To wonder what became of the 'popular' crowd at schools

[Tistheseasonbear]

The 'popular' crowd always seem to dominate every year group in every school.
I remember at my school the popular group had around 30 people in it and would always be doing things you shouldn't do such as smoking on the field at playtime, drinking and sex, always the most fashionable, faces full of make up and lots of bitchiness etc( thank goodness that was all before social media!!) Anyone who wasn't in the crowd seemed to want to be and they were certainly the 'powerful' ones of the year group.

Why is it that this group seems to exist everywhere?

Most of the 'popular' group from my school are no longer friends and the majority of them had babies young and didn't aspire to a career. Barely any of them went to university either. Is this the same in most of the 'popular' groups? What happened to the people in yours?

Thing is that a you get older things change, at 49 i can enjoy a drink with around 10 others from school, i was most definitely not part of the popular crowd but all of us who meet get on well...that includes some of the in crowd folk too.

We've all had different lives but we've passed the stage where we hold grudges over past mistakes or misdeeds. Me and the school bully have a laugh about life, we don't dwell on the time I was scared of her...and I was. I now know she had the most horrific homelife.

I did go through a phase of gloating on Friends Reunited as I saw how lacklustre the lives had been of the people who gave me the hardest time at school.

Well the girl that out cigarettes out on my face when I was is now a crack addicts who's kids have been removed by social services. She also looks about 20 years older than she is.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

Missed the word popular from the first sentence.

Theycallmemellowjello Wed 15-Jul-15 23:51 I was a mega geek at school so I definitely suffer from similarly bitter instincts about the populars. However in my old age I have learned1.that they are individuals not a monolithic group 2. That they were mostly just getting on with life so are not really deserving of bitterness,3. That good social skills are an asset - young people's popularity is not going to hold them back (sorry), and 4. Holding on to bitterness however does hold you back. So I would try not to obsess over whether miss popular peaked at age 15.

What a wonderful post.

I was never at any school long enough to work out who the popular kids were.

All different ones. Some are married, some single, some good jobs, some no jobs or jobs they hate, some kids and some not. The ones who were drug happy in school are now druggies though. One of the bullies is still a shitty person while another has changed a lot.

One died young :(

So many different ways I think.

Well all the popular girls at my school were popular because we were friendly, out going and worked hard. So yes I'd find it bitter if one of the not so popular girls came on here saying this, some of my group of friends had children young and there's nothing wrong with that, we all have good jobs and none of us look haggered or old, most of us are still friends as well. It's so amusing that people are laughing and gloating about these women they went to school with, yes their behaviour may have been wrong and horrible (it wasn't the same in my school and the unpopular ones were the smoking, druggies) but they were teenagers and you're grown women slagging off others now. pot calling the kettle black!

I really like school reunions now I'm nearly pensionable and have honestly forgotten which one of my classmates who now turn up were popular 4 decades ago. Probably because I don't care very much anyway and never did.

The main thing that surprises me upthread is how many 'populars' apparently went on to be doctors and lawyers. I'm a doctor and I'm quite sure classmates thought me weird though they were really very kind to me at school because I was weird. DD is an Oxford lawyer and she was definitely not in the popular group: poor thing didn't get asked out to tea once in 14 years of her highly selective 'best school in the country' type of school. No wonder she is so sociable now!

The "thick" people in our year were certainly not popular!
Why would they be, hardly fascinating conversation, low wit etc.
Geeky kids were quite cool in my school though, although sadly more shy than some others. I think shyness was what held a lot of them back in their teens, socially at any rate, but they watched and laughed along and joined in at times too. Some high achievers at school aren't doing much now - mums not working, but obvs busy - and others haven't had kids and are doing very well. It's not really relevant how popular or clever they were as all of them have/had such drastically different careers.

Oh dear I've just remembered DD didnt stop socialising once she hit her GCSE year.

msgrinch I'm not gloating and I don't believe I have slagged anyone off. In fact I said the popular girls on my school were intelligent and worked hard for their success, I even acknowledged that they were completely accurate in their assessment of my failings. Yes, I didn't like the way they spoke to me, but seriously who would like being spoken to like that?

Oh and btw although I was very unpopular I wasn't a smoker, druggie nor a bully I kept out of everyone's way when possible. I went into class but that was unavoidable.

anniesaunt sorry my post was a sort of general thing, some people have said some quite nasty things on both sides. I hope I didn't offend you, I think each school has its own type of popular and I'm sorry you had horrible comments when you were young. I did to at primary school.

I don't think I was very clued in. Still not. I don't know who was popular. Popular with whom? I'm genuinely puzzled. Different people had different cliques and close friendships. People were 'popular' with their own friends.
I'm missing the point, aren't I? You're talking about make up, boys, partying? I thought each clique had their own boys and parties. Make up, I don't know, some girls wore loads of mascara and had try-hard haircuts, they were the ones doing sexytime a bit young, but I don't think they were particularly popular, outside of their own little clique.
I feel like a part of my brain must be missing, here, I don't know who the Alpha Crowd was. There were some affluent more well to do girls, but..eh, they just spoke nicely and wanted to study Law whereas others aimed for secretarial jobs to pass the time till marriage which would hopefully be very soon, and usually was..... Those girls married local boys and stayed local.
So, no, no dominant group at my school.( London Comp.)

Nothing much.

Having wasted so much of our time in school over the years, I think the only one of a group of about 8 popular types who's done anything with her life is a social worker. The rest are bumming about 20+ years on.

One of the popular people who bullied me seems to have turned out into a lovely woman. I bumped into her at a pub and she smiled at me sheepishly. She friended me on FB for some reason and I had a look at her profile and she seemed really nice and funny. I bet when she thinks back to what she did she probably feels a bit of guilt, or at least did. I am not sure why she friended me really and all my bitterness towards her has gone.

There is another person who bullied me to a lesser extent and I hear from a mutual friend that she looks back on the time with shame and now she is a person who wouldn't hurt a fly.

The other popular girls are doing a variety of things. Some a SAHM, some working, some travelling. Just like anyone else.

A lot of the popular people at school were mean to those of us who weren't popular, but there were many others who were popular and weren't bullies.

I have one son who is very popular and he is lovely and not a bully at all, people just flock around him. I wish I had his social skills. He goes to the shops and comes home with a new friend. I think all of us in this house are envious of him.

There are some really nasty comments on both sides

I was one of the popular crowd, but I'd been moved ahead several years so I was a lot younger than my school friends. That, along with being sexually abused gave me some serious boundary issues, I was pretty wild (putting it veeeery mildly) but I also worked hard. I had my PhD before most of my friends had started uni, and I then had a fairly high profile (in my field) and lucrative career which took me all over the world.
Had multiple miscarriages before nearly dying having DS, emigrated and bought a ranch. DH and I now run our ranch and I take care of our son. I have cancer which isn't responding to surgery or treatment. I was also repeatedly raped and beaten prior to getting together with DH, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I don't mean any of that as a stealth boast, but some of my former school friends have made nasty comments about my supposed golden life. No matter how good someone's life appears there's always the horrific stuff that nobody knows about.
I don't actually know what anyone from my school is doing now, but I wish all of them nothing but the best, I never bullied, excluded or was horrible to anyone. Life throws enough crap at us without trying to tear each other down.

I think I might have been popular at school. I always wanted to be friendly to people and to be liked. As an adult I'm actually less interested in that these days and far more comfortable to be less of a people pleaser. I don't think you can generalise popular people though. Life is life and some people do well and others don't. Fact.

The popular gang at my school was mainly the really clever, outgoing and wealthier children who had an air of "cool".

Now we are all in our 40s and many of them have gone onto global, high powered careers. Others more modest but still doctors/lawyers, etc...I still feel like the second rate child I was back then, even though I have a great career, nice marriage, etc...but I can laugh about that now.

Also I was the first one to have children at 32! Most of them - in fact all of them - had children in their 40s - but I guess that goes with the big corporate careers in many cases!

The "popular" kids at my state comp were generally referred to as chavs before the term fell out of favour... We were 15 ten years ago now, and at age 25 they all look at least 10 years older and have dead end jobs and complain about being broke all the time. It's sad. They also seem to have all the same childish friendship feuds you'd expect from teenagers, not women in their mid 20s.

I would feel more sorry for them if it wasn't for the fact I came from the same "disadvantaged" background but actually put some effort in at school instead of fucking around and attempting to ruin everyone else's education with their shitty behaviour. My dad always told me to work hard and ignore the "popular" mean kids because one day I'll be doing well in life and they'll be on the dole, and he was right. And I don't think I'm being classist here, because we were all from the same background.

The "popular" kids I am still in touch with have all done well. Good educations, good jobs, stayed thin and attractive etc. sigh (It's 25 years on now.)

At my school, they were popular because they were talented with good social skills. So, fun and pleasant to be around. I can't be bitter towards them. They were never mean to me. They were just kids doing their best, and it certainly wasn't their job to notice me and cater to me. I had my own friends anyway.

Over the years, my social skills and confidence have improved. So, I think a lot of us "catch up" in the end.

Don't know, don't care, I left school with the intention of never looking back and I've stuck to it. I don't wish anyone ill but I certainly can't wish good things on those who were intent on making my life miserable.

Really not understanding this thread. The "popular" ones? Isn't everyone popular, in their own group? I think I must have been so profoundly unpopular that I didn't even know some people were 'popular'. Actually the more I say the word, the less it makes sense to me.

You never ever had a "cool" group at your r school????