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To think that school proms are just American imported nonsense, and not to see the point?

206 replies

EmeraldThief · 02/07/2015 14:41

When I left school in 1998 we had a leavers disco on the last afternoon in the school hall. Music was supplied by one of the teachers on a CD player, food was sandwiches and crips on paper plates and we wore our uniforms. I don't remember if we had photos taken, but if we did they'd have been on a disposable camera!

So I missed the whole "prom" thing by a few years or so, and I have to say that I'm glad because I just don't get. Several hundred quid on a dress that's only going to be worn once? What about parents on a tight budget? Then there's the fake tan, professional make up, transport, photos etc. Once again, ok if your not on a tight budget? What about kids who've had a bad time at school and just want to leave and forget about it? The whole thing feels fake and so un British to me, I'm amazed they've taken off over here actually.

AIBU to think that they should have stayed in America along with Baby showers, Bridal Showers and these silly pre school graduation ceremonies? We'll be celebrating the 4th July next ffs.

OP posts:

Turtlefeet · 02/07/2015 14:44

I am with you on this. Its all a load of bollocks!
It all seems like a money spinner and something else for cash strapped parents to worry about.

The primary school ones make me cringe the worse.

My DD is 16 and thankfully her school dont do a prom until the end of 6th form, so 2 more years before I have to face this shit!


Annunziata · 02/07/2015 14:46

I think YABU. It is marvellous to celebrate staying on at school and working hard.

In our school they will ban people from attending if their behaviour has been poor, so it is a well earned reward and it doesn't do anyone any harm.

You don't need to spend all that money, that's the Daily Mail. The school will fund it for kids who can't go, and a lot of them do fund it themselves.

Why shouldn't you celebrate getting an education?


Bicarb · 02/07/2015 14:46

No, you're NBU. Some of these American imports just seem so forced when done in the UK.

My friend's American wife had a 'wreck the dress' party which, from the photos at least, involved her rolling around in mud in her wedding dress. The mind boggles, hopefully that stays over the pond.


Philoslothy · 02/07/2015 14:47

I have loved watching mine go through their school proms. Some children spend hundreds on dresses, some get something off eBay or TK Maxx.


Cherryblossomsinspring · 02/07/2015 14:48

YABU because if the kids enjoy them, then they are worth doing. It's not about us oldies who have had our time.


MrsLecter · 02/07/2015 14:49

At my DD's school they're having one for the year six leavers Shock.


WizardOfToss · 02/07/2015 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 02/07/2015 14:49

I do dislike the primary school ones though. Too young.


Eatsleepwork · 02/07/2015 14:49

I'm torn on this. I didn't have any of the fuss when I left primary or secondary but my dd is about to leave primary and is having a 'prom'. In reality they've hired a hall in a local hotel, parents are bringing various buffet items and the school are paying for a disco. She has a 'prom' dress which was actually a debenhams sale dress for £20. Tickets cost £4 and there are no professional photos. Only other expense was a limo organised by other mums at a cost of £20 (school don't endorse or support this) and I was a bit dubious but dd is so excited and has spent so long talking about it with her friends.
It really hasn't cost us that much and has brought to much joy to my dd- why not celebrate the end of one school chapter?
I do think the ott massive dresses etc are ridiculous but a celebration of finishing school doesn't have to mean this.


FarFromAnyRoad · 02/07/2015 14:49

Whether it's wanky or not (I'm undecided!) it's here to stay so it'll be easier on your stress levels to just accept that. The kids seem to love it - I know mine did - and it really doesn't have to be that expensive! There are always loads of prom dresses for sale on ebay after prom season and Primark do dress shirts for £5 or something. Anyway - that wasn't your question was it ---- - YABU I think. I agree with you about Baby Showers though - dreadful concept!


Delilahfandango · 02/07/2015 14:50

Total waste of time and money! The kids get really invested in the whole thing and from what I tell, from my daughter and friends daughters, the actual event is a total anticlimax!
Don't even get me started on baby showers...!


itsmeitscathy · 02/07/2015 14:51

if it's done sensibly it's fine, I left about 10 years ago and it was a great incentive to get us to stay on till we hit 17/18 (Scotland).

my dress was a £90 debenhams number (bought with a 25% off voucher), 10 friends payed a tenner each for a limo and my older sister did my makeup.

it was brilliant and I have such lovely memories.

so YABU but when it comes to the ridiculous ott stuff YANBU.


TranquilityofSolitude · 02/07/2015 14:51

Once I would have agreed, but now that I've had 2 go through GCSEs YABU. In reality I don't know anyone who spent a fortune on any aspect of it. We got dresses online or from TK Maxx. I did their hair myself and DD2 found a Groupon deal for her nails.

I used to think it was all a load of rubbish and then I lived through 2 GCSE seasons. The hard work over such a prolonged period required such stamina. They've been under so much pressure and when it came to it I was delighted to help them get dressed up to enjoy a special night out.


EmeraldThief · 02/07/2015 14:51

Primary School proms?! Please tell me that is wind up and it's not actually a thing?

Annunziata you have to stay on at school until your 16 and finish your GCSE's, you have no choice about whether to stay on or not.

OP posts:

Philoslothy · 02/07/2015 14:52

IME primary school proms are just a leaver's disco, which I can remember having 25plus years ago.

Our girls wore a dress they already had or bought one they would wear again. They had a disco in the school hall and a buffet made by the PTA.


ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/07/2015 14:54

Primary School Proms are indeed a thing....


sashh · 02/07/2015 14:54

For many people it is the only time they will wear 'formal' as in ball type clothes. It is a good way to end education, or at least school. In my day you didn't have a disco even.

I also think 16 year olds have no idea just how fabulous and beautiful they are, a photo to look back on is not a bad thing. A welcome to the world of being grown up is no bad thing.


Goshthatsspicy · 02/07/2015 14:54

I think it is fine. My son had zero interest, and went to the after party.
Lots of the kids love it though. Life is crap sometimes, celebrating is always a good thing.


Annunziata · 02/07/2015 14:56

Annunziata you have to stay on at school until your 16 and finish your GCSE's, you have no choice about whether to stay on or not.

You sound as though qualifications are a bad thing! It is a massive achievement to get them, and getting dolled up for a night is a great way to celebrate.


mummymeister · 02/07/2015 14:58

Primary school proms have really taken off in our area. Unbelivably one school that wanted to opt out got so much flak from the parents who went and organised their own have now had to cave in. my objection is the Americanisation of our country. Proms at Junior school, proms at the end of year 11 and proms at the end of year 13 are all expense for the parents. the one that really, really gets me though is the Wedding rehearsal dinner - too many people watching Bridezillas and thinking this is something we should all do. Why do you have to rehearse putting one foot in front of the other?? totally bonkers and an unnecessary expense.

The trouble with proms is that opting out isn't an option because then your child is the left out nobby no mates one who cant join in with all the pre-prom build up and post prom banter. really wish schools and parents would take the lead on this and wind them in a bit. Girls spend a fortune on nails, hair, tiara, make up, dress and transport all for one night 3 times in their school career. it isn't even a one off.


LashesandLipstick · 02/07/2015 15:00

I agree. Didn't go to mine. Why would I want to spend £400+ to spend an evening with people I don't particularly like prancing about like a dick? Went for a meal with a friend instead.


DrElizabethPlimpton · 02/07/2015 15:01

I can't see why the leaver's disco had to turn into a 'prom'.

We had a super time at my girls convent school disco. Trust me the nuns were not having any boys shipped in for the evening. They would have rather had satan himself - if he existed Grin


GGabcd · 02/07/2015 15:01

What a bunch of miserable people you are.

You don't have to spend hundreds on a dress or anything else.

It's just a bit of fun.

Those damn Americans coming over here with their awesome TV shows, their great music and those bloody great fun proms.

How dare they??????


dominogocatgo · 02/07/2015 15:02

In my day it was enough to spend the last afternoon down the park with your mates, a bottle of Thunderbird and 20 B&H.


geekymommy · 02/07/2015 15:02

I am American, and I think proms are ridiculous. I didn't go to mine, and I don't really think I missed much.

If you decide later that wearing ball clothes is something you'd like to try, there are opportunities outside of proms to do that, at least here in the US. My university had ballroom dancing. DH isn't into dancing (and now we have a toddler, so there are logistical problems), but there are places in my city where I could go to do ballroom dancing if I wanted to.

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