feared' and people wanted to be in the group because they were powerful and if you weren't in the group they weren't nice to you!

I have been lurking for a while but I have found this thread quite upsetting so I signed up to comment.

The popular group at my school were nothing like the group at the OP's school. They were intelligent, well groomed, polite, came from good families, worked hard and played hard. They even won awards for good behaviour.

I admit I didn't like them but that's because they took every opportunity to point out my failings, even seeking me out to do so. I was called ugly, fugly, pizza face, weirdo, geek, freak, told people not to give me the time of day. There were many other insults but I can't face listing them. I used to try and avoid them so I didn't have to listen. In their defence I was and still am an ugly freak but their insistence on pointing it out all the time was hurtful and tbh destroyed any confidence I may have had.

The only thing I begrudge them is the good behaviour awards that stung at the time and felt so unfair. All the ones I am still aware of I am jealous of. Of course I am they are successful, happy, still pretty and we'll groomed while I'm still an ugly, friendless, freak and a failure. I am jealous in the sense I wish I could be like them, I don't begrudge them their success they ate intelligent and hard working. I have only recently realised I am just not capable of becoming the nice friendly, successful person I've always wanted to be. It's something I'm struggling to come to terms with.

Those who have said that those relating bullying stories are bitches. Why am I a bitch? I'm certainly pathetic but why am I bitch?

My DP was one of the popular boys at school (I didn't know him then, but I knew his type! He was very pretty wiht highlights, always skiving and smoking behind the bike sheds. Apparently he had a girl so in love with him she would carry his books for him )

I was a mega geek, straight As and first kiss aged 14.

At school I know that I would have had a massive crush on him, despite knowing that he was totally unsuitable, and he wouldn't have even known my name!

Bagging an alpha man at the tender age of 38 has made me feel disproportionately proud

Looking on FB most of the beautiful people from my school are still beautiful, but I don't know much about their lives as I take most of what I see on there with a pinch of salt.